These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually сказал(-а) in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are Ты sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your дата of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: What gear were Ты in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget....