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What do Ты guy's think of my character?

Here is another one of my Original Characters. Her name is Alessandra Sofia.
- She likes: (as it says) Singing, dancing, gymnastics, shopping, Музыка (of course), sweets (but not too many sweets), dating, chatting with friends, showering, online shooting and modeling magazines.
- She does not like: Homework, Early mornings, Пение off key, gaining weight, her hair getting messy and people saying bad things about Italy или her friends.
- She was born and raised in Italy but she and her family moved to the United States by the age of 16. By the age of 21, she is a junior in a college at New York City. And even as an early adult still hasn't Остаться в живых touch of her Italian roots. She had always had dreams of being the Далее greatest pop звезда and spends a lot of time focusing on her Пение career while still keeping track of her school work. She is also a гимнаст, гимнастка as she had gotten her body in shape to be one of the most dedicated members there are and she also uses the moves she learned in gymnastics such as hand springs and cartwheels to perform on stage (such as at talent shows). Not only that, but alot of people at her университет is so amazed by her beauty, talent and fashion sense that she's slowly becoming еще Популярное as the days go on. Her popularity has been so high that she's even been making her own CDs and selling them to her fans. Songs featuring covers by other artist but they mostly contain songs she wrote herself, dubbed in both Italian and English.

So what do Ты guys think of her?
 What do Ты guy's think of my character?
 sMCCarthyTV posted Больше года
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Болталка Ответы

BlondLionEzel said:
I Любовь it!
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posted Больше года 
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Thnaks ^^ Atleast someone does
sMCCarthyTV posted Больше года
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At least someone does? Listen to the people critizizing! They're all right!
misscrazel posted Больше года
tamore said:
two dimensional and cliche af tbh
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posted Больше года 
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cliche? How so?
sMCCarthyTV posted Больше года
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a pretty girl who wants to be a singer who cares about shopping and grades..........
tamore posted Больше года
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the italian thing is the only part that's not a cliche but she still totally lacks any depth, which maybe is what Ты going for but it makes her unattractive in my eyes
tamore posted Больше года
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*you're
tamore posted Больше года
sieluvzsoul said:
Is she supposed to be a vocaloid или something? Either way she seems aight. Maybe a little too cliche though. And maybe Ты should make her hair a certain color not rainbow
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posted Больше года 
SeeUV3 said:
I don't like the art too much....
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posted Больше года 
AmyRoseReal said:
She sounds AND looks like your typical Аниме character. Her anatomy is, um...strange. Way too cliche.
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posted Больше года 
Shadowmarioking said:
ngl alessandras a bland character
yes, she can do all these things, but that is exactly what kills her. shes too much in a single package. it seems everyone likes her and is amazed by her, her popularitys exceeded thus far that she can make her own CDs and sell them independently. there is no struggle, there are no faults stated, she is what anyone would strive to be and that is what makes her completely unappealing. Ты may be able to showcase this sort of character and have them appreicated by a limited audience. i guarentee Ты that a majority of people may not take this character very lightly and see them as "over the top" или as some users have been stating "cliche"

when it comes to the Дизайн there are WAAAAAAAAAAY too many colors. color directs the eyes to focus on a specific area but looking at alessandra i dont even know where to begin. the multi colored hair is an eyesore when mixed in w/ the colored outfit. everythings just very bright and while i can understand if this was done b/cause of the lack of any other Цвета its still too much. i dont even know whats on her head (ears?? a bow??)

what i would recommend jic tl;dr is that Ты run your character through a mary sue test and give her some sort of antagonist and flaws. get rid of whatever isnt necessary to make her a singer. yes, she can do gymnastics but on the side and even then she doesnt have to be astounding at it. hell, make her lousy at it to counter the concept that she is some sort of superhuman mary sue

on a side note i envy your handwriting b/cause that is gorgeous
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posted Больше года 
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also if youre unsure what to do if your character comes up as a mary sue i recommend starting over from scratch and learning a lot about the struggles when it comes to becoming a musician and possibly health consequences and the lifestyle alessandra might actually lead
Shadowmarioking posted Больше года
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Болталка Вопрос coming at ya... ever read Ender's Game?
True-Finn-Fan posted Больше года
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^no
Shadowmarioking posted Больше года
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^just checking something, thanks.
True-Finn-Fan posted Больше года
walnoot said:
basically everything shadowmarioking said.
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posted Больше года 
DaringDevil said:
I totally agree with shadowmarioking and no I'm not impressed by your character
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posted Больше года 
misscrazel said:
Total Mary-sue. Sorry, but Ты need to fix her a little. 'she had gotten her body in shape to be one of the most dedicated members there are', 'uses the moves she learned in gymnastics such as hand springs and cartwheels to perform on stage (such as at talent shows)', and 'Not only that, but alot of people at her университет is so amazed by her beauty, talent and fashion sense that she's slowly becoming еще Популярное as the days go on' scream Mary-sue. Also the name Alessandra Sofia is totally Mary-sue. I think Ты have great potential for a good character and plot though.
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posted Больше года 
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Iliked the Italy thing though. Gives your character a tiny bit of depth.
misscrazel posted Больше года
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Here are some tips: give her some intresting things. Maybe she has a colection of china dolls? Maybe she loves a certain book или movie? Give her one или two hair coulours. радуга hair is NOT working with her design. Give her obstacles. I myself want to be a singer. My obstacles: my disorder, people discouraging me, not having band members, not knowing how to start, thinking I had a bad voice, etc. I even considered giving up a few times.
misscrazel posted Больше года
egyptprincess7 said:
Sorry but your character really sounds really cliche. She sounds like a typical character honestly. Ты should really kind of change a lot of things. I'll send Ты some references if Ты want. The Italy part was really original though.
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posted Больше года 
Mollymolata said:
Looks great. Good Job!
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posted Больше года 
Syltre said:
I'm really sorry about this but, I think your character is way too cliche. Your character seems like it's good at almost everything and is very Популярное and smart. Those kind of characters are nice and admired but she's... too good at everything. Which takes out all of the interests in the character. The Italian part about her is interesting and unique though.
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posted Больше года 
True-Finn-Fan said:
it feels vague and has too much success and not enough challenge. i mean i can sum it up like this... she shows up in the US from Italy, goes to college, had a very stereotypical immigrant dream = "become famous", was a Mary Sue in college, becomes famous... the end.

where's the challenge, where's the conflict? to make a good character Ты need to give the character flaws that stick, like stage fright или bad sinning voice...

if Ты were to say that she always wanted to be a pop звезда and had written so many good songs but her voice wasn't good enough to express them или get them recognized then the character would be еще interesting and would make for a better story. and maybe she's getting bad grades in one class because wasting time in class Письмо new songs или something... to say she's just 'story perfect' is kinda... overdone and uninteresting.

give her something that's not desirable, a flaw, a mistake, a screw up, and then her character becomes еще complete and original.

the drawing wasn't bad though, much better than anything i could have drawn. the hair was a little overdone on color but... to every man his own i guess.
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posted Больше года 
neonClouds said:
Mary sue, total cliche storm
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posted Больше года 
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