Me, Myself, and I
By Rita Skeeter
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s еще to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
RS: Hello!
BL: *growls*
RS: Do Ты mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?
BL: What’s that?
*fingers wand handle threateningly*
RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call Ты Bella?
BL: No.
RS: How would Ты describe your relationship with the man known as Lord Voldemort
*Bellatrix turns pink, then regains composture*
BL: I am his most loyal follower! I, who spent years in Azkaban for him!
RS: Riiiiight, I’m sure that was a real big help, now-
*Bellatrix reaches for wand again*
BL: Do Ты doubt me, Ты FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!
RS: uh, no, of course not, now, what would Ты say is your Избранное spell?
BL: CRUCIO!! Would Ты like a demonstration?
*Bellatrix laughs evilly and reaches for wand again*
RS: No need for that, now, er, why do Ты like it so much?
BL: It’s so much fun to cause innocent people pain! HAHAHA! And I give filthy mudbloods and half-bloods what they deserve. *cackles evilly* I also like Avada Kedavra, but not as much since it doesn’t actually cause people insufferable pain, *Cackles again*.
RS: *uncomfortably* Right, er, moving on, how do Ты feel before going out on missions for the Dark Lord? Uncomfortable? Excited? Guilty?
*Bellatrix leans вперед and looks at my Письмо pad*
BL: I CAN be nice! Like if someone begs me to kill them it’s not like I ignore that altogether reasonable request!
RS: Okay, moving on again, what are your main goals in life?
BL: To torture as many innocent people as possible, especially filthy mudbloods, kill muggles, do the Dark Lords bidding, make out with the Dark Lor-er, nothing
*Bellatrix turns pink*
RS: Mmmhmm, very interesting, now, how do Ты feel about the way J.K. Rowling has written about Ты in the Harry Potter Books? Do Ты feel she has done Ты justice?
BL: I HATE THE STUPID TITLE! The series should be called something еще like “The Dark Lords quest for blood purification and the filthy half-blood idiot who stood in his way and eventually died a painful death”
RS: Hmmm, and how do Ты feel about your death at the hands of Molly Weasley?
BL: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT! THAT STUPID HALF-BLOOD-FILTHY-BLOOD-TRAITOR-FAT-UNTALENTED-SEVEN-KIDS-UGLY-HOUSEWITCH DID NOT DESERVE TO KILL ME! THE DARK LORD MOST LOYAL FOLLOWER! I COULD DEFEAT HER WITH MY WAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!
*As I was running for my life, I was forced to conclude my highly informative interview with Bellatrix Lestrange*
By Rita Skeeter
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s еще to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
RS: Hello!
BL: *growls*
RS: Do Ты mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?
BL: What’s that?
*fingers wand handle threateningly*
RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call Ты Bella?
BL: No.
RS: How would Ты describe your relationship with the man known as Lord Voldemort
*Bellatrix turns pink, then regains composture*
BL: I am his most loyal follower! I, who spent years in Azkaban for him!
RS: Riiiiight, I’m sure that was a real big help, now-
*Bellatrix reaches for wand again*
BL: Do Ты doubt me, Ты FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!
RS: uh, no, of course not, now, what would Ты say is your Избранное spell?
BL: CRUCIO!! Would Ты like a demonstration?
*Bellatrix laughs evilly and reaches for wand again*
RS: No need for that, now, er, why do Ты like it so much?
BL: It’s so much fun to cause innocent people pain! HAHAHA! And I give filthy mudbloods and half-bloods what they deserve. *cackles evilly* I also like Avada Kedavra, but not as much since it doesn’t actually cause people insufferable pain, *Cackles again*.
RS: *uncomfortably* Right, er, moving on, how do Ты feel before going out on missions for the Dark Lord? Uncomfortable? Excited? Guilty?
*Bellatrix leans вперед and looks at my Письмо pad*
BL: I CAN be nice! Like if someone begs me to kill them it’s not like I ignore that altogether reasonable request!
RS: Okay, moving on again, what are your main goals in life?
BL: To torture as many innocent people as possible, especially filthy mudbloods, kill muggles, do the Dark Lords bidding, make out with the Dark Lor-er, nothing
*Bellatrix turns pink*
RS: Mmmhmm, very interesting, now, how do Ты feel about the way J.K. Rowling has written about Ты in the Harry Potter Books? Do Ты feel she has done Ты justice?
BL: I HATE THE STUPID TITLE! The series should be called something еще like “The Dark Lords quest for blood purification and the filthy half-blood idiot who stood in his way and eventually died a painful death”
RS: Hmmm, and how do Ты feel about your death at the hands of Molly Weasley?
BL: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT! THAT STUPID HALF-BLOOD-FILTHY-BLOOD-TRAITOR-FAT-UNTALENTED-SEVEN-KIDS-UGLY-HOUSEWITCH DID NOT DESERVE TO KILL ME! THE DARK LORD MOST LOYAL FOLLOWER! I COULD DEFEAT HER WITH MY WAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!
*As I was running for my life, I was forced to conclude my highly informative interview with Bellatrix Lestrange*
"For nearly two months, we've all been doing prosthetic tests and all sorts of preparation for the epilogue," Felton said. "I've been having some aging training. You've got to walk differently. There's a slump in your walk."
Felton notes they have someone who comes in to teach them how to be old and that they were told to imagine they had weights on their arms.
"We're probably at the most exciting bit," he said. "Certainly the part I've been most looking вперед to. It's going to be very exciting."