This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern день issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Любовь или hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years назад were blacks дана the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married или adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube или in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, или in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in Любовь should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no еще discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of Совет is welcome, as long as Ты aren't telling me to jump off a cliff или anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Любовь или hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years назад were blacks дана the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married или adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube или in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, или in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in Любовь should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no еще discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of Совет is welcome, as long as Ты aren't telling me to jump off a cliff или anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
Preferably shouted.
"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW
AND FAT, WHAT DO Ты WEIGH
HA-HA-HA-HA
Ты CAN’T FUCKING SING
I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT
GET OUT MY WAY Ты HO
I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT
OH!
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
OVER BODIES EVERY день (HEY)
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
сука WHAT DID I SAY
RUN THAT жопа, попка CUZ Ты CAN’T HIDE
FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."
--
Happy Holidays~
"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW
AND FAT, WHAT DO Ты WEIGH
HA-HA-HA-HA
Ты CAN’T FUCKING SING
I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT
GET OUT MY WAY Ты HO
I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT
OH!
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
OVER BODIES EVERY день (HEY)
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
сука WHAT DID I SAY
RUN THAT жопа, попка CUZ Ты CAN’T HIDE
FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."
--
Happy Holidays~
What I'm gonna post is something for fun. In other ways, we sometimes find that true between most of husbands and wives.
-A short conversation between husband and his wife.
Check out the first день after the wedding.
Husband: Wow! finally my dream will come true.
Wife: Do Ты want me to leave you?
Husband: Noo! don't say that again.
Wife: Do Ты Любовь me?
Husband: Suuuure.
Wife: So, do Ты think that one день Ты may leave me?
Husband: Of course not.
Wife: Okay, can Ты Kiss me *blushes*?
Husband: Of course, also on your face (cheek).
Wife: Do Ты think that Ты may перфоратор, удар, пунш me one day?
Husband: Noway.
Wife: Can I trust you?
Husband: yeah.
Wife: Darling.
-Now read the conversation from the below to the вверх in order to know what happened after one year.
Have fun. ;D
-A short conversation between husband and his wife.
Check out the first день after the wedding.
Husband: Wow! finally my dream will come true.
Wife: Do Ты want me to leave you?
Husband: Noo! don't say that again.
Wife: Do Ты Любовь me?
Husband: Suuuure.
Wife: So, do Ты think that one день Ты may leave me?
Husband: Of course not.
Wife: Okay, can Ты Kiss me *blushes*?
Husband: Of course, also on your face (cheek).
Wife: Do Ты think that Ты may перфоратор, удар, пунш me one day?
Husband: Noway.
Wife: Can I trust you?
Husband: yeah.
Wife: Darling.
-Now read the conversation from the below to the вверх in order to know what happened after one year.
Have fun. ;D
I originally got this in a forwarded text, and I thought I'd pass it along. The premise of it is just about girls and best Друзья and how we're always there for each other no matter what.
Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]
To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the Далее morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.
Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]
To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the Далее morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The секунда one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".
They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The секунда one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".