He made me stay in the car while he checked us into the room. I had barely noticed that he carried in two packs of пиво with us. We started off just watching Телевидение and sucking on a beer. Then soon enough he had too many drinks and he started Поцелуи my face. The bad thing is, is that I let him and I kissed him back. He touched me to, but again, I let him and then he pulled my рубашка off. I didn't mind it much until then and that's when I knew that this wasn't the best choice I'd ever made. The smell of his breath penetrated my neck and filtered in through my nose, making my stomach wrench.
I jumped out of the bed, maneuvering his arms off me as I throw my рубашка on and while he yells at me, "Please stay, baby, we're not finished yet," in a drunken tone. I open the hotel room and shut it loudly in his face. From then on, it's completely a blur. Frankly, I don't even know how I got Главная last night, how I'm here today, sitting in my bedroom, alone. But I know for dang sure, he didn't drive me home.
I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to walk into his classroom on Monday, and sit through the class like any normal day. I know I can’t do it. I’ll freeze and then something bad will happen. God, and if this ever gets out, then I'll really be screwed. My future will be forever ruined; All the good grades, the extra curricular activity, the groups and клубы ... they won't mean anything if it ever gets out that I hooked up with my History teacher.
A knock interrupts my thoughts and I slowly meander towards the living room to see if someone really is there или if I'm hearing things again. When I open the door, I'm nearly shocked; words can't express how happy I was to see him.
"Nick!" I yell, running into him, wrapping my arms around his chest. I look up at his face and feel his arms around my waist. That was actually the first time I ever hugged him. But I had to; I was so happy. "I thought Ты died, или something! Where the heck have Ты been man?" I ask, letting him go.
"Been around," he smiles. "You change your hair или something? Ты look different," he says.
"I cut it before school, I mean; Ты haven't been here in like . . . three months, just saying." I smile at him. It's a wonder how just one person can completely change my mood in mere секунды by just Показ up.
"You here alone?" he asks, completely changing the conversation.
"Uh . . . yeah. Mom and dad are at work."
"You bored?" he asks, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Yes," I say, even though I was pretty intent on going over what happened last night in my head, sarcasm, yes.
"Wanna come over? Hang out? I mean, Lexi's not home. . ." he trails.
"What about the baby? Ты leave her in the car?" I ask jokingly, looking through the window at his little purple Saturn.
"Lexi and the baby's in Lincoln. She thinks Sheeri has a fever или something," he says. "Come on, I want Ты to come over. Your parents won't miss Ты much."
"All right." I say, smiling his way. "Let me, uh, write them a quick note, kay? So they won't worry, ya know?"
He nods his head as I step a couple of inches to the кухня and write that I'm at Nick's house and to call him on his cell.
"All right, I'm ready." I say, grabbing my sweater off the back of the door.
He drives from our house on Broadway to our old house on Collinger. They started renting our house last year; we needed the extra money and they needed a place to stay. It's nice I like Nick, not so much Lexi или I would think that someone would be intruding our old home. But they're good people so it doesn't bother me.
"So, where have Ты been? How come Ты haven't come by?" I ask as we're standing out in the frigid cold, him fumbling with the keys.
"Well," he starts, opening the door for me to go in, "we got a bank account so that we wouldn't have to come by to give your mom the money, just deposit it in there and it goes straight to her account. Thought that might be easier for both of us," he says, looking at me.
"Wish Ты hadn't. . ." I mumble, pulling off my jacket, sleeve by sleeve and laying it on the arm of the couch.
"Want a drink?" he asks.
"Naw, I'm good, thanks." I say, sitting quietly on the edge of the couch.
I look around and see all the baby stuff; Boxes of diapers here, little socks, a few dirty bottles and think that this is Nick's life. That baby is what he works for, is what makes him have to be employed at this young age. That he's committed to Lexi and the baby and it feels weird to intrude like that.
Nick and I have never talked alone before; I've never been in his house ever either, alone with him that is. It's a nice feeling actually, I like Nick; he's a good guy.
He comes back with a Dr. Pepper and he sits down inches from me. His eyes dart to the floor then back and forth, to finally land on mine.
"I kinda wish I hadn't either."
I had to think before I actually understood what he was talking about and I decide to just lock eyes with him and try to think of something intelligent to say. But all I can think about is that I'm in Любовь with this guy. That I've been in Любовь with him since the first день he walked through our door wanting to rent our old house. When I found out he was soon to be married and they had a child on the way, I still didn't loose my Любовь или my confidence that the marriage won't last long. I mean, they both only have a High School education, he knocked her up and I believe that he was forced to marry her. I've always fantasized about him and felt like I could have him for myself. I've hoped but never done much about changing it.
The long silence from me put еще pressure on the mood and as I look back at him, our eyes meet and he knows that there's something on my mind.
"What are Ты thinking about?" he asks, subtly, quietly.
I was contemplating on whether или not to tell him the truth или to lie and tell him that my life is all happy go lucky. I look at him, try to see past his beautiful brown eyes, but all I get are the eyes.
I go on to say something, then bite my lip to stop myself.
"Come on, say it. I won't be mad," he assures me.
Still contemplating, I tell him without thinking, in fast mode; "I hooked up with my teacher last night." And before I can stop myself, his mouth drops and it all comes spewing out; "I don't even know when we decided to do it, Nick. It just happened, everything was so fast and now it's such a blur. Had my first drink, I got drunk. I became stupid, God . . . and now that's all that I'm seeing. It's replaying again and again in my head." I say and when I notice that I'm crying, that I'm crying so hard, I'm shaking. I stop and Nick moves his body closer to me. I feel his arms заворачивать, обертывание around my shoulders as he cradles me in his lap. He's shushing me, telling me that "everything's going to be okay" and to "calm down". I cuddle into his embrace and he leans back to pull me even closer to him.
I've always thought about this moment, about him holding me like this, but I never imagined our conversation before this to be what it was. In my daydreams, the conversation would be on the path of Любовь and how we feel about each other, not that I made out with my teacher and that he was the base to why I got drunk. I let him hold me and silently wish that he'll never let go. I cry softly and when I start blabbing again, he quickly tells me to "Be quiet and that everything is going to be okay".
He pulls me closer to him and I feel him softly Kiss my head. As much as my stomach hurts right now, it just did a cartwheel, in a good way . . . Бабочки are near. He pulls me completely on him, in his lap and pulls my arms around his shoulders, my head in his chest. As much as this is making me happy, it makes me even sadder when I start thinking about who was around me last night. I let out a loud gasp at that thought and he pulls back to look at me, "He touched me, Nick, but . . . I let him," I cry out.
"Sweetheart, it's not your fault, you’re not to blame. God, I'm going to. . ." he mumbles the end and I'm crying so loud, I can't hear him. My mouth feels dirty all of a sudden, thinking about my teachers' ugly, old lips on mine. But I can't deceive Nick and Kiss him only because of something that is completely my fault. But really, I've always wanted to Kiss him. To have his lips wrapped around mine, my hands in his hair. . .
I wipe some tears from my eyes and look up at his face; the face that's looking down at me with complete and udder worry. I close my eyes so I don't have to see the car crash as I lean my face into his. Our lips brush and I feel his eyelashes brush against my cheeks as he pulls away briefly then leans back in and our lips go back together. He maneuvers our bodies and his body falls on mine, mine on the couch. My legs automatically latch around his waist, not wanting him to be far from me. I run my fingers swiftly across his cheek, while my cheeks are still stained with tears. His lips wet mine over and over and then the phone rings. My eyes open when his does and he looks at me in defeat. He rolls his eyes and I untangle my legs away from him as he stands up and Ответы the phone;
"Hello?" he asks, perturbed. He waits, "Yes Mrs. Lewis, she's here," pause, "Ummm. . ." he ponders, and “We're watching a movie." he says."Of course, I'll have her back in three hours tops," he laughs. "Well, it's a long movie. . ." he tries."Yes, I'll feed her." he nods. "Okay, bye." He shakes his head when he puts the receiver down.
I clear my throat and look down at the floor. I can't believe we nearly jumped each other's Кости in the first half час I've been here. He rounds the corner of the couchs' arm and sits Далее to me. He looks at me and bites his bottom lip, raises his hand up to my face. He kisses my mouth once еще and I pull on his воротник so our Kiss won't break. He stands up with me attached at his lips and walks us backwards towards the guest room to lay down flat on the bed. At least I hope it's the guest room, it doesn't look like anyones slept in it since we had the house two years ago.
He pulls me on вверх of him and never let’s go of my lips. His right hand trails down my side to the end of my рубашка and he pulls it off as he rolls us over so he's toppling over me. We let go of each other's lips and open our eyes; I want to smile at him and tell him I've fantasized about his moment so many times in my head, but I let his eyes speak to me and I lift my face up to his, our lips lock.
The Далее thing I know, is I'm Рапунцель - Запутанная история up in Nick's arms, our legs intertwined and neither of us have any clothes on. My head is sweating and my hand is caressing his hair. His chin is in the crook of my breasts and the tips of his lips on my neck. We are both breathing loudly but I'm trying to keep mine sustained. Nick quickly jostles in my arms and turns away from me, I was nervous and thought I did something wrong but when he said, "Oh shit, I was supposed to have Ты Главная half and час ago," then I panic.
We both stand up quickly and then realize we have nothing on to cover up . . . our unmentionables, so we just quickly throw on our clothes. Oh how much I would have loved to wear his oversized t-shirt and my panties and stay there the rest of the night with him, but my parents would suspect something and so would Lexi when she comes home. I take his hand when we've dressed and he pulls me through the front door and out to his little Saturn. He speds along the two blocks back to our house when I realize I'd left my куртка at his house.
"It's not like it's even that cold outside," I say, mostly to myself.
"That spring chill is still in the air though," he says, stopping in front of my yard. "Well, we're already late," he ponders. "Here," he pulls one arm, then the other and hands me his hoodie.
"Oh, no. I couldn't." I say.
"Oh yes Ты can; I insist." he tells me, a shy smile tearing at his lips. He wraps the sweater around my shoulders and shuts off the car, turning the lights off too. He leans over to my side of the car and our lips meet. We don't stay there for too long like both of us would like, или my parents would suspect even more, so he quickly tells me to call him later and I shut the car door. I look back at him before opening the door. I hear his car start up and he pulls out of the drive, speeding down the street.
"Shut the door, Grace! It's freezing out there!" mom yells from the kitchen.
I round the corner from the living room into the кухня and see dad sitting there on the counter reading, mom doing the dishes. He doesn't look up from his newspaper and mom doesn't turn around from the sink.
"What took Ты so long to come home?" dad asks quietly, still looking at his newspaper.
"Uh..." I think for a секунда back to Nick's naked body. "The movie was so great; we had to watch the special features." I lie.
"Oh, well okay. Ты never really seemed to have been..." mom pauses, looking for the right word, "friends with Nick."
"He's a good guy, really funny. Yeah he's a friend." I say then do a fake yawn and cover my mouth with a hand. "Ahh... I think I'll go to bed. Long day." I lie again.
"All right, sweetie." mom says, finally turning around.
I hug her and Kiss dad's head.
"Goodnight everybody!" I yell down the hallway.
"'Night Grace," Dad yells.
"Love you."
I close my bedroom door and collapse on my bed. I close my eyes and go back to the bedroom with Nick. He took my virginity, that'll always be ours. But will we have any other memories? Some еще fantasies that come true to make my head spin? I'm happy that Nick and I had that, that we'll always have that. But my inner person is telling me that being in two different affairs in less than twenty-four hours isn't the best thing for me. Even if I don't believe in that marriage, it's still wrong, but god, does is feel so right when I'm with him; His lips on mine, his body on mine. It feels right; it feels like that's the way it was supposed to be.
I jumped out of the bed, maneuvering his arms off me as I throw my рубашка on and while he yells at me, "Please stay, baby, we're not finished yet," in a drunken tone. I open the hotel room and shut it loudly in his face. From then on, it's completely a blur. Frankly, I don't even know how I got Главная last night, how I'm here today, sitting in my bedroom, alone. But I know for dang sure, he didn't drive me home.
I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to walk into his classroom on Monday, and sit through the class like any normal day. I know I can’t do it. I’ll freeze and then something bad will happen. God, and if this ever gets out, then I'll really be screwed. My future will be forever ruined; All the good grades, the extra curricular activity, the groups and клубы ... they won't mean anything if it ever gets out that I hooked up with my History teacher.
A knock interrupts my thoughts and I slowly meander towards the living room to see if someone really is there или if I'm hearing things again. When I open the door, I'm nearly shocked; words can't express how happy I was to see him.
"Nick!" I yell, running into him, wrapping my arms around his chest. I look up at his face and feel his arms around my waist. That was actually the first time I ever hugged him. But I had to; I was so happy. "I thought Ты died, или something! Where the heck have Ты been man?" I ask, letting him go.
"Been around," he smiles. "You change your hair или something? Ты look different," he says.
"I cut it before school, I mean; Ты haven't been here in like . . . three months, just saying." I smile at him. It's a wonder how just one person can completely change my mood in mere секунды by just Показ up.
"You here alone?" he asks, completely changing the conversation.
"Uh . . . yeah. Mom and dad are at work."
"You bored?" he asks, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Yes," I say, even though I was pretty intent on going over what happened last night in my head, sarcasm, yes.
"Wanna come over? Hang out? I mean, Lexi's not home. . ." he trails.
"What about the baby? Ты leave her in the car?" I ask jokingly, looking through the window at his little purple Saturn.
"Lexi and the baby's in Lincoln. She thinks Sheeri has a fever или something," he says. "Come on, I want Ты to come over. Your parents won't miss Ты much."
"All right." I say, smiling his way. "Let me, uh, write them a quick note, kay? So they won't worry, ya know?"
He nods his head as I step a couple of inches to the кухня and write that I'm at Nick's house and to call him on his cell.
"All right, I'm ready." I say, grabbing my sweater off the back of the door.
He drives from our house on Broadway to our old house on Collinger. They started renting our house last year; we needed the extra money and they needed a place to stay. It's nice I like Nick, not so much Lexi или I would think that someone would be intruding our old home. But they're good people so it doesn't bother me.
"So, where have Ты been? How come Ты haven't come by?" I ask as we're standing out in the frigid cold, him fumbling with the keys.
"Well," he starts, opening the door for me to go in, "we got a bank account so that we wouldn't have to come by to give your mom the money, just deposit it in there and it goes straight to her account. Thought that might be easier for both of us," he says, looking at me.
"Wish Ты hadn't. . ." I mumble, pulling off my jacket, sleeve by sleeve and laying it on the arm of the couch.
"Want a drink?" he asks.
"Naw, I'm good, thanks." I say, sitting quietly on the edge of the couch.
I look around and see all the baby stuff; Boxes of diapers here, little socks, a few dirty bottles and think that this is Nick's life. That baby is what he works for, is what makes him have to be employed at this young age. That he's committed to Lexi and the baby and it feels weird to intrude like that.
Nick and I have never talked alone before; I've never been in his house ever either, alone with him that is. It's a nice feeling actually, I like Nick; he's a good guy.
He comes back with a Dr. Pepper and he sits down inches from me. His eyes dart to the floor then back and forth, to finally land on mine.
"I kinda wish I hadn't either."
I had to think before I actually understood what he was talking about and I decide to just lock eyes with him and try to think of something intelligent to say. But all I can think about is that I'm in Любовь with this guy. That I've been in Любовь with him since the first день he walked through our door wanting to rent our old house. When I found out he was soon to be married and they had a child on the way, I still didn't loose my Любовь или my confidence that the marriage won't last long. I mean, they both only have a High School education, he knocked her up and I believe that he was forced to marry her. I've always fantasized about him and felt like I could have him for myself. I've hoped but never done much about changing it.
The long silence from me put еще pressure on the mood and as I look back at him, our eyes meet and he knows that there's something on my mind.
"What are Ты thinking about?" he asks, subtly, quietly.
I was contemplating on whether или not to tell him the truth или to lie and tell him that my life is all happy go lucky. I look at him, try to see past his beautiful brown eyes, but all I get are the eyes.
I go on to say something, then bite my lip to stop myself.
"Come on, say it. I won't be mad," he assures me.
Still contemplating, I tell him without thinking, in fast mode; "I hooked up with my teacher last night." And before I can stop myself, his mouth drops and it all comes spewing out; "I don't even know when we decided to do it, Nick. It just happened, everything was so fast and now it's such a blur. Had my first drink, I got drunk. I became stupid, God . . . and now that's all that I'm seeing. It's replaying again and again in my head." I say and when I notice that I'm crying, that I'm crying so hard, I'm shaking. I stop and Nick moves his body closer to me. I feel his arms заворачивать, обертывание around my shoulders as he cradles me in his lap. He's shushing me, telling me that "everything's going to be okay" and to "calm down". I cuddle into his embrace and he leans back to pull me even closer to him.
I've always thought about this moment, about him holding me like this, but I never imagined our conversation before this to be what it was. In my daydreams, the conversation would be on the path of Любовь and how we feel about each other, not that I made out with my teacher and that he was the base to why I got drunk. I let him hold me and silently wish that he'll never let go. I cry softly and when I start blabbing again, he quickly tells me to "Be quiet and that everything is going to be okay".
He pulls me closer to him and I feel him softly Kiss my head. As much as my stomach hurts right now, it just did a cartwheel, in a good way . . . Бабочки are near. He pulls me completely on him, in his lap and pulls my arms around his shoulders, my head in his chest. As much as this is making me happy, it makes me even sadder when I start thinking about who was around me last night. I let out a loud gasp at that thought and he pulls back to look at me, "He touched me, Nick, but . . . I let him," I cry out.
"Sweetheart, it's not your fault, you’re not to blame. God, I'm going to. . ." he mumbles the end and I'm crying so loud, I can't hear him. My mouth feels dirty all of a sudden, thinking about my teachers' ugly, old lips on mine. But I can't deceive Nick and Kiss him only because of something that is completely my fault. But really, I've always wanted to Kiss him. To have his lips wrapped around mine, my hands in his hair. . .
I wipe some tears from my eyes and look up at his face; the face that's looking down at me with complete and udder worry. I close my eyes so I don't have to see the car crash as I lean my face into his. Our lips brush and I feel his eyelashes brush against my cheeks as he pulls away briefly then leans back in and our lips go back together. He maneuvers our bodies and his body falls on mine, mine on the couch. My legs automatically latch around his waist, not wanting him to be far from me. I run my fingers swiftly across his cheek, while my cheeks are still stained with tears. His lips wet mine over and over and then the phone rings. My eyes open when his does and he looks at me in defeat. He rolls his eyes and I untangle my legs away from him as he stands up and Ответы the phone;
"Hello?" he asks, perturbed. He waits, "Yes Mrs. Lewis, she's here," pause, "Ummm. . ." he ponders, and “We're watching a movie." he says."Of course, I'll have her back in three hours tops," he laughs. "Well, it's a long movie. . ." he tries."Yes, I'll feed her." he nods. "Okay, bye." He shakes his head when he puts the receiver down.
I clear my throat and look down at the floor. I can't believe we nearly jumped each other's Кости in the first half час I've been here. He rounds the corner of the couchs' arm and sits Далее to me. He looks at me and bites his bottom lip, raises his hand up to my face. He kisses my mouth once еще and I pull on his воротник so our Kiss won't break. He stands up with me attached at his lips and walks us backwards towards the guest room to lay down flat on the bed. At least I hope it's the guest room, it doesn't look like anyones slept in it since we had the house two years ago.
He pulls me on вверх of him and never let’s go of my lips. His right hand trails down my side to the end of my рубашка and he pulls it off as he rolls us over so he's toppling over me. We let go of each other's lips and open our eyes; I want to smile at him and tell him I've fantasized about his moment so many times in my head, but I let his eyes speak to me and I lift my face up to his, our lips lock.
The Далее thing I know, is I'm Рапунцель - Запутанная история up in Nick's arms, our legs intertwined and neither of us have any clothes on. My head is sweating and my hand is caressing his hair. His chin is in the crook of my breasts and the tips of his lips on my neck. We are both breathing loudly but I'm trying to keep mine sustained. Nick quickly jostles in my arms and turns away from me, I was nervous and thought I did something wrong but when he said, "Oh shit, I was supposed to have Ты Главная half and час ago," then I panic.
We both stand up quickly and then realize we have nothing on to cover up . . . our unmentionables, so we just quickly throw on our clothes. Oh how much I would have loved to wear his oversized t-shirt and my panties and stay there the rest of the night with him, but my parents would suspect something and so would Lexi when she comes home. I take his hand when we've dressed and he pulls me through the front door and out to his little Saturn. He speds along the two blocks back to our house when I realize I'd left my куртка at his house.
"It's not like it's even that cold outside," I say, mostly to myself.
"That spring chill is still in the air though," he says, stopping in front of my yard. "Well, we're already late," he ponders. "Here," he pulls one arm, then the other and hands me his hoodie.
"Oh, no. I couldn't." I say.
"Oh yes Ты can; I insist." he tells me, a shy smile tearing at his lips. He wraps the sweater around my shoulders and shuts off the car, turning the lights off too. He leans over to my side of the car and our lips meet. We don't stay there for too long like both of us would like, или my parents would suspect even more, so he quickly tells me to call him later and I shut the car door. I look back at him before opening the door. I hear his car start up and he pulls out of the drive, speeding down the street.
"Shut the door, Grace! It's freezing out there!" mom yells from the kitchen.
I round the corner from the living room into the кухня and see dad sitting there on the counter reading, mom doing the dishes. He doesn't look up from his newspaper and mom doesn't turn around from the sink.
"What took Ты so long to come home?" dad asks quietly, still looking at his newspaper.
"Uh..." I think for a секунда back to Nick's naked body. "The movie was so great; we had to watch the special features." I lie.
"Oh, well okay. Ты never really seemed to have been..." mom pauses, looking for the right word, "friends with Nick."
"He's a good guy, really funny. Yeah he's a friend." I say then do a fake yawn and cover my mouth with a hand. "Ahh... I think I'll go to bed. Long day." I lie again.
"All right, sweetie." mom says, finally turning around.
I hug her and Kiss dad's head.
"Goodnight everybody!" I yell down the hallway.
"'Night Grace," Dad yells.
"Love you."
I close my bedroom door and collapse on my bed. I close my eyes and go back to the bedroom with Nick. He took my virginity, that'll always be ours. But will we have any other memories? Some еще fantasies that come true to make my head spin? I'm happy that Nick and I had that, that we'll always have that. But my inner person is telling me that being in two different affairs in less than twenty-four hours isn't the best thing for me. Even if I don't believe in that marriage, it's still wrong, but god, does is feel so right when I'm with him; His lips on mine, his body on mine. It feels right; it feels like that's the way it was supposed to be.
I told someone once,
"You are alone".
The person refused to agree,
"Why?",
"What for?",
"Why should i be told I'm alone"
Those were the words most probably flowing through the fellas mind at the time,
Think of it,
Stop,
Take a deep breath,
Think again,
Who were Ты with the last second?,
You, yourself and you,right?,
Look around you,
Are Ты sure this is where Ты want to be?,
I look,
Right now,
And,you know what I see?,
No one.
Nada Nada person,
Well that's my own language, forget it.
There's no one there,
But I do what I do best,
Suffer in silence.
"You are alone".
The person refused to agree,
"Why?",
"What for?",
"Why should i be told I'm alone"
Those were the words most probably flowing through the fellas mind at the time,
Think of it,
Stop,
Take a deep breath,
Think again,
Who were Ты with the last second?,
You, yourself and you,right?,
Look around you,
Are Ты sure this is where Ты want to be?,
I look,
Right now,
And,you know what I see?,
No one.
Nada Nada person,
Well that's my own language, forget it.
There's no one there,
But I do what I do best,
Suffer in silence.
Syayuki Kimihiro,is a normal Japaneses high school girl trying to find her place and make friends,but when she was 5 she was taken from her home,she has many nightmares about this event even after 11 years,These nightmares consist of demons monsters and gargoyles.Her family says that it's normal sines she was found unconscious with no memories of this horrible event,now she has episodes where she has excruciating chest pain till she falls unconscious.Her mother being a doctor was able to make a vaccine for her but it only works for one day.Suddenly four new students appear making her episodes and nightmares worse.As if that's not bad enough now there are strange marks on her left wrist that hurt like hell.Do these new students have something to do with it and why is the leader constantly flirting with her?
Feel like falling,
but sure to stand fast.
Feel like letting go,
but afraid of the rash,
Feel like giving up,
but afraid to sleep,
Want to jump,
but afraid to of falling off way to deep.
Sometimes life takes me in weird directions,
but knowing me, its all imperfections.
Sometimes emotions облако every single thought,
and knowing my actions, I’m here to rot.
Forever will my mistakes continue to haunt me,
standing here, I now see.
What if things could be different Далее time?
Would it then, take a lifetime?
but sure to stand fast.
Feel like letting go,
but afraid of the rash,
Feel like giving up,
but afraid to sleep,
Want to jump,
but afraid to of falling off way to deep.
Sometimes life takes me in weird directions,
but knowing me, its all imperfections.
Sometimes emotions облако every single thought,
and knowing my actions, I’m here to rot.
Forever will my mistakes continue to haunt me,
standing here, I now see.
What if things could be different Далее time?
Would it then, take a lifetime?