Keep Calm

Dulce et Decorum Est (1917)
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Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had Остаться в живых their boots
But limped on, blood-shod.Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had Остаться в живых their boots
But limped on, blood-shod.
Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! — An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just...

These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for Ты meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s...