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1) Go to Souper Salad, Fill a cup with Ice Cream and put oreo печенье with Шоколад Syrup in it. Mix well with a spoon and enjoy. (I did that today :p)

2) Get молоко and put in a Шоколад bar. Let it rest for 5 минуты and then freeze it for 1 hour. Enjoy.

3) Go to the store and buy a bucket. Fill it with ice cubes made of milk. Put in Шоколад powder. Churn and enjoy.

4) Go to walmart and open up one fresh bucket of VANILLA ICE CREAM. Go to the spoon section and put in Шоколад syrup into the ice cream. Mix well and enjoy.

5) Get a job at an ice cream shop. Ask if Ты can work the ice cream maker. If Ты can't, cry and beg until Ты can. Enjoy

6) Go to your mom's room and get her Шоколад colored lip stick. Put it inside a fresh glass of water. Wait till the water gets murky. Freeze it and enjoy.

7) Get a piece of paper. Draw a Шоколад ice cream. Cut it out and eat it.

8) Go to a birthday party and meet a clown. Beg him to make Ты a Шоколад ice cream balloon. If he has "excuses", cry. Wait for him to make the ice cream balloon and bite into the balloon. Enjoy. (Warning: May hurt lips)

9) Get someone to sit in a toilet and do number two. Tell the person no to flush. When they live, put ice into the toilet and churn it all with a giant spoon. Put in молоко and sugar. Enjoy.

10) (Lazy way) BUY ICE CREAM!!!
added by dimentioSPM
Source: DA
added by poniesaremybffs
added by Albino
Source: Ты
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added by KanonKyu
Source: made by me - KanonKyu
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added by lexidude92
Source: meh?
posted by zutaradragon
    Police are investigating a огонь at a local school building, which was full of what are now dead children and teachers. или at least, presumed dead, as no bodies have actually been found. There was only one person left: a seemingly deranged babbling female teacher speaking of a giant blob, of sorts. The police instantly dismissed her ramblings as those of a traumatized and stressed mind and went back to work. Their investigation turned up large amounts of sulfur, which was very odd and completely unexplained. Most dismissed it, saying that the science labs must have just...
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I see Shinobu in the back.=^=
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are Ты really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he сказал(-а) that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can Ты tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern день issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Любовь или hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years назад were blacks дана the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xneville_rocksx
1. Know how to make Ты smile when Ты are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but Ты always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give Ты the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind Ты and put his arms around Ты

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer Ты plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of Любовь .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when Ты take...
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Preferably shouted.

"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO Ты WEIGH

HA-HA-HA-HA

Ты CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY Ты HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

OH!

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY день (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

сука WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT жопа, попка CUZ Ты CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."

--

Happy Holidays~