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PART FOUR:

Okay. Okay. I am a perfectly calm boy yes. That’s it. I will make myself forget what has just happened. There. All good. I forgot. (OH HERE LET ME HELP: HARRY, Ты JUST SET A SNAKE ON THAT JUSTIN FLICKEY KID AND NOW THE ENTIRE SCHOOL THINKS YOURE THE AIR OF SLYTHERIN!!!! ) Oh yeah. Thank Ты Emily. (YOURE WELCOME ) anyways because Emily is so eager to talk I should just let her share her point of view on things. Oh and Emily, its spelled h-e-i-r not a-i-r. A-i-r is what your head is full of. ( FINE, AND BTW Ты OWE ME A GALLION FOR THAT SMILEY. ANYWAYS, PEACE IS Актёрское искусство FUNNY, SHES ALL "HEY ARENT WE GOING TO HAVE DINNER?" AND IM ALL "WE JUST ATE" IT’S REALLY STRANGE. SNAPES A JERK. I DONT KNOW I JUST FELT LIKE Письмо THAT. ANYWAYS I HAVE A FEELING THAT PEACE IS BEHIND THE ATTACKS, BUT EVEREYTIME I ASK HER, SHE DENIES IT. BUT I KNOW BETTER. SHE GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK.QUIDDICH TOMORROW.) Oh yeah I forgot. Help! Help! The team did something that they are really are really going to regret: they made Emily a beater! I know your thinking "oh good Emily’s on the team" but it isn’t! Ты see, they trusted Emily with a bat for two hours straight! That is suicide! (YEAH...... and if that bludger goes anywhere near harry, they are going to need a new bludger ANYWAYS BYE!!!!!)
(EMILY! ) and harry








I MISSED DINNER. I MISSED DINNER. I swear. I was right on time. I woke up in the slytherin common room, felt hungry, walked down stairs, and bumped in to Emily. I сказал(-а) "where are Ты going." "Our common room." "Aren’t Ты coming to dinner?" "We just ate dinner." сказал(-а) harry. Emily added. "Its over." "ITS OVER" I yelled. And now I am back here feeling sorry for my self. Do Ты feel sorry for me tom? Do Ты tom? TOM?!?!?!?!

Yes.
Good. Because I am uber angry. I skipped lunch because I wasn't hungry. Now I am Soooo hungry. Ты wouldn't like me when I am hungry. GAAAA!!!! I need food.
Sorry.

Why are Ты sorry? Ты don’t need to be sorry its not Ты fault.
I had the impression it was.
Why?
Because Ты were with me before that.

OH YEAH.
Yep.
Well in that case I am not talking to you.
Dear diary,
me and Draco kissed a lot today. I talked to tom today. I hate tom. Tom is a jerk. HE MADE ME MISS DINNER.

<3
~peace.
<3
I am hungry.
GAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!










(HELP!!!!! HELP!!!!!!! OK, OK, BE COOL EMILY. BE COOL. OKAY NOT COOL! OKAY, SO HERMIONIE WAS HEADING TO THE LIBRARY, AND I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER, AND SHE FORGOT HER MIRRIOR!!! SO OBVIOUSLY, I WENT AFTER HER, AND AS I ROUNDED THE CORNER I BUMPED INTO ROSALIE HALE AND SHE WAS ALL "HEY COOL A MIRRIOR" AND SHE WONT GIVE IT BACK TO ME AND IM FREAKIN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




OH NO. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. AW DANG HERMIONIE IS SO GOING TO OWE ME. WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE MUGGLE BORN? I MEAN I REGRET IT HERE, I REGRET IT IN THE SEVENTH-OH CRAP HERE COMES THE SNAKE "HEY NO LEGS, OVER HERE!" OH GOD I HOPE I CAN RUN FAST.

EMILY)







Dear tom (STILL IGNORING YOU),
I bumped into Emily and Rosalie in the hallway... Emily looked mad. She was yelling, "GIVE ME BACK MY MIRROR!!!" Rosalie was like, "no way. We evil slytherin brats need to know how good we look. So I continued walking to the ghost’s (sorry I forgot her name) bathroom. Then Emily ran to me and asked. "Where are Ты going." so I сказал(-а) what I was doing. (I never lie >=]) "I am going to meet tom in the bathroom." then she was all like, "WHATT!!!!" then she choked me. And strangled me. And then Draco came!!!!(Jealous much?) He hit Emily and knocked her out. The he kissed me. Then he took the mirror from Rosalie and stared into it for a long time. Then I ran to the bathroom because nobody was watching. I blacked out again. When I came back Rosalie was Холодное сердце and so was granger-girl. Emily was balled up in a corner crying and Draco was in fetal position rocking back and forth in shock. I screamed and ran to Draco. I fell head over heels tumbling towards him. I blacked out again. Is it just me или do bad things happen whenever I go to the bathroom to meet you? Is this all my fault? What is going on?
Peace. Ты are doing this. Go to Hagrid’s hut today. Kill all of his chickens. Put the blood in a bottle. Bring it back to me. Then we will write on the walls a ransom note. We will rule the wizarding world Peace. Me and You. I Tom Riddle. I lord Voldemort!!! MWAHAHAHA...
Whoa. What? Lord Voldemort? OMG I have always wanted to meet you. I will do what ever Ты want your highness.
Well then do what I said. And uh. Hurry.
KK BYE!!!!





( Draco's dead. Peace is deader. I will kill them both. NOBODY knocks me out and lives. I was so right. Go me. And the worst part is, I CANT TELL ANYBODY! I am depressed. When peace blacked out, I kicked Draco in the head and he blacked out to. I will make a pact right now that says that a Malfoy ((or anything related )) will never knock me unconscious EVER again. And if they try, I will kill them. Now I g2g get Harry and Ron to come down to the chamber with me. I am taking Edward.

EMILY)




Kill chickens: check
Go to bathroom: walking there
.
.
.
HERE!
Do Ты have the blood?
Yes. But-
Now walk out of the bathroom
Done and-
Now what I tell you.
What?
I'm thinking!
...
Write 'Her body will rot in the chamber forever.'
Ooo! That’s catchy how did Ты come up with that? Who is 'Her'?
Ты will soon find out now write. And come back I will be waiting for you.







Okay, harry here, so first L will fill Ты in on Aragog. In Hagrid’s hut Emily actually came in with Dumbledore with the excuse of ’I’m his assistant' the minister of magic actually fell for it. (FAIL!!! ) Yes thank Ты Emily. Anywa- (OOH OOH I WANT TO TELL THIS PART!!!! OKAY, SO WHEN LUCIUS SAYS "I HAVE NO PLEASOURE BEING IN YOUR-YOU CALL THIS A HOUSE?" K, SO Ты KNOW I CAN’T TAKE THAT LYING DOWN, SO I SAID: "YEAH, WELL I DONT HAVE ANY PLEASURE BEING IN YOURS EITHER. NICE DUNGON BY THE WAY." WASNT THAT GREAT???!!! AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS SAYING!!!! OH I JUST KILL MYSELF!!!! ) Yeah, woot woot. Anyways, turns out that Emily is almost as scared of spiders as Ron is! (AM NOT!) Are too. (AM NOT!!) Are too. (AM NOT!!!) Look spider! (AAH! WHERE?) Ha. (I HATE YOU. ) get in line. (JUST FOR THAT YOURE GOING DOWN IN THE CHAMBER BEFORE ME ) oh yeah, they took peace by the way. (YEAH AND WERE GOING DOWN TO GET HER) yup. And I think we have to go. (BYE)
Harry and (EMILY!!!! )






OH MY GOD TOM IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!!! What is the snake's name?
Um it’s a basilisk.
Whatevs. But what’s its name?
It doesn't have one.
Can I name it?
Sure.
Um.
.
.
Rosalie. The snake reminds me of a friend





EW, EW, EW, EW, this is so gross down here. We slid down a tunnel in le bathroom and now we are in a place with human skulls everywhere. Emily doesn't seem to mind though. (I AM SO PSYCHED TO MEET THE SNAKE. WEEEEEEEEE! ) yeah. Weee. Okay, we have just walked into the cavern. And.....peace is standing Далее to some dude. (HOLY CRAP PEACE IS IN LEAGUE WITH TOM RIDDLE) who's he? (ER-) shh he’s talking. Detailed Описание starting now brought to Ты by: harry potter:

Peace: hi guys!
Emily\me: Ummmm..............hi?
Tom: hello harry potter-who are you?
Emily: names Emily. I don’t like you.
Tom: gee that's friendly. Oohhhhhh I know you. You’re that mudblood girl who the snake wont go near aren't you?
Emily: k, guess so.
Peace: oh, this is so exiting! What are we here for anyways?
Emily: Эй, peace, hate to break it to you, but he is going to set a giant snake in us and kill us all.
Peace: cool can I watch?
Emily: I hate you.
Me (harry): wait- what? Why would he try to kill us?
Emily\peace: he’s lord voldemort!
Me: WHAT? Really?
riddle\peace\Emily: duh.
Emily: so.....now what?
Riddle: I guess I’m supposed to set the snake on Ты now.
Emily: k, Ты do that.

Well, we battled the snake, sort of.
Me: EMILY GET THE SWORD!!!!
Emily: noooooooo, swords are heavy and pointy. Can’t I just battle the snake with my dagge- Эй, wait a minute! You’re supposed to be battling the snake!
Me: I know but you're sooooooo much stronger.
Emily: flattery will get Ты somewhere
So, Emily battled the snake instead of me, so I was happy, but the snake bit Emily AND me!!!!
Emily: awwwww look what Ты made me do
Riddle: HA!! Now Ты will both die, I will regain my true form, and lord voldemort-
Peace: uh tom?
Riddle: shut up I’m gloating
Peace: yeah but I really think Ты should know that-
Riddle: BE QUIET!! Now as I was saying, lord voldemort will rise again! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!
Emily (quietly): I just got bit by a giant poisonous snake.
Peace: uh-oh
Riddle: what? What’s wrong?
Peace: that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When she sees something ironic she-er-flips.
Emily: yeah, but Ты forgot one thing
Riddle: yes, but she only has минуты before the poison takes her
Peace: oh yeah, that’s another thing-
Me: oh no, we're all going to die here from the poison-EMILY ARE Ты EMO????!!!
(Emily looks up from sucking on her arm) Emily: no
Riddle: what are Ты doing?
Emily: using irony to my advantage
Peace: that looks cool can I try?
Emily: shut up I’m mad at you
Riddle: this doesn’t make any sense; Ты should be dead by now
(Edward walks in)
Edward: Emily are Ты making fun of me again?
Emily: no I just got bit by a giant snake. Эй, would Ты do me a favor and run this sword through that diary?
Edward: sure, no problem
Peace: NO I LIKE HIM!!!!
Emily: yeah, so did Victoria but look what happened to her
So Edward ran the sword through riddle and we went upstairs.
posted by RavenclawRocks
First of all, this is MY opinion. If Ты don't agree, that's fine. If Ты do, well great! So here I go.

Bella is a shallow bitch. Why? Well, Edward looks at Bella and thinks "she smells nice" Bella looks at Edward and thinks "OMG He's so hot!" So they're in love. Sorry, I mean they are in lust. It's not love! It's just they enjoy being in love. Bella would дата Santa Clause if he was hot!
And then there's the fact when Edward leaves Bella, she goes straight for Jacob who is the секунда hottest guy in town after moping for four fricken months! I mean moping for 4 weeks is ok. But 4 months...
And...
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Credit for the first 11 goes to mugglenet.com

11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan
Guaranteed to start a shouting match of fantastic proportions...


1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter Книги in a Twilight dust jacket.

2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight Фильмы got him after the Harry Potter Фильмы were finished with him.

3. Список other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater...

4. State that Ты think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead.

5. "Accidentally"...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
Hello, everyone. It's me, teamsalvatore. (Salvy)

So this club is Potter vs. Twilight, Rowling vs. Meyer, Wizards vs. Vampires. I, personally, my opinion, think that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. BUT I think that there are some redundant things in Twilight. And remember, these are ust my opinions:

-Bella's weakness; She's helpless, and turning girls everywhere into weak, spineless idiots. She's making girls everywhere think they need a guy like Edward to protect them.
-Edward's obvious self-hate; He's a non-cutting emo, for crying out loud! A wannabe! We get it, Eddy, Ты don't like yourself....
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Okay. I know what Ты are all thinking. Oh no not another Harry Potter vs. Twilight Статья but yes I am making one because I can. I just want my opinion to be heard. So first off let me Список the reasons why children, teens and adults can Любовь Harry Potter and the good messages that Harry Potter gets across. Harry Potter first of all teaches people about the very special bond between people called friendship. Harry, Hermione and Ron are a perfect example of friendship. They are all with Harry until the very end like they promised. They risk their lives for each other and even though they fight,...
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posted by TeamSiriusBlack
    Ok, well I’m getting pretty tired of people saying that Bella and Edward’s relationship is love. It’s not. It’s just lust. Let’s look at the clues:
-She sees him and thinks he’s gorgeous.
-He likes her smell.
-He’s a vampire.
    Now, before I start Письмо about these points, I would like to compare the relationship to that of Snape and Lily. Yes, they have never gone out but they didn’t need to. Snape met Lily when they were little. He probably thought she was pretty and developed a crush on her which bloomed into love. When Snape found...
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posted by Sophia21
Realised the points have little to do with plot, thus changed the Название to errors.

My apologise to Twilight Фаны if I'm a little too harsh, but I have reread the Книги like twice this месяц and it was a little exasperating. Not to worry, I'm currently rereading Harry Potter, so a plothole Список on it will be added soon =)

Ok, let's get started:

1.A hundred years of...nothingness?
Explanation: I don't expect science fiction Книги to be scientifically accurate. But if Ты plan your main character to live 100 years studying in prep forever at the age of 17, make the whole book plausible. No, just saying...
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added by Gred_and_Forge
Source: Tumblr
added by TeamSiriusBlack
added by nati30
Source: Once again, another pic I found in the C.A.T. spot
I made a Список of combined and possible plot holes about Harry Potter. Some of them I came up with myself, and some of them I got from different places online. If Ты can give explanation answering the Вопросы ,do it please.
I purposely put in a few really really picky Вопрос because there are a lot of Статьи about Twilight like this, so I want to see how Harry Potter Фаны respond to the ridiculously picks questions. I'm not going to tell Ты which ones they are, but they should be easy to pick out.





1.    Why do the founders of Hogwarts have surnames? Family names weren’t...
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posted by BedIntruder
95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion by BedIntruder Опубликовано 4 hours назад


1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by Письмо about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The Книги aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by kenzichu
link


116. "BTW Twilight is the bestest film ever" I get really frusterated when soomebody compares the films instead off the movies. And whats worse is that Ты arent giving any reasons. "Stop hating, pick-up Twilight, actually read it and Ты will Любовь it and stop hating Twilight". Has it ever occurred to Ты that twilight haters have read the whole series? Like me? "HP is all around boring and it is made for younger children". I dont understand how Harry Potter can be so boring. Maybe Ты didnt keep up with the amount of action and romance and magic and the mystery. или maybe Ты didnt read...
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posted by lucius_malloy
So, once there was this girl - well, actually that girl still is - but anyway, this girl who we'll call Emma, for the purposes of now. (Well, actually, we'll call her that because it's her name. But Ты get the point.)

Around two, two and a half years ago, when Emma was in sixth grade, one of her Друзья - let's call her K, if she must have a name - was Чтение a book that looked rather interesting. It was black, with a shiny hard cover, and had an яблоко on the front. It was called Houkutus, which translates to Temptation. Emma liked the name and thought it might prove an interesting read, but...
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posted by GemonkDruid
 Too true!
Too true!
I discovered these song spoofs in my Письмо folder from my "Uber-Anti" stage, and I decided to share it with Ты guys, for the sake of nostalgia and whatnot.

Dumb Isabella (spoof on Umbrella by Rihanna)-

You wanna be, a sparkly Meyer-pire like me
Maybe in your dreams, but never in reality
Until Ты agree, to take my hand and marry me
And that's when you’ll want me there
to turn Ты into a vampire
Because

[Chorus]
You’re a stupid Sue who wants us together
Told Ты I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your bitch
Took an oath I regret, Ты crazy witch
Now it's raining еще than ever
But we’re...
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posted by LoveforSeverus
Well I've been Письмо a little fanfic recently and I realized that when I write fanfic, I mostly let my character's handle the plot. Whatever happens to pop in my head at the time, and doesn't go completely against the в общем и целом, общая story line, gets put in the fanfic.
But Smeyer says that she wrote Twilight by just "letting her characters handle the plot". There by making it seem a lot like how, not only I, but other people, write Фан fiction.
I decided to look up some reasons of what makes a good Фан fiction:
"1. Choose the anime/manga/book/video game/movie Ты want your fan-fic to be about." Vampire's...
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posted by LilRavenclaw95
Okay, my friend and I go to a school that has a thing called 'Lit Circles'. There's a Список of books, and Twilight is on there, but not Harry Potter. My friend thought this was totally wrong, and wrote a super long persuasive essay to our English teacher about it. This was all hers, and I can't take credit for how awesome it is :)

Why Twilight Should Be Replaced by Harry Potter in Lit Circles

    Two Книги sit on the shelf in front of you; on the cover of the first, Ты see two pale hands holding a deep red apple. The секунда features a young boy on a broomstick, in midair as...
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posted by ryomaidol
My cousin says we, Harry Potter Фаны are insecure about this ranting. How should I respond to this?!


(I HAVE TAKEN THINGS FROM OTHER Статьи HERE, sorry if used without permission)


HERE IS THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION:

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: says Twilight ang pasimuno ng mga JEJEMON (ANGRY) (Twilight started the Jejemon movement)
46 минуты назад via Plurk · Комментарий · Like · View Комментарии on Plurk

** ******: weh? PROVE IT!!!
41 минуты назад ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: link wahahahah
33 минуты назад ·

** ******: duh! nonsense!
23 минуты назад ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: haha Twilighters...
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I did not write this.
1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores Ты или is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in Любовь with Ты — and Ты are the point of his existence.
2.Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells Ты to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the Любовь of your life. Ты should stay with him since he will keep Ты безопасно, сейф forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling...
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