Klassic Kinect Krap

So, there are people out there who prefer Аниме over western Мультики and there are people who prefer western Мультики over anime. Me, personally, well, if Ты asked me at the age of seven, I would have сказал(-а) western. But, дана the shit we see today, I think its obvious that Аниме is still making better shows. Sure, they're no Samurai Jack, Teen Titans, или Avatar: The Last Airbender, but Ты know what else they aren't? Teen Titans GO, Annoying оранжевый TV Show, and everything on Nick. So, some genius thought of a way to make an Аниме that has the western style animation. That Показать would be the...

Ganondorf: Ha ha, no doubt my giant black guard killed Link. (Laughs)
Tetra: I honestly could care less about him
Ganondorf: Now, nothing can stop-
Link: There Ты are, Ты fuckign cheater
Ganondorf: Goddamn it, I have..... wait, what is that...... Ты hold the final triforce piece
Link: Yeah, so wha- (Ganondorf slaps Link)
GanondorF: I'll be taking that (Picks up Triforce piece) Yoink. Finally, I have all three pieces (Giant Triforce appears) Ha ha ha. I did it. I got the Triforce. I'm so happy, I'm actually not going to kill Ты all
Tetra: Really
Ganondorf: (Laughs) No, your all so fucked
Link: Hey,...

King of Red Lions: Now that we have all the orbs, we can finally place them on three islands and get into another temple
Link: FUUUUUUUU-

Blue Statue: (Heavy sigh)
Link: So, are Ты one of the statues I have to, for some reason, place a ball on
Blue Statue: Whatever
Link: Um.... Okay (Places ball on statue)

Red Statue: Who the fuck are you
Link: Um... I came to give Ты this ball
Red Statue: Get the fuck out of my face
Link: I'll just place it here (Places ball on statue)

Green Statue: Wow, man, welcome, bro
Link: Yeah, can Ты hold this
Green Statue: Sure man, I'll hold your ball....... Oh man, man, that...

~A Desire of Knowledge~
*Benny was sitting at his desk, the lab that he sat within by his lonesome was dark except for the single computer in front of him, lingering over him, the glare hitting his face as he worked in the night. The cool, autumn wind blew through the open window and brushed against him as he continued to work. A strange phenomenon was going on in the world of science. A strange artifact was found floating amongst space. It was something that no one on their own could tell what it was. The thought of what it could be drove Benny to utter hysteria, as he was obsessed on finding...

Wind: (Sleeping)
Mom: Wind, wake up
Wind: (Wakes up) What, mom?
Mom: Ты overslept again. Were Ты too excited for the festival
Wind: Kinda, but that’s only because that festival is the only interesting thing that happens in this damn village
Mom: Well, you’d better hurry. And remember. I want Ты to behave yourself
Wind: Sure… I’ll be sure to behave myself

Wind: (Walking into the festival) Okay, so, what should I do fi- (Gets bumped into)
Marle: (Falls onto the ground)
Wind: Goddamn, it watch where you’re going
Marle: (Drops her locket)
Wind: (Picks it up) (What a nice locket. Maybe I could...

Link: I swear to god, this is a bunch of bullshit. We have met two people, and got shitty rewards.
Tetra: Well, we still got one еще person on this island to talk to. Mesa
Link: Mesa. Ты mean the lazy bum
Tetra: Well, I'm sure he has a good quest for us
(Later, at Mesa's house)
Mesa: Cut my grass
Link: ........ Really. Cut the grass. I swear, I am doing chores for lazy as shit people.
Mesa: Ты want your reward или not
Link: Well, fine (Walks out and cuts the grass)
Tetra: Well, sure, things may be boring, but, at least we're getting a reward
Link: Really? What? Ten dollars for the Конфеты store
Tetra:...

Link: Well, what's next
Tetra: We need to meet the island swordmaster, Orca
Link: Orca? Ты mean that creepy old guy?
Tetra: Oh come on Link. How bad can he be
(Later, in Orca's Dojo)
Orca: Oh, Эй, Link. It's been a while
Link: Uh... Эй, Orca.
Orca: So, Ты want some candy. It's over here. Just step into my basement and-
Link: Actually, I'm here for for Ты to teach me a new Переместить so I can leave
Orca: But why would I teach a little kid a dangerous move
Link: (Holds out underpants) because children's трусы, кальсоны says differently
Orca: Okay, I'll teach you
(A few минуты of preparation later)
Orca: Okay, Link....

(Light appears from ocean)
King of Red Lions: Here it is, the portal to the sacred realm
Link: Are Ты sure it isn't hell
King of Red Lions: Of course not..... Except for the fact that this sacred realm only has Dubstep. I hate dubstep. But, it does hold the sacred saber, so head to get the sacred saber stuck in the sacred plinth in the sacred realm
Link: What makes this place so sacred, exactly
King of Red Lions: I......... Don't know. Just go and get the sword
Link: Fine
(Link and King of Red Lions go into ocean)

(Link and King of Red Lions rise from ocean)
King of Red Lions: There, are Ты okay Link...

King of Red Lions: Ah, here we are. Forest Haven
Link: If its a haven, then why is there a temple that is possibly filled with demonic hellspawns
King Red of Lions: ........................................... Anyway, just go and meet the Great Deku Tree
Link: Wait, didn't that guy die in the past games
King of Red Lions: Yeah, but were in a different game, so its okay
Link: Oh okay

Link: Okay, so where is this giant tree
Great Deku Tree: Oh, hello there, good sir
Link: Who are you
Great Deku Tree: I am the Great Deku Tree....... obviously. I am the only дерево in the world with a face
Link: So, where is...

Link: (Wakes up) Ow, sweet Иисус that sucked
???: Ah, good to see your awake
Link: Who сказал(-а) that? Are Ты a ghost
???: No (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. The King of Red Lions. Your new sidekick
Link: AHHHHHH
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you
Link: Well yes
King of Red Lions: I guess its the fact that I can talk
Link: No
King of Red Lions: Well, it happens a lo- Wait, no?
Link: Yeah. I was startled that Ты weren't annoying. I mean, most sidekicks are like this
Navi: Эй, LISTEN Эй, LISTEN
Link: или this
Kebora Gebora: If Ты are ever lost, look at your map. Now stay there while I tell you...