We came back from the waterfall, as a gray волк stopped in our tracks. Howl got onto all fours, and started petting and wrestling with the wolf. The волк kinda growled at me, but Howl corrected him. The волк started licking me, as I squatted down to their level. Howl told me he had to get something, so I watched the волк until he came back. Howl came with some grapes in his hand. A batch of them. We both sat down under a tree, as he started feeding me grapes. I taught him a little bit еще of English too. I also started teaching him about love. "What is love, Lilith? Is it...bad?" "No, it's not....well....it's not bad. It's a little complicated, depending what type of Любовь it is. There are a few types. There are Любовь for your parents like respecting them, and helping them out and listening to them. или when Ты have Любовь for your friends, like hanging out and being nice to them. And there's Любовь like between two people. That kind of Любовь is very, very special. Not only do they Любовь and respect and are nice to each other, but they kiss, hold hands, and other stuff. Like when Ты were feeding me grapes, that's what a boyfriend and a girlfriend would do to или other people would do to each other." Howl looked at me and said,"What is kiss?" I blushed and said,"When people touch their lips together like this." I kissed him to Показать him what a Kiss was. It was just a demonstration, but I felt something. Something that I never felt with Adam. I just wanted Howl to just hold me, and never let me go.
I needed more, more! I threw the book across the dimly lit, wooden attic. The book hit a stack of old newspapers. I tore open yet another book. Nothing would give me my answers.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” сказал(-а) Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” сказал(-а) Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
upset
and so many thoughts
circling around
your head,
Ты try to make
this right,
to find the best way
so Ты could feel better,
so Ты could be free.
Pain will never
go away,
it always stays
to remember you
that life is not a dream,
life is unpredictable.
Endless questions,
so many "Why",
but the answer
we will
never find!
The strength within
will not let us crack,
life is unpredictable,
who's to say?
Today you're happy,
and yet
despair waits
stealthily
to engulf you.
But,
Ты need to be prepared.
Not only bad things
happen to bad people.
Unfortunately,
so many pure,
honored hearts
have been broken for
so many times,
in so many pieces,
and yet
they live,
they live with
their agony,
they live with
their groan,
but they live,
tho their eyes are
always sad,
their hearts are
still softly.
Therefore
they know...
Therefore
they are...
The brightest star
that shines
in the dark,
that spark of hope
for all of us
who deserve better.