My life had a BAD BEGINNING,
Ever since, a snake killed my Father in the REPTILE ROOM.
I was so miserble I tried to kill myself by jumping out of THE WIDE WINDOW.
But my Mother stopped me, and we went to live in a MISERBLE MILL.
I hated it so much I was sent to the Austere Academy.
One day, my sister died, falling down the ERATZ ELAVATOR.
So we went to live in THE VILE VILLIAGE, trying to escape from the place of woe.
Soon my Mother got sick and had to be rushed to the HOSTILE HOSPITAL.
Me and my brother were so miserble we went to stay at the CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL.
But my brother fell off the SLIPPERY SLOPE and died.
I had Остаться в живых all my family so I tried to drown myself in THE GRIM GROTTO.
But suddenly, when all seemed Остаться в живых I found The PENULTIMATE PERIL which could raise the dead.
So that was THE END to all my troubles.