Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s еще to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do Ты mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call Ты Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would Ты describe your relationship with the man known as...

Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought Ты guys might too, :)
And yeah, it's not ALL Death Eaters, but they're all Slytherins, :P

Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow звезда indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer...

I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, Ты know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. Ты throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. Ты wear at least some black every day.

3. Ты rip your clothes on purpose.

4. Ты call people Ты don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. Ты yell "CRUCIO!" at people when Ты get mad.

6. Ты carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" или an "L", Ты accidentally type out a Bellatrix или a Lestrange instead.

9. Ты think her birthday should...

Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate Далее to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him Ты украл, палантин his teddy bear.

8. Tell him Ты won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him Ты were just kidding and сказал(-а) teddy медведь has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...

Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.


1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, Ты got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than Ты look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for Ты now!!" *Prepare yourself by getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did Ты say something?"

5. "Why do you...