From an email I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, Ты must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for еще than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless Ты actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free пиво in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...

More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and Ты need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five минуты is only five минуты if Ты have just been дана five еще минуты to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and Ты should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...

I didn't write this. I got it in an email and it made me smile!!
Sorry guys, I just had to post it! :P


The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN дана LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD...

Another email I got and ABSOLUTELY ADORE.

To the nice guys left:

To every guy that regrets hurting или losing her.

To every guy who knows which girl he wants.

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy TO DRIVE across town (or across the STATE) (or across the country) to see HER.

To every guy that gives her Цветы and a card when she’s sick.

To every guy who has дана her Цветы just because.

To every guy that сказал(-а) he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her....

Here’s another email guys! LOL Enjoy!!

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine или feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher трещина, сплит the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine или a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that...