Felt like I've been howling for - forever (?).
It seems like it's all I did these past few months.Geez...MONTHS!

Howling in grief, in desperation. Does she care? I don't think so. She's happy - happy beyond the borders of sanity, I realized bitterly.

I pushed forwrd with all my might, as fast as these four legs can. The bloodsucker drove even faster, I thought disdainfully.I howled once more.

I could hardly see their vehicle - the vehicle that would bring her to her doom - a doom she happily embraced.

I will kill you! I swear I will! I vowed.
I wished with all my сердце the bloodsucker could still hear my thoughts.

The tail lights are now fading. Like her, she's fading away from me.

I stopped. I can't catch up on her, try hard as I might, I can't. I realized I've always tried to catch up on her, tried to include myself in her perfect happy little world, not merely as her friend. I craved to play a bigger role. I could have been good for her.I howled once more.More grief - I succumbed to it.

I'm so sorry, man.. It was Seth. I growled, baring my teeth. The pack shied away from my thoughts. They knew better than to wallow tith me.

Oh! so, they pity me now?

I don't need your pity! I thought vehemently, arrogantly. I already pity myself, I thought weakly as I slowly lower myself on the ground. I shook my fur. I tried to shake the tears away, too. I covered my eyes with my paws, then whimpered.

All my efforts to keep her safe, alive - wasted! She's a sucker for death wishes. The girl who stirred - longing, grief, desperation, hopelessness, Любовь - all these inside me - thinking of her cold, lifeless - I cringed.

There's nothing Ты can do now, Jake. Quil thought.

Go away! Stay out of my mind!I really wish they could. I need to be alone - to suffer alone.

I let еще suffering seep into my whole consciousness.

The first time I saw her down at the beach.

The first time I danced ackwardly with her at her stupid prom.

The first time she brought me those darn motorcycles.

The first time I watched a movie with her - while Newton was gagging.

The first time I saved her life. The first time I realized I can't live without her.

The first time I realized I Любовь her with all my might.

The first time I kissed her, held her in my arms.

The first time I begged her to stay with me, to choose me.

The first time she realized she Любовь me, too.

The time she admitted, it wasn't enough.

The time I danced with her - and she officially belonged to another.

OUCH!

All those firsts, I'll glady relive them, pain included, over and over again, if it only means I won't lose her. How many times do I have to lose her? After all the firsts, I hope this would be the last.

Phase back, Jacob. Billy's concerned. Sam thought.

I can't. I won't be able to endure this. I thought

Jacob... Sam tried to start.

Command me to phase back, then. I thought bitterly.

Finally, silence...I'm already falling apart. All the broken pieces of my сердце - shattered, minced even more.

If only I could forget about her. But it would be like forgetting a huge part of my life. I couldn't. I wouldn't forget about her. Let all the grief and desperation start again. Let me savour it. I don't care. I won't forget her. I simply refuse to. I simply won't!

All the while, the tears never ceased...