After dying, I went to heaven. Funny story, actually.
So after I got there, I had to wait in this big line! I didn't know what the hell was at the end of it. So about two hours later, I was at the beggining of the line. As it was my turn, I stepped up to a man wearing a flight attendant uniform.
"What's your name, mister?" He asked me
"John Richardson."
"Hmm, John Richardson, 45 years old, shot in the head, you're gonna have to wait for the Далее bus."
"Bus?"
"There are busses that take Ты to heaven. Now, Ты can wait in one of our many lovley shops of caffes."
"Damn."
I walked to a nearby coffee shop, and got a mocachino. I sat at a таблица with a goth girl and an old man.
"So, how did Ты guys die? I got shot in the head."
"I commitied scuicide."
"I died of old age."
"Oh. Must suck to be dead, doesen't it."
"I thought being dead was fun."
"OH! MY BACK!"
I walked away from the tabe with my coffe. The goth girl and old man were freaking me out.
I ended up near a Macy's, where I went in to browse. I saw a nice, розовый polo shirt. "My wife would've loved this." I said. And then my phone rang to my annoying beeping ringtone. I need to change my ringtone, I thought to myself.
"Hello?"
"The Далее bus is here. Ты can take it, John
Richardson."
"I'll be right there."
I ran to the bus station, where I coud pass the inspection. I was sitting on the bus.
"Hi and welcome to Heaven Express. This is bus 49121. We will be taking Ты to Heaven. Please enjoy the ride." She didn't give us saftey tips. Maybe because we're dead.
The bus ride was rather short and pleasant. Everybody was polite, and the bus was cleaner than my commute bus back in earth. Finnaly, the bus ride was over, and we opened the gate, and...
I woke up in my постель, кровати on Earth.