Here are my Список of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let Ты know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything или eating anything Ты might spit it или something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the метла late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the бухта, залив they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's Избранное vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the гриб have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do Ты call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do Ты call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do Ты make an octopus giggle ten times?
Ты give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do Ты make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's Избранное composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between Ты and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't Ты hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher сказал(-а) it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the помидор blush?
It saw the салат dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do Ты know if it's raining Кошки and dogs?
Ты step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do Ты know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do Ты get Пикачу on a bus?
Ты Покемон (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't Ты dress with Пикачу in the room?
He'll Пикачу (peek at you)
#27 What do Ты call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
Ты boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton пересекать, крест the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do Ты call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's розовый and fluffy?
розовый fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
розовый fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when Ты drink 7 coca colas?
Ты burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the рыба say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't Ты trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope Ты liked them. Make sure Ты check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything или eating anything Ты might spit it или something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the метла late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the бухта, залив they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's Избранное vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the гриб have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do Ты call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do Ты call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do Ты make an octopus giggle ten times?
Ты give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do Ты make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's Избранное composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between Ты and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't Ты hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher сказал(-а) it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the помидор blush?
It saw the салат dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do Ты know if it's raining Кошки and dogs?
Ты step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do Ты know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do Ты get Пикачу on a bus?
Ты Покемон (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't Ты dress with Пикачу in the room?
He'll Пикачу (peek at you)
#27 What do Ты call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
Ты boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton пересекать, крест the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do Ты call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's розовый and fluffy?
розовый fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
розовый fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when Ты drink 7 coca colas?
Ты burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the рыба say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't Ты trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope Ты liked them. Make sure Ты check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
It is 131.5 meters high, 57 meters wide and 60 meters deep. It is located close to Zhangjiajie city in western Hunan Province, China and is part of Wulingyuan Scenic Area - a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top.
The whole area is very scenic and was not easily accessible. However Tianmen Mountain Cableway - reportedly the longest passenger cableway in the World with a length of 7200 meters and a height gap of 1277 meters, now brings thousands of tourists to this natural wonder.
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
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Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris can Удалить the Recycling Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris can strangle Ты with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once had a сердце attack; his сердце lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)