Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If Ты think you're fat, Ты probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If Ты ask a Вопрос Ты don't want an answer to, expect an
answer Ты don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless Ты are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Собаки are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon или the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything Ты wear is fine. Really.
13. Ты have enough clothes.
14. Ты have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if Ты must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what Ты want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what день it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is еще difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes Ты think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we сказал(-а) 6 или 8 months назад is inadmissible in an
argument. All Комментарии become null and void after 7 days.
30. If Ты don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we сказал(-а) can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes Ты sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty Ты are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if Ты don't want the genie to come out.
34. Ты can either ask us to do something или tell us how Ты want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever Ты have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
Ты do.
39. Telling us that the Модели in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes Ты look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from Чтение the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
1. If Ты think you're fat, Ты probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If Ты ask a Вопрос Ты don't want an answer to, expect an
answer Ты don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless Ты are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Собаки are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon или the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything Ты wear is fine. Really.
13. Ты have enough clothes.
14. Ты have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if Ты must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what Ты want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what день it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is еще difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes Ты think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we сказал(-а) 6 или 8 months назад is inadmissible in an
argument. All Комментарии become null and void after 7 days.
30. If Ты don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we сказал(-а) can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes Ты sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty Ты are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if Ты don't want the genie to come out.
34. Ты can either ask us to do something или tell us how Ты want it done- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever Ты have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
Ты do.
39. Telling us that the Модели in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes Ты look jealous and petty and it's
certainly not going to deter us from Чтение the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.
If this offended any Girls throughout this‚ i'm sorry... but us girls should know this
I originally got this in a forwarded text, and I thought I'd pass it along. The premise of it is just about girls and best Друзья and how we're always there for each other no matter what.
Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]
To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the Далее morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.
Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]
To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the Далее morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The секунда one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".
They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The секунда one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".
So I am Письмо what I see people generally do when Ты stay the night with a friend. Sorry besties, but most of Ты do this. This also applies to siblings.
1. Play your Музыка even if they don't like it.
2. Ignore them by Чтение manga, texting, или stay on the computer
3. sing silly songs that make them mad then act surprised when they yell
4. leave the room every 10 minutes.
5. Don't answer their questions
6. take embarrassing pictures of them as they sleep
7. Act like a psychopath for fun and make them scream then laugh.
8. Be random
9. Laugh at weird times.
1. Play your Музыка even if they don't like it.
2. Ignore them by Чтение manga, texting, или stay on the computer
3. sing silly songs that make them mad then act surprised when they yell
4. leave the room every 10 minutes.
5. Don't answer their questions
6. take embarrassing pictures of them as they sleep
7. Act like a psychopath for fun and make them scream then laugh.
8. Be random
9. Laugh at weird times.