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posted by akaneikegami
The following are actual examples from Children's Essays I have read. The Письмо prompt was: tell a story about a Остаться в живых puppy. The children involved were from 3rd to 6th Grade. Enjoy.

Recess. All the calm the kids kept during school was let out with squeals, screams and running wildly about.

We went out to the playground. I watched in disgust as Erica took a big bite out of her арахис butter, зефир and black оливковый, оливковое sandwich.

Suddenly I hear a little wine and a big кит coming from behind the slide.

We saw a dog that looked Hispanic. He was so dehydrated that he gained five pounds when I spit...
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Actor Zack Золото is rising fast among the web Телевидение industry recently receiving a nomination for ‘Best Male Performance’ in a Comedy by The International Academy of Web Телевидение for his role in “Stockholm.” The IAWTV Awards event serves as a platform for members to honor the best of their profession, so it’s no surprise that Золото was thrilled with the nod which came out of the еще than 470 officially-submitted web series.

Gold is a notable rising actor in Hollywood having held lead roles in six feature films. This past год he was nominated for Best Actor at the Los Angeles...
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 "Act-Anon" - poster
"Act-Anon" - poster
Calling all Actors! No…not for an audition, but instead to check out the hilarious new web series “Act-Anon.”

This fictional saga follows members of a 12-step style program for Друзья and family of actors addicted to their craft. Actress Camille Thornton-Alson created the series based on real-life experiences, but isn’t looking to poke fun at actors…just simply laugh along with them.

Camille adds, "I Любовь actors and our craft. I wanted to create a fun and exciting platform for some newer talent to be seen. And, because it’s directly related to the industry, I thought it would be...
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 "Bad Therapy" - poster
"Bad Therapy" - poster
Looking for ‘Bad Therapy’? Well, I’ve found it!

Actress Kaylee Sapieha is offering up some not-so-sound Совет in her brand new comedy web series, “Bad Therapy.” Based loosely on some real-life experiences and a friend’s mock therapy session as part of a school project, Kaylee proves that not all therapy is equal starring as the problem-creating Therapist, Pipa Whistler. Dealing with some pretty major issues, like alcohol, drug addiction, lying, depression and anxiety, the series offers up something for everyone to laugh about.

Kaylee adds, “I loved working on this project for...
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 "Airport Douchery" - (L-R): Alice Toohey, Sonora Chase, Jennifer Lee Weaver
"Airport Douchery" - (L-R): Alice Toohey, Sonora Chase, Jennifer Lee Weaver
‘Tis the season…for travel nightmares! And, with that actress/creator Sonora Chase has set out to humorously commiserate with anyone heading to the airport this holiday season, launching her new comedy web series “Airport Douchery.” The three part series takes flight on YouTube November 14th, followed by FunnyOrDie.com on November 17th.

In addition to creating her own work, Chase portrayed ‘Betty’ on ABC’s “Romantically Challenged,” worked with legendary director Martin Scorsese for a role on HBO’s “Boardwalk Empire,” and appeared on the NBC series “Chuck.” She was...
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 Matthew Cornwell & Brooke Jaye Taylor in "Becky & Barry: The Series"
Matthew Cornwell & Brooke Jaye Taylor in "Becky & Barry: The Series"
Ever wonder how actors stay so optimistic on the typically bumpy and never-ending road to stardom?

That’s exactly what you’ll explore in the first three seasons of the comedy web series “BECKY & BARRY: THE SERIES.”

The series comes from Atlanta-based creators/ producers/ stars Matthew Cornwell and Brooke Jaye Taylore (a real-life husband and wife), who engaged сойка, джей D Zimmerman to direct the episodes. No doubt some of the antics are based on their actual experiences and they also brought some special guests along for the ride, including Mark Fincannon (North Carolina-based Casting...
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Oops! This poor ABC News anchor probably had no idea how much he resembled the rapist in this news segment!
 A Популярное illustration of Catoast antigravity device (taken from uncyclopedia - creator did not provide his name)
A popular illustration of Catoast antigravity device (taken from uncyclopedia - creator did not provide his name)
Long-standing scientific theory holds that a combination of Murphy's Law ("if something bad can happen, it will"), Finagle's Corollary to Murphy's Law ("if a buttered piece of тост is dropped, it will always land масло, сливочное масло side down") and the old saw that "a cat always lands on its feet" would result in either a perpetual motion device или a method of levitation involving a cat with buttered тост strapped to its back. The theory goes that the two conditions ("the cat will land on its feet" and "the тост will land on the butter") create a conundrum exception to physical laws, since both conditions...
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posted by R33n33sm3
101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Бэтмен theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Друзья in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a видеокамера to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did Ты know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The Далее pupil was the Конфеты Магазин owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did Ты know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," сказал(-а) the teacher.
The Далее gift was from the son of...
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 Taylor Brock
Taylor Brock
Women really can lead a tech company…seriously! And, the new original YouTube web series “NEXT” is out to Показать you.

The series comes from a female team, including actors Taylor Brock, Anne Hallinan and Lisa-Marie Newton, who co-created and звезда in the project. Writer/Director Serena Shulman first developed the concept, which she based on her own experiences in the tech industry.

I recently caught up with Taylor Brock to find out еще about “Next.”


Give us an overview of your new project “NEXT, the web series.”

TAYLOR: Далее chronicles what happens as the male-dominated tech world...
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" сказал(-а) the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he сказал(-а) he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he сказал(-а) everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
2) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour.
3) Improvise Italian operas.
4) Gossip about someone to their face.
5) Answer every Вопрос with a question.
6) Repeat yourself constantly.
7) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
8) Repeat yourself constantly.
9) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
10) Repeat yourself constantly.
11) Change what Ты repeat every now and then.
12) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
13) Change what Ты repeat every now and then.
14) Talk...
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Face it, we all feel sleepy the moment we enter the office premises. But what if your boss caught Ты sleeping at your desk? Here is what Ты can tell him:

• "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
• "This is just a 15 минута power-nap as described in that time management course Ты sent me."
• "Whew! Guess I left the вверх off the White-Out Ты probably got here just in time!"
• "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
• "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
• "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
• "Damn! Why did Ты interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
• "The coffee machine is broken..."
• "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
• " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."