write here some funny quotes...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can пересекать, крест the road and not be questioned about their motives.

When I сказал(-а) 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically.

Putting the laughter back into manslaughter.

When shooting a mime, don't use a silencer или his Друзья will hear you.

Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
Can a огонь truck park in the огонь lane?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

They say life is hard but a brick is harder.

"Somebody looks at u, then u r sexy"

"When somebody annoys u, it takes 42 muscles in ur face to frown. But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm and slap that MUTHERFUCKER"

"Someone hates u with no reason? Give that Motherfucker a reason!"

Любовь those XD

"OH, F**K!! AN ONCOMING TRAIN!!"

Uh, yeah.

Out of mind,will be back in 5 минуты - me

Don't bring a nife to a gun fight.
Ты can lead a horse to drink, but Ты can't make it water.

When in doubt, shut the fuck up.
Everyone has a brain, it's just that they don't know how to fucking use it.
Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out because I have no time to argue with you.

Your grandma is dead.

(This isn't wrong if Ты know the story behind it...)

Life is short and so is your penis.