1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that Ты have to go to the bathroom, and that Ты think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are Ты doing okay in there?". To make it even еще annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When Ты are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom. (Even if they would rather Ты didn't).
2. Sing along to everything. Especially the annoying или little-kid songs. If they are listening to their iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start Пение along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well). Remember, Ты don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as Ты go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if Ты are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles. Ты could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
3. Hug Болталка people. Just spontaneously run up to a person and give them a hug and tell them that Ты are so glad to see them and that they are your best friend ever. And after that, right in front of them, do the same thing to some other person.
4. Ask private questions. Ты can either ask a ton of these to one person, или spread it around. If Ты are going to do this to any Болталка person, do things like ask a man if he has ever had an abortion или is pregnant, или ask a 13 год old if they have ever been to rehab, had a drug intervention, или if they are wasted/drunk.
5. Laugh for no reason and at Болталка times. Don't explain yourself either when someone asks Ты why Ты are laughing. Just shrug it off and start laughing at something else. Alternatively, Make up inside jokes that only Ты know and don't share them with anyone. When someone asks Ты why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke.
6. Make animal sounds. People can get really annoyed if Ты sneak up behind them and say "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". If someone is yelling at Ты или scolding you, make a questioning "baaahh?" или "rrribbitt?" sound.
7. Ask someone "why?" and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question.
8. Make prank phone calls. Call your Друзья during class to "see if their phones were off like they were supposed to be". Call Болталка numbers in the phone book and ask them if they would like to share a turkey sandwich, and don't worry, there's no mustard. The old refrigerator running call is a definite option too, because it's the most annoying in the book! Call one place and then hang up, and keep calling like that. They will be driven insane by the non-stop ringing.
9. Speak all in acronyms. Instead of actually laughing, just say "LOL!" Instead of Актёрское искусство surprised, just say "OMG!".
10. Be sarcastic about everything, to the point that people have absolutely no idea what Ты are trying to say.
11. Quote an annoying saying или make one up and keep using it like it's an explanation for everything.
12. Talk about feelings. Always start the conversation with 'I feel' this and 'you hurt my feelings' that and don't stop. It will drive people crazy. It also helps if Ты get out an acoustic гитара and talk about how everything hurts your feelings. Also, every time someone says something, reply with, "Oh, I see. And how do Ты think that makes me feel?" Also, complain non-stop. No one wants to be around a whiner.
13. Act very full of yourself and like the entire world should revolve around your fingernails.
14. Make annoying sounds. Tap your fingers constantly on the table, или tap your foot over and over again.
15. Have really pointless and loud conversations on your mobile phone on the bus/train. This never fails to be annoying.
16. Shuffle around constantly. Act as if Ты can't keep still.
17. Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's eye line.
18. Gawk at something non-existent on the вверх of someone's head. When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head или right on вверх of their head. If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation. To make it even еще annoying, keep doing it throughout the день at inappropriate times.
19. Eat weird things constantly. Good things for this are sprinkles, ketchup, soy nuts, and ice. или put something weird on everything Ты eat.
20. Eat really loudly. Forget your таблица manners.
21. Stare at people. This freaks a lot of people out.
22. Tell people, IN ENGLISH, that Ты do not speak English, and Ты are learning from a tutor. This works even better if Ты use really long или rarely used words. The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use.
23. Chew gum constantly, as loud as Ты can, and with your mouth open.
24. Learn a different language (uncommon languages work best) and ramble at Болталка people in that language. A highly recommended language is Klingon, as very few people know about it and it sounds alien.
25. Watch old movies. Some old Фильмы are annoying enough by just being on the shelves of the nearest Block Buster, but what if Ты took the old movie annoying factor to a whole new level? Ты can watch dozens of them and give reviews and say things like ,"The only part I didn't like was that Johnny and Bethany didn't Kiss until the end" или "The musical numbers were GARBAGE" even if there weren't any. After Письмо your reviews, try and memorize them and tell everyone Ты know. Ты can also invite all your Друзья over and insist they stay up with Ты all night to watch the "I Любовь Lucy" series collection.
26. Sit on a bench in a park with a friend and make Комментарии about people (loudly so that they can hear you) that is the complete OPPOSITE of what they are actually like, e.g. if a really fat person walks past, yell "OH MY GOSH, THERE'S JUST NO NEED FOR BEING THAT SKINNY."
27. When someone asks Ты anything, reply "sure, Ты want fries with that?".
28. Sing Болталка songs at Болталка times. for example: start Пение Jingle Bells during a car trip. This is very annoying and will annoy anyone.
29. If your friend is on a date, call him/her every 2 минуты to ask what's going on. Make them go into an extremely detailed Описание of what their дата is wearing, down to if the zipper on his/her куртка is made of metal или plastic. If they turn off their phone, leave a zillion messages each with one question. If Ты can, call the person your friend is dating and ask to speak to your friend.
30. Refuse to go to постель, кровати unless the cat или whatever pet Ты have reads Ты a bedtime story.
31. Offer someone something. If they say yes and reach for it, yell "NO, THOSE ARE MINE!"
32. Contradict yourself constantly and act like it's the other person's fault for not understanding you. for example : "Everyone knows that secret" "If it's a secret than how come everybody knows it?" "No one knows it" "Then how do Ты know it?" "Everybody does" Keep doing this infinitely.
33. Pick a few Болталка fairly common words. Whenever someone says them. Inform that person that they have mispronounced that word and tell them the "correct" pronunciation. Never do this if the actually mispronounce a word.
34. Ask people what gender they are.
35. Tell this joke to the same person everyday. Here goes. Ты say," How many fingers do I have?" The they will say, "how many?" или "10." Then Ты say," I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs!" And laugh and cough. Again, tell this joke to the same person everyday. Then, after a week, change the target.
Warnings
In most cases, this will not encourage other people to enjoy your company. Ты could lose all your Друзья if Ты annoy them. Don't be annoying to your Друзья too much, they will not be your Друзья anymore if Ты do so.
