1.A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde Ответы "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail"

2.Why did the blond пересекать, крест the road?

I dont know.

Neither did the blond.

3.A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish Ты guys could get your act together. Just yesterday Ты take away my license and then today Ты expect me to Показать it to you."

4.A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the вверх of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.

When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.

When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.

When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

5.Did Ты here about the blond that...

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box сказал(-а) "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions сказал(-а) 1 час per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.


6.A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"And then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"And then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

7.A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

8.I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 минуты looking at the оранжевый сок box because it сказал(-а) "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to постель, кровати to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took Ты to the airport and saw a sign that сказал(-а) "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

9.Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the вверх is down".

10.A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back Главная and dyes her hair black.

The Далее день she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk сказал(-а) he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes Главная and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do Ты know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"