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3 seperate stories.. All Simpsons skits...


STORY ONE:

Master Sword Dinky, and Derpy are employed as caretakers at a mansion. However the caretaker cuts the cable Телевидение wire and confiscates the beer, thinking this will ensure hard work from the family. While there the groundskeeper discovers that Dinky has power to read thoughts and says that if his Sword goes еще insane than usual, that she should should use this to summon him. Dinky is confused about this, but the groundskeeper doesn't add anything more.

Sword goes to turn on the TV but finds static.

Sword: (calmly) Hmm, cables out.. Maybe I'll have a beer, annnnd there's no пиво in here, haha, how lovely.

Derpy: Sword, wow, your taking this very we-

Sword: I'll kill you! I'LL KILL ALL OF YO-

Derpy: Sword!

Sword: Kidding, kidding, maybe I'll check out that axe cellection.. See Ты later (leaves).

Dinky: Mom, is your boyfriend gonna kill us?

Derpy: Guess we're have to wait see.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sword goes down to the bar, where a ghost drops all subtlety and tells Sword he must kill the girls.

------------------------------------------------------------

Derpy goes to check on Sword to see he wrote "no TV no пиво make Master Sword crazy." And Sword himself bursts into the room, Derpy screams.

Sword: (eerily calm) So, what do Ты think, baby? All I need is a title. I was thinking of something along the lines of "No TV and no пиво make Sword..." something something.

Derpy:: (nervous) ..."Go Crazy"?

Sword:: (hysterically) DON'T MIND IF I DO! (goes on a wacky rant)

(Derpy screams and smashes open a case labeled "Break glass in case of boyfriend's insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within).

Derpy: Stay away from me!

Sword: (chases Derpy up some stairs) Give me the bat, Derpy. Gimme the bat. Gimmethebat! Come on! Gimmethebat! Gimme the bat! Gimmi the batbat whoo! Ha ha ha! Scaredy cat! (makes scary face) Bleaahhh... (sees himself in a mirror) AAAAAHH! (falls down the stairs, knocking himself out;Derpy leaves his unconscious body locked in a pantry)

Derpy: Ты stay here til your no longer insane. (locks him in).

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sword is seen eating a bunch of stuff in the pantry is back to himself eating happily until a bunch of ghouls drag him back out of the pantry.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Derpy and Dinky are enjoying dinner.

(Sword chops through a door with an axe)

Sword: Heeeere's Johnny! (the camera pulls back to reveal an empty room) Dammit!

(Sword chops through a секунда door)

Sword: Daaaaavid Letterman! (wrong room again).

(Sword chops through a third door)

Sword: (holding a ticking stopwatch) I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes! (evil smile)

The girls: Aaaaah! (they get up and start running, Dinky uses his powers to summon the Groundskeepers, who immediately runs to the family's rescue, abandoning his portable Телевидение in the snow in the process. However Sword easily kills him by striking him in the back with the axe.

Derpy: Oh my, I hope that carpet is scotch-guarded.

Sword pursues the girls outside but as he is about to kill them, Dinky discovers the abandoned television. And shows it.

Dinky: Sword look!

Sword: Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret lover... Urge to kill fading...fading...fading... (family approaches)RISING!...fading...fading...gone.

(The girls sigh in relief).

Sword: Come family.

They end up Холодное сердце there.

TV: And now the Tony awards.

Derpy (frozen): Sword, change it!

Sword: Can't, frozen!

(they all scream as the Tony awards begin).

Sword: Urge to kill.. Rising.





STORY TWO:

Saten Twist's hammock collapses while he is taking a nap. He purchases a new one from a passing vendor, who warns him that it carries a curse. Disregarding this, Saten lies down and discovers that the new hammock can produce clones of anyone who rests on it. He inspects the first clone and notices that it does not have a belly button.

He makes clones to do all of his chores, which include helping Trixie choose an outfit, playing with Dinky, and dong housechores.

The clones are far less intelligent that him. Glaze asks for help chainsawing some trees, so Saten sends a clone. Who later returns, Показ off Glaze's decapitated head and happily Показ it off, scaring Saten.

Taking it as a sign this is getting out of hand, Saten abondons the clones in acornfield. Asking if any remember the way home. A few raise there hands, and Saten shoots them with a gun he brought. Leaving the rest, as well as the magic hammock.

However, the clones use the abandoned hammock to make an army of Saten Twist clones.

The clones attacks Ponyville and destroys all of its buildings, except for Maggie's bar, which reports record business.

The пони army officials gather in the Mayor's War Room, and determine that the clones will eat up all of Equestria within a few days. Derpy thinks of a solution to solve the problem, after getting the idea from Saten himself, who became upset when he found an empty doughnut box.

Helicopters hook gigantic doughnuts on cables and lure the clones to their deaths.

In the end, Trixie is shocked to find that the Saten Twist she went Главная with is a clone, and the real Saten Twist appearently was the first to jump off the cliff.

Trixe freaks, until the clone gives her a backrub.

Trixie: Oh well.






STORY THREE:

Derpy sees every оладья, кекс, маффин store closed. And states that he would sell his soul for a muffin. The devil himself appears and offers her a contract to печать the deal.

Derpy: Hey, wait. If I don't finish this last bite, Ты don't get my soul, right?

The Devil: Well, technically no...

Derpy (singsong) I'm smarter than the de-vil! I'm smarter than the de-vil!

The Devil: (morphs from normal to Chernabog) Ты ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE Ты IN HELL YET, DERPY HOOVES! (shrinks and disappears)

Derpy: Pfft, yeah right.

Unfortunately, while half-asleep and looking for a midnight snack, Derpy eats the final piece of the "forbidden donut", and Lucifer instantly reappears to take possession of her soul. But Glaze was there and pleads with the devil, finally getting Lucifee to agree to hold a trial the Далее day. Until then, Derpy is sent to spend the rest of the день being punished in Hell.

Her first punishment is to be strapped down and force-fed "all the doughnuts in the world!".

(a machine begins force-feeding Derpy muffins two at a time; the scene fades to several hours later: the Стена of Пончики are gone, the machine is still force-feeding a bloated but smiling Derpy.. and she's still going)

Derpy: More!

Demon: (frustrated) I don't understand it! James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, tumblr, deviantart
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con shot the explosives in a room near him, not to kill himself, but to blow a hole in the Стена so that they could escape.

Con: *Jumps out building*
Lola: *Jumps out building* We never did get to find Yolo.
Con: *Looks out in desert* I think I see him. Stay here. *Goes back in building*

Twenty минуты later

Yolo: *Walking in desert*
Con: *driving car*
Yolo: *Stops walking*
Con: *Stops car Далее to Yolo* You're making a mistake with walking away.
Yolo: Go away. I don't have to put up with you.
Con: Do Ты want to survive, или not?
Yolo: I'll take my chances.
Con: Get in the car.
Yolo: Ugh *gets in car*...
continue reading...
We were all congratulating each other as we entered the Castle. "Pinkie Pie did a great job distracting Discord." I сказал(-а) with a giggle. Pinkie Pie beamed. "Thanks! Hey, Twilight, can Ты please do that spell on me again? PLEASE?!" Twilight Sparkle laughed. "Oh no, Pinkie. The results might stay permanent." Pinkie Pie murmured, "I wish..." радуга Dash punched her fists. "Now, who's next?" She asked. "Hmm.... Queen Chrysalis?" I suggested. "Aw yeah!" сказал(-а) радуга Dash. We walked inside the castle, and Celestia greeted us. "Queen Chrysalis is in Canterlot, she is destroying everything. She has...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: Facebook
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: Facebook
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - So how should we go for it?
Jimmy - BlackNET was full of rats... But never ever someone sold whole site.
Lenny - That is true...
Damien - Whoever is it I gonna smoke his flank.
Jake - Chill... Alright... Guys... It's not about BlackNET... I don't care what happened to those guys, what worries me is that someone is mainly having us under objective.
Joel - How do Ты think. Who is it.
Damien - Obviously somepony who knows us for long.
??? - Daddy! *runs up to Joel*
Joel - Whoa Эй, there buddy...
Snowdive - I knew it... I just...
Joel - Calm down.
Jimmy - Nice waify lad.
Snowdive - Not for long.
Joel...
continue reading...
added by Jade_23
posted by SomeoneButNoone
---
News - Biggest so far revolution begun in middle of Equestria. The revolt happens because of Leaked information's about hazardous effects of cores. Ponies do not want to use any of them now. They want skin of Doctor Jake that continues reschearch on "life saving project".
Jake - *on TV* I want everyone to calm down as Noone knew about them untill now. I will continue legacy of Doctor Dan and Doctor Steven and make something that will bring your sick closest!

Pony #1 - Bullshit! Death to those rats
Pony #2 - Kill those traitors!
Pony #3 - Yeah we will end dead before he will do it!
Snowflake -...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Principal - Ты did what?!
Dan - It's horrible... But true...
Principal - This kid is a ticking bomb...
Dan - Once he use this power after 1 час he will simply die.
Principal - This thing killed your brother and Ты still test it!
Dan - No... It's only thing that can kill me...
Principal - Ты don't mean...
Dan - I'm losing it *looks out of window* my mind is getting еще corryoet еще I test myself, I'm slowly breaking. I want to did with him. Pathetic right... I'm scared of dying alone so I take my creation with myself. I'm an egoist...
Principal - ...



---
Racing arena
---
Announcer - And Void won the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 This is Frank, and Reggie's S2000
This is Frank, and Reggie's S2000
Далее day, Frank, and Reggie were at the body Магазин on Green Drive Далее to Shadow Lake.

Frank: *Observing the body Магазин пони working on his car* How much longer will this take?
Body Магазин Pony: Just a couple еще seconds. *Finishes* Okay, Ты promised me twelve grand in cash.
Frank: *Gives the body Магазин пони his money*
Body Магазин Pony: Ты two enjoy yourselves.
Frank: We will.
Reggie: New tires, a beefed up engine, of course we'll enjoy ourselves.
Frank: *Gets in the driver's seat, and drives out of the body shop. He drifts to the right as he goes faster*

Julia was south of Frank's location with...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: June 14, 1961
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 2:42 PM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Two military ponies in a Jeep stopped at the station.

Military пони 1: *Stops between a Cadillac, and a Corvette*
Military пони 2: *Getting out*
Military пони 1: *Following his partner*
Pete: *Signing papers*
Military Ponies: *Walking in*
Pete: Can I help Ты two?
Military пони 1: I assume Ты heard of the Soviet attack on our base earlier this morning.
Pete: Yes I did. Very unfortunate.
Military пони 2: We've been asked to set up base here, and watch out for any suspicious activity.
Pete: I don't know what makes...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, Facebook
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Everyone in Hungry's pirate crew got to the green, and yellow shack where a пони was selling maps.

Map Pony: Yes?
Hungry: We want a pirate map.
Map Pony: And why do Ты want one of those?
Hungry: Because we're pirates. We're looking for buried treasure.
Map Pony: A stupid пони like Ты shouldn't be going on a pirate journey.
Hungry: I'm not stupid.
Rainbow Dash: Look, we need this map to find treasure. Now hurry up, and give it to us.
Map Pony: And what if I don't want to?
Rainbow Dash: Max?
Max: *Gives радуга Dash his sword*
Rainbow Dash: *Points sword at the map pony*
Map Pony: Uh, okay. Take...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: Deviant Art, Joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage