Carmen: No.1 Prélude

………… This isn’t what it looks like, I swear……… Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like, but trust me, this is in fact a horror game. Let me repeat that. This is, in fact, a horror game, a psychological horror game, that screws with Ты emotionally and mentally, and tricks Ты by being something else… So does that mean I can review Doki Doki Literature Club without making myself look less anti-social.



…… Let me repeat myself, this is a horror game. Also, THIS ENTIRE Статья IS A SPOILER FOR DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB! DO NOT READ THIS Статья IF Ты PLAN ON READING...

I could not believe my eyes when I saw this picture, Показ Frank Sinatra playing as Dirty Harry instead of Clint Eastwood. It would be interesting to see what the movie would be like. Wouldn't it? Well thankfully, I found a clip. It was deleted from youtube, so I have to write it out for you.

Song: link

Bank Robber: *Laying on the ground, bleeding with a shotgun laying towards him*
Frank Sinatra: *Dancing towards his victim while holding his .44 винная бутыль, magnum, магнум as if it was a sword*
Bank Robber: *Tries to grab the shotgun*
Frank Sinatra: Ah ah.
Bank Robber: *Looks at Frank Sinatra*

Frank Sinatra: *Pointing...

(Link to the first episode will be in the Комментарии section for those who haven't seen it yet.)

(Hey there! Jared Potts here with the Далее exciting episode of my new Последнее hit fan-fiction series, Network 999! Seeing as how the support for the last episode was pretty incredible, I decided to make the Далее one a bit early. :D I hope Ты enjoy the Далее episode of Network 999!)

Quick Story Recap: It is the год 2087, and technology nowadays is extremely advanced.

The Internet (called Network 999) is also even еще powerful than ever. Ты see, ever since a group of scientists produced an update to...

Guys, I am not making this up, this is probably the darkest one by far. Sure, it may not be so bad when we get to later stories, but trust me, by far, this is my darkest one. So, back when I was like nine, and I was still living in a suburban neighborhood. And let me tell you, this neighborhood is like one of those late 70’s sitcoms. I mean, this place was so caucasian, that I felt like I was in a winter wonderland. But anyway, we went to this one park called Hueston Woods back when we all actually gave a shit about going outside (Yeah, imagine that. Kids actually used to go outside). Anyway,...

We all do something to spend time with our siblings. Either it’s having a fun conversation with them, playing with them, или just hanging out with them. What did me and my two brothers do when we hung out? We beat the living shit out of each other on a daily basis. So, when our little sister was still in elementary school, and my older brother still lived with us, we watched this Показать called Deadliest Warriors, where two different warriors from the past would be tested with their strength and then they would fight to the death to see who would win. It’s kinda like Death Battle if it was...

Link: Man, this job is a lot еще fun than I thought (Kills monster) I mean, when do I get to help someone by killing someone (Kills another monster) It’s very rare I get to help out someone and actually have fun doing it (Kills another monster) Okay, I think I finally have enough of these things hearts…. But, I’m in no rush (Continues to kill monsters, then, hears music) What is that? Is it an angel. I got to find it (Hears Музыка behind waterfall) What is this. The Музыка is coming from behind this waterfall (Climbs through waterfall, leading to an empty cave) Oh, a secret cave. Good...

Link: Oh, fucking finally. I thought we'd never get off that piece of shit island.
Tetra: Yeah, I mean, what kind of rewards were that
Link: Glad Ты see it my way
Tetra: And all it took was your constant bitching to convince me so it would shut Ты the hell up
Link: It's not bitching, it's complaining
Tetra: Whatever, there is the Далее island
Link: Isn't that the Forsaken Fortress
Tetra: Yeah, so what
Link: Isn't there like, hundreds of monsters, there
Tetra: Yeah, but Ты have a sword
Link: Hmm. Good point. So, what do I need to do
Tetra: Just fight some ghost to the death
Link: Can, and most certainly,...

(Some readers may find this disturbing)

So, what do Ты get when Ты get sex, rape, and poor writing..... well, pretty much most of the shit I reviewed, but what if it was a Creepypasta.... Okay, without involving My Little Pony........ Ты get Dirty Movie.
Now, lets start off with saying the main character is a porn director.... Hate this story already. Anyway, he retires, because I don't know. This couple comes to him, because I don't know, and they ask him to help with their sex life, because I don't know, and the porn director comes out of retirement to help them......... Because I don't...

Now, this is a story about the cursed Sonic game, and how it became one of the most famous cursed games ever..... Why, I have no gucking clue. Honestly, Sonic.EXE is a pisspoor story.
It starts with this guy, will call him Stupid, because that's exactly what he is, who gets a Sonic game called Sonic.EXE, which he got from his friend, and he says to not play it. Then why the hell did Ты send him the damn game.
Anyway, he starts the game up, and it shows the logo with Sonic having red eyes, the water turns blood red and the Sega logo at the bottom says "Sega 6 6 6".... And this sucks, because...

................... What the fuck.............. Seriously......... What the fuck................... What is this abomination of a fanfic................ just what the fuck is this disaster..................... Well, one things for sure, it's known only as Шрек is Love, Шрек is Life.
Now, first off, Warning, this is not something Ты want to see. Unless Ты are okay with its awfulness, turn back now. Anyway, this fanfic is, THANKFULLY, short. But, there is so much a fanfic can do in just twenty seconds. Trust me, this fanfic does it. And it is horrible. Anyway, it starts with a nine-year-old..........

Sonic X Parody - Episode 1

The following is a non profit Фан based parody. Sonic X is owned by 4Kids and the Sonic Team. Please support the official release

Robot 1: And I was like, “That’s what she said”.
Robot 2: Ha ha, that joke never gets old
Robot 1: Yeah. Anyway….. Wait, did Ты hear that
Robot 2: (Turns to see something running at them) Oh shit
Robot 1: Okay, don’t worry. We were created for this very purpose. We can do this. Shoot him (Fires at thing)
Sonic: Get out of the way (Jumps over robots)
Robot 1: ……………….. Shit
(Meanwhile)
Droid 1: Dr. Robotnik, it appears-
Eggman:...

King of Red Lions: We did it Link. We collected all eight pieces
Link: ABOUT TI- (Ahem) I mean, about time. So now what
King of Red Lions: Now we head back down to the sacred realm
Link: Now wait, before Ты do this, Ты should warn me when your going to go into- (Boat goes under water)

Link: GODDAMN IT
King of Red Lions: Anyway, Ты should check on Zelda
Link: Oh, right. How long has it been exactly
King of Red Lions: Um............. about a week
Link: ............... oh shit

Link: Tetra, are Ты still alive
Tetra: It's about time. I've been stuck in this goddamn place for weeks. I'm cold, hungry, and...

Medli: Oh, damn, I've been trying to genetically create Link by using that blood sample. Maybe I need a seaman sample as well. Perhaps I can seduce him to- Wait, if I did that then why would I need to create this clone of his in the first place
Link: Hey, Medli
Medli: Link. You've returned. I knew you'd come back for-
Link: Yeah, whatever. Listen, I need to find some psychotic bird human hybrid, and Ты fit that position well, so, come on
Medli: Wait, what would my father think
Link: I already talked to him
(Flashback)
Link: And that's why I need your daughter
Postman King: But can't Ты just take...