I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, Ты know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. Ты throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. Ты wear at least some black every day.

3. Ты rip your clothes on purpose.

4. Ты call people Ты don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. Ты yell "CRUCIO!" at people when Ты get mad.

6. Ты carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" или an "L", Ты accidentally type out a Bellatrix или a Lestrange instead.

9. Ты think her birthday should...

Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate Далее to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him Ты украл, палантин his teddy bear.

8. Tell him Ты won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him Ты were just kidding and сказал(-а) teddy медведь has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...

A handy-dandy Wikihow Статья on how to make a horcrux, for all Ты aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there!
Credit: wikihow.com

1. Become an extremely powerful witch или wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide Ты should not attempt to create a horcrux until Ты can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from...