Болталка Club
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1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter Книги and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from Ты (Example: When in a car или an elevator). If Ты don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Рождество and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their Избранное song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their Входящие with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.

9. Start Пение a Sorting Hat song at Болталка moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.

10. Make them play Quidditch with you.

11. Give all of their Друзья Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.

12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address Ты as such in public.

13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if Ты aren't from the UK.

14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.

15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture Ты come across...in permanent marker.

17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every день life.

18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks Ты where something is, use these names.

19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.

20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.

21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.

22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.

23. Pretend Ты can do magic.

24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.

25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you.

26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with "Three turns should do it" in a very serious voice.

30. Break any awkward silences by saying, "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons?"

31. Tell a very long joke using a Болталка Harry Potter quote as the punchline and then laugh hysterically.

32. ...make sure the joke isn't funny.

33. Use the titles "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" to refer to Болталка people.

34. ... make sure no one knows who you're talking about.

35. Write letters to people (friends, neighbors...politicians) and ask them to Присоединиться S.P.E.W.

36. ...hand fliers advertising it to Болталка passerby.

37. Сообщить Dumbledore's death to your local authorities.

38. Call them repeatedly asking if Percy Weasley is there and hang up before they can reply.

39. Pop up in place you're not supposed to be and insist that Ты were only trying to Apparate.

40. If you're late for something, blame it on your broken Time Turner.

41. Deck yourself out in all of your Harry Potter gear when Ты know you'll be going to a public place.

42. Walk past a Стена over and over again, stopping randomly to bang on. When Ты receive weird stares, shout, "What?! I'm look for the Room of Requirement!"

43. Every time Ты see them, demand an explanation of why exactly they don't like Harry Potter.

44. If anyone tells Ты you'll go to hell for Чтение Harry Potter, either: a) jump and down and tell them that Ты can't wait; b) tell them you'll meet them there; c) sing "Weasley Is Our King" over and over again; или d) ask them to back up this claim with evidence, and laugh at them when they can't.

45. Play the soundtracks while they're stuck in your car.

46. ...add commentary. ( Oh, this is where they...)

47. When one of the Фильмы is on TV, call to remind them.

48. ...every five minutes.

49. If they ask for your phone number, tell them it's 6-2-4-4-2.

50. Say "Alohomora!" everytime Ты open a door.

51. Sort every person Ты meet into one of the four Houses.

52. Follow them around while Актёрское искусство out a scene from the book doing very annoying voices for all the characters. Expect them to Присоединиться in, and act offended when they don't.

53. Count down to some obscure Harry Potter event, whether it's Dumbledore's birthday, или when a Harry Potter DVD comes out. Keep saying: "87 (86, 85, etc.) еще days!" in the middle of every conversation Ты have with your friend. Smile in a superior way when they ask what you're counting down to.

54. Start talking about a deceased Harry Potter character and suddenly burst into hysterical tears.

55. Refuse to be comforted.

56. Ask them to help Ты study for your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's.

57. Knit them hats and insist that you're just trying to liberate them.

58. Talk to Животные and insist that they're Animagi.

59. Treat them to lunch and then suddenly realize Ты can't pay for the meal since the restaurant doesn't accept Galleons, Sickles, или Knuts.

60. Run up to Болталка men with long, dark hair and scream, "SIRIUS! I always knew Ты were alive!"

61. Point at modern electronic devices and loudly say, "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with..."

62. Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper about the evils of our society ( Namely, Death Eaters and discrimination against friendly werewolves).

63. Send them numerous letters informing them that they have been selected to attend Hogwarts.

64. Carry around a shiny rock and proclaim that Ты possess the Sorcerer's Stone.

65. Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

66. End every converastion and/or letter with "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

67. ...refuse to provide an explanation.

68. Tap all brick walls Ты encounter with an umbrella.

69. Say "Lumos" when turning on a light.

70. Point and grunt and insist that you're speaking Troll.

71. Refuse to wash your hair and explain that you're going for the Snape look.

72. Spend hours at a time trying to get your метла to fly.

73. Invite them over for the night and force them to watch the first three Фильмы with you.

74. If they leave for any reason, restart the movie and tell them it's the Time Turner scene.

75. Shriek loudly and insist that you're speaking Mermish.

76. If you're asked to retrieve something, shout "Accio!" loudly.

77. ...when this doesn't work, throw a fit.

78. Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber утка is.

79. Talk like Hagrid.

80. Point to garden gnomes and say, "Silly Muggles don't have a clue about what gnomes look like!" in a very loud voice.

81. Take them to a CD store and make them help Ты look for the newest Weird Sisters album.

82. Yell "Avada Kedavra" anytime they give the anti-HP lecture, then fake excruciating pain as your soul rips in two.

83. Write "Enemies of the Heir, BEWARE!" in red paint on their wall.

84. When confronted about the message, refuse to take responsibility and/or explain it further.

85. Hum Hedwig's Theme constantly and be sure to include any crescendos, decrescendos, accents, etc.

86. Petition to have Hedwig's Theme become the new National Anthem.

87. Wear all black and explain that you're in mourning over the death of "The Only One He Ever Feared."

88. ...when asked for am explanation of this cryptic title, cry hysterically.

89. Replace their entire movie collection with the Harry Potter films.

90. If they ask Ты about the weather, solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

91. Print this out and use it as a checklist.

92. Insist that they subscribe for your new Harry Potter newsletter and when they say no, act like you've been seriously offended.

93. Potter Puppet Pals, anyone?

94. Knit them a maroon jumper every год - especially if maroon isn't their color.

95. When taking the stairs with them, stop and insist that Ты have to wait because the staircases are moving.

96. If someone turns off the lights, make a loud cracking sound and pretend to Apparate to the other side of the room.

97. Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone offers you.

98. Toss a small handful of sand and yell out, "Diagon Alley!"

99. If Ты go to a train station with them, loudly ask Болталка people if they know where Ты can find Platform 9 3/4. Do this in an extremely fake British accent.

100. When your friend is checking sports scores, ask them if they can find out the score of the latest Quidditch match.

101. If they refuse, complain (loudly) that Ты missed the semi-final match between the Chudley Cannons and the Wimbourne Wasps and Ты need to know who will be advancing to the finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes.

102. At your Далее sleepover, draw a lightning-bolt scar on your forehead, and just as your friend is drifting off to sleep, grab your forehead and start screaming that Ты dreamed Voldemort killed your parents.

103. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Переместить the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.

104. When at a train station with them, repeatedly throw yourself against the Стена between Platforms 9 and 10. If someone asks if Ты need help, state in a panicked voice that you're going to miss the Hogwarts Express, and do they have a flying car that Ты could borrow?

105.At Болталка moments, pick up a wand like object and run around a room, screaming deadly curses and disturbing jinxes. Then collapse, act faint and say that Ты must be immediately to St. Mungos for Ты had been placed under the Imperius curse. When not taken, repeat the process.

106. While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

107. Throw the chessboard across the room when the pieces don't move.

108. Invite them to play "find the Horcrux" with you.

109. Tell them you're wearing an invisibility cloak, then hide.

110. Say "Knock knock." When the person says "Who's there?", say "You Know." When they say "You Know Who?", roll on the floor laughing. When they say they don't get it, become very offended and refuse to explain.

111. Wear mismatched clothes and if someone asks Ты why say it's because Ты can never keep up with the muggle fashions.

112. Send out birthday party invitations for a Harry Potter character. Be sure to call everyone who doesn't respond and ask them if they're coming.

113. On the first день of school, ask all of your teachers if "Hogwarts, a History" will be required reading.

114. In casual conversation, mention things you've been taught by Professor Flitwick.

115. Call your local station или cable provider and ask if they will be carrying the Chuddly пушка games this season.

116. Write all letters to сказал(-а) person on parchment with quills.

117. Whenever they read the newspaper in public, complain loudly about how Scrimegeour is paying them to keep the big stories quiet.

118. Drag them along to the nearest place that has old brick buildings, pull out your розовый umbrella, and start tapping the bricks - explain that you're looking for Diagon Alley.

119. Whenever it's foggy outside, scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

120. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Переместить the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.

121. Insist the radio is called a Wizarding Wireless Network.

122. When travelling long distances, insist on going by Floo Powder - while grabbing a handful of soil from the nearest flowerpot.

123. Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

124. ..refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

125. Speak in a loud harsh voice at Болталка moments and make predictions about people. Then, use your normal voice again and pretend that Ты don't remember anything.

126. Constantly remind them that you're Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.

127. Walk up to Болталка people and ask them if their initials are R.A.B.

128. If they say no, give them a dirty mistrusting look.

129. If they say yes, then tackle them and demand that they hand over the Horcrux.

130. Yell "Crucio" at drivers who cut Ты off.

131. Call them every night and ask what the Transfiguration homework is.
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posted by ITF
by Jami Sassone

The man with the metal rod returns today
He summons me in the most painful way
It burns. It stings. It's scorching hot.
I yell, "please stop!" He will not
Why?

To the rack; I brace for the worst
He violates me again; this time's not the first
Back to my cage, to wonder how long
Yearning for Ответы to what I've done wrong?

Nine months later the answer arrives
I now have someone for whom to survive
Three times I've felt love, one being today
Three times, as well, it's been taken away.
Why?

My молоко is for you, not him all
You enjoy what Ты eat, but remember my calls
When the cheese melts nicely...
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блины can be found in many cultures around the world, although they might not use the same ingredients as pancakes, they are generally similar in taste and texture.

Maple syrup, which goes great with pancakes, is actually a дерево sap, that comes from the кленовый, клен tree, which is found mostly in the Canadian region.

The French often make a wish while turning the pancake during the cooking process, while holding a coin in the other hand.

The first recipe for блины were listed in the 15th century, in a English cookbook.

The world's largest pancake was cooked in Roch-dale Manchester in the год 1994,...
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NOT SLASH!
Note: I can not freaking write ;3;
--------------------------------
Jaime couldn't believe how much the newest team member, the hyperactive teen speedster from the future, had seemed to enjoy being around him. It seemed whenever they were even in the same room together Bart would rush over to start talking to him. He didn't know why his new friend had liked him so much, he liked everybody on the team, but not near as much as him.

It wasn't anything extremely close, but it was close as two guys could get without being gay. That may sound strange, but it's pretty much the only way one...
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posted by sideshowbobbart
1) Ты will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy looking leaf

2) Ты will check the Fridge to see if any Еда has magically appeared

3)You hate it when its all quiet and Ты are eating something crunchy

4) The guy who discovered milk...what was he doing to the cow?

5) When we were little, why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

6) Ты hate it when Ты run out of hot water in the middle of a shower

7) It sucks when Ты are in the middle of a huge argument and realize Ты are wrong

8) Ты think of the best thing to say to your rival 10 минуты after the right moment

9)...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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Abounding times in your life Ты will meet mean или rude people that Ты dislike, but you'll still have to pretend to like them anyway. This Статья will teach Ты all about how to deal with them.

1)Look right at them say their name and ask them politely to stop. Keep repeating until their attitude changes или they stop. Example "Mike, please stop", или Ты can say, "That's not appreciated, please cut that out." Don't keep increasing aggressiveness until the balance of power is equalized, it just will make things worse.
2)Don't try to be better than them, it will make the situation worse. If they...
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One день a group of girls were having fun and being crazy, laughing and talking to each other in funny voices, careless of what the other kids at school thought of them. A girl walked up to them and told them they were all pathetic losers, giving each of the girls a different insult. She then walked away with her head held high. All the girls looked at each other and burst into laughter. The mean girl turned around and asked
“Why are Ты laughing? I just insulted all of Ты losers”
“Well, we just find it hilariously pathetic how Ты feel Ты have to take the time to make fun of us. Ты obviously...
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posted by j-bfan7
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All день long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A крыса survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for Собаки are sold in Tokyo

6. A дельфин sleeps with one eye open

7. A крокодил can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast Музыка makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs еще than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia...
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posted by starwarsfangirl
These are just Болталка ways to eat my Избранное cookies: oreos.
A lot of these sound really weird and gross, but they're actually pretty good.

1. without milk
2. with milk
3. with chocoloate milk
4. with клубника milk
5. frozen
6. Холодное сердце with milk
7. Холодное сердце with warm milk
8. with honey
9. in ice cream
10. in Холодное сердце yogurt
11. in Холодное сердце yogurt with honey
12. with 7up
13. with арахис butter
14. Холодное сердце with арахис butter
15. Холодное сердце with 7up
16. with арахис масло, сливочное масло and 7up
17. with вишня 7up
18. Холодное сердце with вишня 7up
19. Холодное сердце with арахис масло, сливочное масло and вишня 7up
20. by itself

If Ты try any of these and like it, please write a Комментарий and tell me which one(s) Ты tried. :)
Five easy ways that lemons can kill you. (some of these are ironic, but if Ты think about it, sometimes they can happen!!!)

1. A лимон is lying on the вверх step, and Ты are carrying your laptop in your hands when your about to go down the steps. секунды later Ты land on your ass, and Далее Ты are in the hospital with a severe concussion.

2. A лимон is sweet and fresh, and your mother uses it in her cooking. of course, she doesn't see the bite marks on the back of the лимон that was created by your dog when the basket was too close to the edge a few days ago, so she squeezes the лимон into her...
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