Ответить на этот вопрос

Болталка Вопрос

can any body look at my story for me and Комментарий what Ты think and if Ты would read a секунда chapter?[there is a link in the details]

here is the link the name of it is eternal love:


link
 lilred96 posted Больше года
next question »

Болталка Ответы

samlover316 said:
Okay, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get through the first paragraph of this story because of the appalling amount of spelling and grammatical errors in it. There aren't even spaces between the punctuation marks, and Ты use the wrong "to". What grade must Ты be in to not have learned which "to" to use? Your sentences are run-ons and they have little relevancy. There is no flow to your story; it's just choppy and uninteresting. I would suggest that Ты use Microsoft Word to rewrite this (spell-check) and possibly your mom или English teacher. I wouldn't really want to read another chapter of this. Plus, it sounds just like Twilight. Except much, much worse. I'm sorry if you're offended by this, but it just isn't very good. I didn't want to sugarcoat it. I'm sure it could be a very good story, if maybe Ты asked for help from an adult или older sibling. Again, sorry, but as someone once said: "Lies never help anything, not in the long run, anyway. It's better to make an honest mess and clean it up." или something like that, sorry, I don't have the quote in front of me. But Ты should definitely give it another go, just make sure Ты Редактировать your work.
select as best answer
posted Больше года 
next question »