Болталка Article: Smart insult Цитаты

71

posted by AlxanderRfan

I don’t know what makes Ты so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told Ты to be yourself simply couldn’t have дана Ты worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t Ты have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let Ты mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are Ты always this stupid или are Ты making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like Ты before – but I had to pay an admission.

If Ты took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d Любовь to help Ты out…now, which way did Ты come in?

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

So now we know why some mammals eat their children…

Do tell me all about yourself. I enjoy horror stories.

One should forgive one’s enemies, but not before they are hanged.

You’re so fake, Барби is jealous.

I may be fat, but i can exercise, Ты can’t fix ugly!

They just ran out of brains by the time Ты got there, so they gave Ты a nice wood carving instead.

Well, they do say opposites attract…so I sincerely hope Ты meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I called your boyfriend gay, then he hit me with his purse

If brains were money, you’d be a charity case.

I’d Любовь to ask how old Ты are, but unfortunately I know Ты can’t count that high.

All день I thought of you….I was at the zoo.

Don’t hate me because i’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.

Go ahead, tell them everything Ты know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

How did Ты get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’d curse Ты to look ugly, but I think I missed the rush.

I never knew brains had an off switch

Did Ты fall from the stupid tree?

Did Ты have a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

Sure, I’ve seen people like Ты before – but I had to pay an admission…

You’ve got the perfect weapon against muggers – yer face.

bitches talk shit like they know me ; but truth is if I had a dick they’de be the first to blow me.

___________________________________________________________

I found a alot of Цитаты that one day, soo i decided to post it.
For me this is actually quite useful.... >:D

deathding, KimberlyC_ and 69 others like this

jessieinCA Haha thanks so much! I read all of them and I know exactly who to say them to.

RapQueen111 I added this to my favorites!!! To awesome!

tracytracy2000 My favorite I called your boyfriend gay, he hit me with his purse

XxEmolovexX epic. xD

nessienjake :))))))))))))))))

Oandy Is great i love ithttp://images.fanpop.com/images/emoticons/laugh.jpg

Damon-Bamon12 Thanks so much because I've got a lot of haters... long story. XD

Puffedwarrior #7 and #31 are the same thing, just saying (: I'm going to use some of these! XD

EmzLovesCheryl Thankyou! Right, now where's that bitch..

BJA ♥d them!

skins-01-fan Haha these are priceless! Thanks 4 posting!

Bookruler133 Those were funny!

secret-roses LOL i am so gonna use these! My enemies, beware...hahahah

monkey0502 :)) SOOOOO FUNNY!!!!! "I called your boyfriend gay, he hit me with his purse," is my fave.

MsMindlessAztec They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead. i am SOOO using this one on my cousin!!

Renesmee_08 I waz cracking up the whole time

Tigerlily11944 This is epic im about to use this on all my haters in school. Mwahahahaha ill make them suffer for their past insults to me!!!!

dylquesne letter to the editor: people of america are nothing but lackluster followers. a bunch of losers doubling as "users" and as "twitter followers" and as "couch potatoes," intently keeping tabs on "facebook friends" as well as favorite stars in the media. it is no wonder the united states of america has fallen from first place (and god's grace). before i get started with idiot-bashing of facebook users and moviegoers, gays and feminists and obama supporters, i would like to introduce my website that's full to the brim with the same hatred of "progressivism" that the media gives to "conservatism" and LEGITIMATE christians, as well as self-respecting people who are grounded in reality. my website is obamamakesmeracist.com, and i am not ashamed to shout it again from the highest mountain that 1) www.homosexualityiswrong.com and 2) to teach women that they are indeed of the lesser gender, there should be a campaign to www.legalizerape.org. now let me continue with my letter. i had to change to the "people of america are" that i wrote in the first paragraph from the "we are" that i had initially written, because i didn't feel comfortable including myself in a society obsessed with other peoples' lives (or the "social media" craze). actually, the only reason i use facebook is because facebook makes it so easy to spread the good news of...myself. (ha, you thought i was going to say "jesus christ," didn't you?) my good news is contained in letters (i maintain that they are essays) like this...as well as on my jagged little website, and i use facebook because there's a "facebook plugin" on oh-so many websites asking for comments...and facebook makes "comment dropping" an easy thing to do. let me be your bull for a few minutes, for i would love for you to read my droppings. personally, i can't believe that people even have the interest to read through the opinions of other people, and i can't believe that anyone has enough perseverance to keep them reading though a peice that is chock full of spelling mistakes (please, no comments from the peanut gallery), but if they're intent on reading then i'll be intent on writing...just to slap them in the face with my two cents. or tuppence. actually, i am a little resentful because the whole "social networking" obsession has done a complete disservice to the internet. with so many people making use of their internet-capable phones to augment their semi-charmed kinds of lives, even 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, they are not able to fully experience the internet because the screen on their phones is as small as their own levels of self-reliance. the reason i am resentful of internet-capable phones is because my own websites (jaggedlittledyl.com and dylanswebpage.com and dylanswebcam.com) are a metropolis of homosexuality-compromising satire and Strongwoman-questioning ridicule, delivered through mountains of creative writing (song parody, screenplays, shirt designs and more) and one smaller mountain of the audio/video persuasion, and it cannot be fully appreciated if viewed on anything smaller than a tablet pc. getting back to the (l)users who rely on "social networking" as their apparent life-preserver, i could bring up the joiners who were murdered at the latest batman movie and suggest that they were losers who used movies to get them through their semi-charmed kinds of lives. i don't believe these people were wronged to have been murdered, given that they weren't real people and that they were only brainwashed zombies/products of the media. even the little 6 year-old girl, i say "good riddance" to them all, because what will society become when society is made up of people who've grown up with a reliance on "the latest fashion," to take a song title by prince, that tells them what to do with themselves? i've said it before and i'll say it again: it's no wonder the united states of america has fallen from first place. people are little babies with pacifiers, americans should mature away from using diapers and food-stamps, government-funded cell phones and the "i need the president to help me" affirmations of peggy joseph. "social networking" is a pacifier to get these dependent americans through their semi-charmed kinds of lives. sex is a pacifier of the same kind...even worse, homosexuality is a pacifier when a man isn't man enough to get him through his (semi-charmed kind of) masculine existence. people of the united states of america have to grow up, they have to start taking responsibility for their own lives without the help of movies, "social networking" or sexual gratification...or even "the latest fashion," they have to become independent enough to pacify themselves without relying on other peoples' beings (or productive peoples' creations) to entertain them. until society grows up, i fear that there will be more people who are rightfully angry at all the dependents of the democrat party. so angry, that they'd go to a breeding-ground for these dependents (be it another batman movie or to a group started on meetup.com) and just start blowing peoples' heads off with firearms obtained from mexicans. (criminals will find ways to get guns, even if the white house-negro bans them). dylan terreri, i www.jaggedlittledyl.com -------------------------- "When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays -------------------------- *** Get Your Free E-mail Address At www.obamamakesmeracist.com *** Yet another production of www.jaggedlittledyl.com, LLC --------------------------

sexygirl007 thanx now i could get my haters back

Болталка pie :P

added by mina27

1

Russia

added by SymmaGirl2

Mohawk

added by loonybug

Source: tumblr

Girls i think are pretty

added by loonybug

Death the Kid: The Face of OCD

added by H888H

Random(:

added by CourtneyKatara

Болталка ^-^

added by h2o-fen-site

94

Фантастическая живопись

added by Rodz

Source: desktopnexus

3

Prank call ideas xD

posted by BlackSunshine

I found this and I think some of them are hilarious xD

Prank Call Idea #1
This is an oldie and I have been the victim for the same!
You call up the person and ask for a person name Joey. Since there really is no Joey, the obvious answer would be, ‘You’ve got the wrong number’! Call up the person many times during the день или week and disguise your voice in varied accents and ask for Joey. After a few days, call up your victim and say, ‘This is Joey. Have Ты taken any messages for me?’ I am sure the person at the end of the line would probably want to strangle Ты with the telephone wire...

4

Cowboy Sayings And Цитаты

posted by Liepe

For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If Ты climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a бык from the front, a horse from the rear или a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean Ты have to offer it a place to sit down.

If Ты find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....

8

cool background

added by 27-5

2

yeah! forever young! :)

added by 101trx

Source: i found it. :)

Akiza Izinski

added by Ami_Mizuno

11

179 ways to annoy people

posted by bubbletl

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Ты think."

7. Claim that Ты must always wear a bicycle шлем as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...

18

19 Things to do in a waiting room

posted by InvaderStickly

1. Back away from each person saying, "EW! GERMS!"

2. Sit in someone's lap and say, "I'm afraid your going to die, Jimmy."

3. Bring a radio and play screamo music.

4. Every once in a while, ask a doctor, "IS IT MY TURN YET?!"

5. Ask everyone why they're just sitting there.

6. When Dorah comes on, sing the lyrics.

7. Grab toys such as Барби Куклы and scream, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Look, Mr. Stuffy Wuff is happy!"

8. Yell, "IT'S A TRAP!" and tackle a Болталка patient.

9. Poke at someone's scab and yell, "IS THIS SCAB EATABLE?!"

10. When your finally called on, yell, "FINALLY! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

11. Go up to...

20

Annoying things to do at walmart

posted by emmett

Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart

Hilarious Ways to be annoying!

"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the Холодное сердце Еда doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps Ты out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Рождество time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if Ты can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...

3

Moustache Пикачу FTW

added by Pokemon_melody

Source: Tumblr

3

10 things girls should know about guys

posted by Bond_Of_Fury

Jeez, so many lists about girls telling guys what they should do when imposing them and such... It's time to extinguish those high standards, with some cold, hard, facts about us. Fighting огонь with fire. *puts on sunglasses* Oh yeah.

So girls, here's a Список about boys, by a boy.

Guys look, but don't flirt!
1. We look at other girls often, as ashamed as some of us might be about it. We're just naturally distracted. It, however, doesn't mean we're flirting with them straight away. Here's a Вопрос I'd like to ask all girls in a relationship. What are Ты expecting your boyfriend to do, cheat on...

1

Любовь Цитаты

added by cynti19

Source: via Yahoo! Поиск

48

63 ways to annoy your cop

posted by Joe1996

1. When Ты get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend Ты are deaf.

4. If he asks if Ты knew how fast Ты were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if Ты can see his gun.

6. When he says Ты aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend Ты are gay and ask...