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posted by Nein-Nein
 The brazen бык an execution device
The brazen bull an execution device
The period known as the Middle Ages stands out as one­ of ­the most violent eras in history. This epoch, lasting roughly 1,0­00­ years, from the 5th century to the 15th­, was a time of great inequality and brutality in much of Europe.
Here are some of the devices used to punish and torture criminals :-

THE BRAZEN бык :
The Brazen бык was a hollow brass statue crafted to resemble a real bull. Victims we­re placed inside, usually with their tongues cut out first. The door was shut, sealing them in. Fires would then be lit around the bull. As the victim succumbed to the searing heat inside, he would thrash about and scream in agony.

THUMBSCREWS :
The device consisted of three upright metal bars, between which the thumbs were placed. A wooden bar slid down along the metal bars, pressing the thumbs against the bottom. A screw pressed the wood bar downward, crushing the thumbs painfully. The thumbscrews were an elaboration of an earlier device known as the pilliwinks, which could crush all 10 fingers and resembled a nutcracker.

THE RACK:
The rack was used throughout Eu­rope for centuries. The victim is tied down while some mechanical device, usually a crank или turning wheel, tightens the ropes, stretching the victim's body until the joints are dislocated. Continued pressure could cause the limbs to be torn right off. Such torture was known as being "broken on the rack," "racked," или "stretched on the rack." It could be combined with other forms of torture to make things even еще painful.

THE WHEEL:
The victim would be tied to the wheel, and then swung across some undesirable thing below -- огонь was always a good choice, but dragging the victim's flesh across metal spikes also worked well. The wheel itself could also have spikes mounted on it, so the pain came from all directions. Instead of swinging, the wheel might turn on an axle. The difference was likely immaterial to the victims.

THE STAKE:
Bein­g burned at the stake was usually the last stop for torture victims, because this form of torture was invariably fatal. Conceptually, it's a very simple process -- create a pile of dry wood with a stake at the center to tie the victim to, and then light it. The огонь does all the work.

THE PILLORY :
A pillory is a­ set of two parallel wooden boards clasped together, with holes for the neck and wrists. When opened, the victim places his или her head and arms through the holes. Then the pillory is closed, and the victim can't possibly escape.The pillory itself does no harm to the victim, though it's certainly not comfortable. The entire apparatus was usually placed on a stage in a public place -- the entire point was to humiliate and shame the victim for his или her crimes. The crowd would throw objects at the victim, such as rotten vegetables, dead Животные или feces. Stones and other blunt objects were thrown as well, which could result in painful injuries или death.

THE IRON MAIDEN:
It's an upright sarcophagus with spikes on the inner surfac­es. Double doors open on the front, allowing entrance for the victim. In one example, eight spikes protruded from one door, 13 from the other. Once the victim was inside, the doors were closed. There, the strategically placed spikes would pierce several vital organs. However, they were relatively short spikes, so the wounds wouldn't be instantly fatal. Instead, the victim would linger and bleed to death over several hours.

THE SCAVENGER'S DAUGHTER:
The apparatus consists of a hoop of iron with a hinge in the middle. The victim was forced to crouch on one half of the hoop while the other half was pivoted and placed over his back. (Imagine being placed into a giant set of iron dentures.) The torturer would use a screw to tighten the hinge, crushing the victim further and further into his involuntary crouch. Eventually, ribs and breastbone would crack and the spine could be dislocated. Sometimes the compression was so great that blood would gush from the fingertips and face.


THE BREAST RIPPER:
Torturer had a strange fixation on breasts, which were burned, branded или simply amputated. Worst of all was a device known as the Breast Ripper. It was a metal claw that pierced the flesh of the breast. The victim was tied to a wall, and then the claw pulled forcibly away, shredding the breast to pieces . It was used as both a method of punishment and interrogation -- to mark the breasts of unmarried mothers and mutilate women convicted of heresy, adultery and a host of other crimes.


THE груша OF ANGUISH:
It's unlikely, but if there could be anything worse than the Breast Ripper, it is surely the груша of Anguish. This was a pear-shaped device, with the body of the груша made up of four metal "leaves" joined by a hinge at its top, and a key или crank on one end. The груша was inserted into the vagina, anus или throat, depending on the nature of the crime committed: The oral device was reserved for heretics, while the anal and vaginal pears were used on homosexuals and witches, respectively. Turning the key opened the leaves, causing massive internal damage
 Thumbscrew
Thumbscrew
 Rack torture device
Rack torture device
 The Wheel
The Wheel
 The Stake
The Stake
 The Pillory
The Pillory
 The Iron Maiden
The Iron Maiden
 The Scavenge daughter
The Scavenge daughter
 The Breast Ripper
The Breast Ripper
 The груша of Anguish
The Pear of Anguish
posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what Ты want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee еще than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My сердце skips a beat
When Ты walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with Ты until the end

I give my сердце and my soul to you
To make Ты see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant Ты see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what Ты want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I Любовь my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a год and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted лосось (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed рис, райс in a рис, райс bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the рис, райс won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed рис, райс on your hand and put your Избранное filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled лосось on the rice. Push the filling into the рис, райс lightly. Hold the рис, райс between your palms. Form the рис, райс into a round, a triangle, или a cylinder by pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the рис, райс ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. заворачивать, обертывание the рис, райс ball with a strip of nori или sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly by americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: Ты got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I Любовь it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if Ты call right now we will also send Ты a what ever Ты call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 еще dollers shiping and handleing! Ты GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever Ты call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever Ты call it have Ты credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL день BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST звезда IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all Ты have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! ГИР EVERYONE LOVES Ты THE MOST Ты HAVE THE MOST Фан GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some Фильмы i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some Аниме movies,titanic
Here is some Музыка i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some Книги i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to Список all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!


1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound Ты get when Ты scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, Ты know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when Ты just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. рыба fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, или maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, или maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal еще hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
continue reading...
posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would дата Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd Kiss who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never дата a girl
I swear I'd still Любовь men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When Ты watch a brand new one
I’d invite my Друзья over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok Ты go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door колокол, колокольчик, белл rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will Ты give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really Болталка stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, Ты have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” сказал(-а) my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find еще crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? Ты are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.


User: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and Ты are a robot.


User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. Ты are the robot here.

User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... Ты computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So Ты admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




LOL yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do Ты hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be Главная for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and огонь hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: Ты better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell Ты why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired by their family and Друзья and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented by the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The секунда is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The концерт Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 час Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There Пение I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're сиденье, место, сиденья Ooh K Then селезень, дрейк Sad Ты Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There селезень, дрейк Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The Фаны Фаны Was Пение Along Giving Him Цветы Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For Чтение And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's день together. Emily had cooked a stupid ужин and they ate on a log by candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that Ты have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask Вопросы to a magic 8 ball and take the Ответы seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when Ты find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when Ты see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a Болталка person!
raindrops on Розы and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp яблоко strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are Ты on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. By the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty улица, уличный the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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