found this on the net:
29 Annoying Ways to Order a пицца
1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"
2. If using a touch-tone phone, press Болталка numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would Ты please stop doing that...?"
3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.
5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation Ты are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.
7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to $10.99. Please pull up to the window."
8. Ask if Ты get to keep the пицца box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.
9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.
10. Say "Are Ты sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do Ты know what it's like to be lied to?"
11. Ask to see a menu.
12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."
13. Demand imperiously, "Do Ты have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!?"
14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
16. Start the conversation by reciting the дата and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."
17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your пицца on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; или "Gimme Pizza! Ты will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"
18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."
19. Ask for a deal available from a different пицца chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)
20. When listing toppings Ты want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that Ты got "stuck."
21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that Ты won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.
27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.
28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the час to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."
29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."
29 Annoying Ways to Order a пицца
1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"
2. If using a touch-tone phone, press Болталка numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would Ты please stop doing that...?"
3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.
5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation Ты are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.
7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to $10.99. Please pull up to the window."
8. Ask if Ты get to keep the пицца box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.
9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.
10. Say "Are Ты sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do Ты know what it's like to be lied to?"
11. Ask to see a menu.
12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."
13. Demand imperiously, "Do Ты have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!?"
14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
16. Start the conversation by reciting the дата and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."
17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your пицца on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; или "Gimme Pizza! Ты will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"
18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."
19. Ask for a deal available from a different пицца chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)
20. When listing toppings Ты want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that Ты got "stuck."
21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that Ты won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.
27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.
28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the час to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."
29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."
