1. If using a touch-tone, press Болталка numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their Вопросы with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on вверх this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your Избранное song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings Ты want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when Ты say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if Ты would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer Ты up.
22. Make a Список of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation Ты are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like Ты know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric нож sharpener.
30. Ask if Ты get to keep the пицца box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your пицца "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are Ты sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do Ты know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Переместить the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as Ты speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the вверх of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your пицца is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would Ты like?" say, "Huh? Oh, Ты mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so Ты can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say Ты were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Сообщить a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if Ты should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the пицца is organically grown.
65. Ask about пицца maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little еще OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 секунды throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's дата and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a Описание to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings Ты want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that Ты won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I сказал(-а) 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping Ты order mushrooms. Make the last thing Ты say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge дана the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the пицца has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the час to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the пицца with a public flogging.
And finally, if any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, use this gem...
100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their Вопросы with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on вверх this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your Избранное song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings Ты want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when Ты say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if Ты would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer Ты up.
22. Make a Список of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation Ты are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like Ты know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric нож sharpener.
30. Ask if Ты get to keep the пицца box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your пицца "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are Ты sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do Ты know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Переместить the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as Ты speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the вверх of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your пицца is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would Ты like?" say, "Huh? Oh, Ты mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so Ты can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say Ты were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Сообщить a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if Ты should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the пицца is organically grown.
65. Ask about пицца maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little еще OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 секунды throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's дата and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a Описание to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings Ты want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that Ты won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I сказал(-а) 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping Ты order mushrooms. Make the last thing Ты say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge дана the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the пицца has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the час to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the пицца with a public flogging.
And finally, if any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, use this gem...
100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
1. Run up a down escalator naked
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man или YMCA
5. перфоратор, удар, пунш someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on вверх of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and перфоратор, удар, пунш all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Иисус или Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man или YMCA
5. перфоратор, удар, пунш someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on вверх of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and перфоратор, удар, пунш all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as Иисус или Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
1. Walk up to a Болталка person, grab both their shoulders, look into their eyes and say, "I feel bad for you, son."
2. Walk up to a Болталка person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person Ты are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a Болталка person the same gender as Ты and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" или "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a Болталка man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
2. Walk up to a Болталка person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person Ты are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a Болталка person the same gender as Ты and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" или "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a Болталка man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
1. Everytime Ты read Twilight, a kitten is born :D
2. If Ты are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. If Ты are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!