Болталка Club
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1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation by saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall или any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way Ты laugh as Ты wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt или Uncle. If Ты dare, hug them.
5. While passing a Болталка stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a mixture of anger and sadness.
6. Follow a stranger around. If they notice, take a Болталка small object like a brick или a bar of Шоколад and hold it up to your ear, pretending to be busy conversing on it.
7. Skip. Don't walk.
8. Walk up to them and ask them if they are some celebrity that looks nothing like them. Opposite gender, if Ты dare. Examples: Old man - Justin Bieber, middle aged woman - Chuck Norris, young adult man - Batman.
9. Call Болталка numbers while passing strangers.
10. If somebody asks Ты for directions, look them right in the eye, try to stare them down, then walk away.
11. Burst into a short fit of dance every once in a while.
12. Ask a stranger a trivial question, like the time of day. When they answer, suddenly make your expression extremely serious and sober and say. "I see. Look... I was never here, got it?" If Ты have any small cash on Ты you'd be willing to give up like a dollar или a quarter, give it to them.
13. Introduce yourself to strangers. Then say "Just please don't tell Big Brother."
14. перфоратор, удар, пунш yourself in the face randomly. But make sure someone notices it, cause it would be a shame to let it go to waste.
15. If you're under 18, sing "Too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my kids, too sexy for my mother-in-law..."
16. If you're 13 или over, mutter "I don't get it, I don't WANNA go to kindergarden!" But mutter it loudly enough for someone to hear you.
17. Randomly shout out "You people are all crazy!"
18. Introduce yourself to strangers like this: "Hi, I'm {insert your name here}, I'm {insert your age here} years old, I'm married, twice (your age doesn't matter) and my best Друзья are some funny people in white coats who call me "clinically insane." Do Ты think I'm cute?"
19. Spray the floor/ground with disinfectant.
20. Giggle, suddenly become very sober, repeat.
21. Brush your teeth, shave или both in a public place.
22. Take out a lolipop and start sucking it. When a stranger walks by, offer it to them.
23. If a stranger asks Ты something (e.g. directions, the time of day), answer it by saying "That's what Ты think" или "You don't need to know."
24. Tap a stranger on the back as if Ты want to ask them something. When they turn around, say "Quark," then walk away.
25. Tap a stranger on the back as if Ты want to ask them something. When they turn around, run away giggling.
26. In a public place like a mall, take out a skipping rope and start skipping.
27. Run/walk up to a stranger and exclaim "Look! Behind you!" When they turn around and see nothing, say "Never mind."
28. Walk up to a stranger and preach a parable to them.
29. Have a blank rectangle of paper on hand. Walk up to a stranger and give it to them, saying it's "my card."
30. If a stranger wants to ask Ты a question, exclaim "Excuse me, I'm on the phone." Unless Ты actually ARE on the phone when they ask you, in which case tell the person on the other line angrily, "Excuse me, stop being so rude! Can't Ты see someone's trying to ask me a Вопрос over here?!" Then hang up (or pretend to) and tell the stranger "I'm sorry, Ты know how insensitive people can be. So, what did Ты want to ask me?" They had it coming, anyway.
31. Walk up to a stranger and tell them in a debative tone, "I disagree. I'm a die-hard Sonic the hedgehog fan."
32. Wait for the elevator to come without pressing the button.
33. Wear a business suit, портфель and sunglasses somewhere regular.
34. When a stranger passes you, stand at attention and salute them.
35. Wear a hand puppet everywhere Ты go.
36. Показать disgust and spit on the floor. Then, act totally surprised and try to clean it up with a handkerchief.
37. Just stand around, looking confused and lost. If someone comes up to Ты and asks if you're Остаться в живых или something, politely answer "No, thank you, I had a big breakfast. But thanks for asking!" Bonus points if Ты mention "big breakfast" late in the afternoon.
38. Take out a piece of paper and write "The cake is a lie" on it. Then pass it off to a stranger any way Ты can, perhaps with the #29 method.
39. If Ты have a пицца in a box that clearly states it's from пицца Hut, Mario's, etc, или just the empty box, walk around with it declaring "Home-made пицца for sale!"
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Source: My friend
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Source: my awesomeness
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posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the медведь that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They сказал(-а) it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the изюм for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until Ты give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think Ты could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

Ты sing to me
Too bad Ты couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't Ты stick to acting?

Here Ты go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what Ты had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in Любовь with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell Ты by the Greyhound
She can Показать Ты how to stay down
I can tell Ты 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my сука watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get Ты buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make Ты bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, Ты do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can Ты feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing Ты so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A день without Ты is like a год without rain
I need Ты by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A день without Ты is like a год without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't Ты hear me calling?
My сердце is yearning
Like...
continue reading...