1. If using a touch-tone, press Болталка numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable. "10-4 Good Buddy!"

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line andyou're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give your address and exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their Вопросы with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on вверх this time.

10. Do not name the toppings Ты want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when Ты say "crazy bread."

12. Stutter on the letter "p."

13. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) INSIST they have it.

14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

15. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

16. Ask if Ты could just rent a pizza.

17. Ask if Ты get to keep the пицца box. When they say yes, heave asigh of relief.

18. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long"i" sound.

19. Ask to have your пицца "shaken, not stirred."

20. When they say, "What would Ты like?" say, "Huh? Ты mean now?"

21. Say it's your friend's birthday and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your friend to arrive so Ты can surprise him/her.

22. Ask if the delivery person could first bring Ты a menu.

23. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

24. Order two toppings, then say, "No, that won't work. They'll startfighting."

25. Tell the order taker, to tell the manager, to tell his supervisor he's fired.

26. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

27. Try to talk while drinking something.

28. Ask if the пицца is organically grown.

29. After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does."Simulate a cut off.

30. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a Описание to go with the term. Ask to have your пицца "spanked".

31. When listing toppings Ты want on your pizza, include another pizza.

32. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

33. Put them on hold.

34. Tell the order taker that Ты will have to give him your order in secret code.

35. Make the first topping Ты order mushrooms. At the end of your order, say, "No mushrooms, please."

36. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it,do you?"

37. When you're дана the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

38. Haggle for a better price on your pizza.

39. Order a four-inch pizza.

40. Ask if any dolphins had to be killed to make your pizza.

41. Tell them that Ты don't have any money, but could swap them a piece of your furniture for a pizza.

42. Order a steamed pizza.

43. When they ask "Is that all?" reply "We'll find out, won't we"

44. When they ask what kind of пицца you'd like say "Surprise me" then hang up[but give them your address beforehand]

45. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "The last guy let me do it."