Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting Далее to her turns to her and says, “Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it’s going to shatter. Ты oughta put a bag on that baby’s head. That baby is just ugly.”
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conductor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give Ты a nice сиденье, место, сиденья in the first-class carriage — and a банан for your monkey.”
Guy in a библиотека walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a чизбургер and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, Ты know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a чизбургер and fries, please.”
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting — don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After ужин the father asks, “Now, son, what did Ты want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what Ты see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do Ты deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, Ты idiot, it means that somebody украл, палантин our tent.”
During a cold winter день a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!
Patient: Doctor, please can Ты help me out?
Doctor: Yes, Ты may make your way out the same way Ты come in.
Teacher: John, tell me your дата of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!
What is the difference between a teacher and train?
A teacher always says “spit your gum”, while the train says “chew chew chew…”!
What will be a Math teacher’s Избранное dish?
Pi!
Sam called helpdesk to solve his computer issue.
Helpdesk: “Sir click on “my computer” Иконка to the left of computer screen”
Sam: “my left или your left?”!
AND ONE еще FOR APPRECIATING MY Назад ARTICLE
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are Ты at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if Ты like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new2006 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$68,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one еще thing….The house we wanted last год is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
$900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see Ты later! I Любовь you!”
MAN: “Bye, I Любовь you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: “Does anyone know whose phone this is?
WILL TRY TO POST еще LATER!
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conductor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give Ты a nice сиденье, место, сиденья in the first-class carriage — and a банан for your monkey.”
Guy in a библиотека walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a чизбургер and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, Ты know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a чизбургер and fries, please.”
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting — don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After ужин the father asks, “Now, son, what did Ты want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what Ты see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do Ты deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, Ты idiot, it means that somebody украл, палантин our tent.”
During a cold winter день a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!
Patient: Doctor, please can Ты help me out?
Doctor: Yes, Ты may make your way out the same way Ты come in.
Teacher: John, tell me your дата of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!
What is the difference between a teacher and train?
A teacher always says “spit your gum”, while the train says “chew chew chew…”!
What will be a Math teacher’s Избранное dish?
Pi!
Sam called helpdesk to solve his computer issue.
Helpdesk: “Sir click on “my computer” Иконка to the left of computer screen”
Sam: “my left или your left?”!
AND ONE еще FOR APPRECIATING MY Назад ARTICLE
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are Ты at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if Ты like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new2006 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$68,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one еще thing….The house we wanted last год is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
$900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see Ты later! I Любовь you!”
MAN: “Bye, I Любовь you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: “Does anyone know whose phone this is?
WILL TRY TO POST еще LATER!
1: watch an Аниме series Ты think will be cool
2:gymnastics XD idk why but I do flips a L a lot so yeah
3: torcher some one ex: brother sister cousin friend ect.
4:run around for no absolute reason
5:do Insanity, p90X, ZUMBA so on
6: read a book
7:go to the store and freak people out until Ты get kicked out
8: be completely Болталка to the people around you.
9:listen to artists Ты hate a lot and make fun of them
10: be a Watch All Of Jeresy берег for no complete reason
2:gymnastics XD idk why but I do flips a L a lot so yeah
3: torcher some one ex: brother sister cousin friend ect.
4:run around for no absolute reason
5:do Insanity, p90X, ZUMBA so on
6: read a book
7:go to the store and freak people out until Ты get kicked out
8: be completely Болталка to the people around you.
9:listen to artists Ты hate a lot and make fun of them
10: be a Watch All Of Jeresy берег for no complete reason