Alpha & Omega (film) Club
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posted by UriahA
Humphrey, Star, and Kaltag go to school again.

Kaltag, звезда and Humphrey got up and remembered they need to go to school.
“Crap, we didn’t go to school yesterday!” звезда said.
“We had driving school,” Kaltag replied.
“Do Ты think they’ll excuse us?”
“Probably, we’ll have to bring our slips.”
“Wait, but Humphrey doesn’t have one.”
“We got to make sure he could be excused.”
They got to school. When they got to school, they went to the office.
“Here’s our slips for driving school.”
“Alright Ты two are excused.”
“He was with us and we took him and…”
“That’s his problem, go to class.”
“But…”
“No buts, go to class. As for you, Ты get detention.”
“Wait, I know of a way to make it up to Ты at lunch.”
“Alright, if Ты fail, Ты get suspended.”
“Ok.”
At lunch time, Humphrey was standing in the middle of the area.
“Free humps!”
Humphrey was holding a sign saying “humps for free.”
“C’mon, guess why my name is Humphrey. It sounds like Hump for free, so, free humps!”
A campus monitor came to Humphrey.
“You know that’s sexual harassment right?”
“No, it’s to payback not being at school yesterday.”
“This is not a payback, it’s sexual harassment.”
“Well I’m paying back.”
“I’m going to talk to the secretary, principal, and vice principal about this.”
“Ok.”
“I would like a hump,” one kid that came after the yard duty left said.
“Ok, here Ты go.”
звезда came along and saw that.
“What teh hell are Ты doing Humphrey?”
“I’m doing my pay back thing.”
“What did this kid do to you?”
“No, I’m paying them back for excusing me for the absents.”
The vice principal, principal, and secretary saw what Humphrey was doing.
The ran out and carried Humphrey into the office.
“Humphrey Ты have crossed the line! You… you… you’re suspended, you’re еще than suspended… you’re… you’re…”
The principal left the office.
“What he’s trying to say is you’re expelled,” the vice principal said.
“What!?”
“I’m sorry.”
Humphrey left the school with his ears and tail down. звезда saw Humphrey walking out of the school. He ran out to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I got expelled.”
“What!?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“For sexual harassment.”
“Get over here!” a campus monitor said.
“Well, I have to go.”
“Ok.”
звезда went back to the perimeter of the school.
“Sorry.”
When Humphrey got home, he told Kate the bad news.
“Oh Humphrey!”
“It’s horrible isn’t it.”
“Yeah!”
“Alright, Ima go hang in the garage.”
“Alright.”
Humphrey grabbed a pistol on his way out. He went to the garage, hesitated, and сказал(-а) prayer to God for forgiveness right before he put the barrel to his mouth.
“God, I have mass depression, please forgive me for committing suicide.”
Humphrey pulled the trigger. Kate heard the shot.
“What the hell? That sounded close!”
Kate went to the garage.
“Oh my God! Humphrey! No!”
Kate got on her knees to Humphrey.
“Humphrey, why did Ты have to go!? The murderer wasn’t smart to leave his gun here.”
звезда and Kaltag were in P.E. when they had a campus monitor come out to them.
“A girl named Kate needs you.”
“Ok.”
звезда and Kaltag got to Kate.
“Humphrey was murdered!”
“What!?”
“He was murdered!”
“How did Ты get here?”
“Halo driving school helped.”
Kate was in tears. звезда was almost crying himself. Kaltag was a man but he was still upset. They got to the garage.
“Kate.”
“Yes?”
“Humphrey wasn’t murdered. He committed suicide,” Kaltag said.
“No! Why would he!?”
“He was probably depressed from being expelled.”
звезда and Kaltag howled for Tony, Winston, Garth, and the rest. Meanwhile, Humphrey was climbing trying to resist hell’s suction.
“Jesus, God, help me!”
Humphrey got about 5 inches away from the вверх when he slipped. He caught at about 10 feet after falling. He successfully made it to the top. He saw Star.
“Star, I’m right here.”
звезда didn’t hear him.
“Why did he have to commit suicide?”
“I just hope he’s not in hell.”
Meanwhile, Rosy was walking Balto. Rosy was about 12 years old now. They were in a neighborhood with a sex offender. They actually came upon him. Rosy fell for his trick to get into the molester’s house. She had no idea it was him. Balto tried hard to resist.
“Come on Balto, the nice man needs help.”
Rosy got into the house.
“What do Ты need me to do.”
“Strip your clothes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it!”
“To hook up radio antennas?”
“No, Ты know what? Come up here with me.”
“Ok.”
Balto followed to see what would happen. The molester, Gary, allowed Balto in because he thought Balto wouldn’t give him evidence.
“Get on the bed.”
“This is awkward.”
Balto covered his eyes.
“Balto, Ты were right! I’m sorry for denying you!”
Rosy jumped up and tried to escape but Gary grabbed her and slammed her down.
“Balto, help me!”
Balto was about to jump up when Gary exposed his knife.
“Don’t do it keep yourself alive!”
Rosy was suffering as Balto watched it all go down. Rosy and Balto left a little bit later. Rosy went crying home. Balto came to Jenna.
“What’s wrong with Rosy?”
“Jenna, I know this is hard for you, but she was raped.”
“What!?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my God!”
“I’m going to tell this to звезда and Kaltag.”
Kaltag was running to Balto to tell him the bad news about Humphrey.
“Balto, I have bad news!” as Kaltag сказал(-а) that, Balto сказал(-а) “Kaltag I have bad news!” at the very same time.
“You go first,” Kaltag offered.
“Rosy was raped!”
“What!? That’s terrible!”
“I know.”
“Here’s what I was going to say. Humphrey committed suicide!”
“Oh my God!”
“Yeah.”
“Rosy getting molested is nothing compared to that! Screw her!”
“Balto, that’s bad too!”
They got too the garage.
“We need to make a funeral for Humphrey,” звезда said.
“Right, where?”
“How about here?”
“Ok.”
The Далее day, the funeral started.
“Humphrey was my best friend. He was just loving, he was sweet, I loved him so much. He’s almost like the brother I never had. He married Kate only to die. Kate originally didn’t care for him, but now she’s married to him and crying. Kaltag, do Ты have a few words to say?” звезда said.
“Humphrey was the awesomest, to coolest, the nicest, I also loved him. He made me and my brother Любовь everyone. When Eve strangled him, he didn’t fight back. When people hurt him, he didn’t fight back, he just took it. He also had a few good nut hits if Ты know what I mean. Garth, Ты might want to speak.”
“Humphrey was a good man. A sweet, fun-loving Omega. Him and I battled for Kate, but, I’m glad he got her,” Garth said, “Dutch, how about Ты say a few things.”
“I don’t know much about Humphrey, but, I just know he was Star’s best friend. звезда is my Избранное dog, and Humphrey just made him happy. I loved Humphrey myself, and he became an ODST, that is all I have to say. Lars, Ты come up.”
“Humphrey, when he first met me, he was speechless. Now I am at a huge fan’s funeral. Poor guy, he had to commit suicide. I hope he’s not in hell.”
The rest of the speakers spoke.
“Well, Humphrey wrote this song, and We wanted to play this in sign of respect,” Kaltag said.
The song is a fast version of The Unforgiven and speeds up and slows down like Wherever I may Roam. The lyrics go something like this.
“I’m sorry but I have to go know, it’s been a wonderful life!
I have to go… to a sacred place where I will be happy.
But I have to do it myself.”
It got rocking.
“All this hell is making me want to die!
I will see Ты in Heaven, and I Любовь Ты all!
Please don’t miss me while I’m gone!
Just don’t, just don’t!”
It got slow.
“I Любовь Ты all, I wish Ты all the best of luck getting into heaven.
I Любовь Ты all, I Любовь Ты all!
And for all of my Друзья and wife, I just hope Ты don’t suffer with my absence.”
It got rocking.
“I Любовь Ты all! I Любовь all!
I wish Ты luck! My Друзья and wife don’t suffer from my absence!
Shakey, Salty, Ты helped me stay alive! Ты too, Mooch!
Kate, I’ve known Ты my whole life and Любовь you!
Star, Kaltag, you’re my long Остаться в живых brothers!
I Любовь all of Ты Metallica!
Good Bye!”
The rest was instrumental.
“Humphrey probably would want us to improve, but for now, in sign of respect, we’ll leave it how it is. DJ, Ты got it right?”
“Got it!” Mooch said.
“Cool, play it.”
Mooch turned on Rick Astley’s Never Going to Give Ты Up.
“What the hell, Mooch!”
“You all got Rick Roll’d!”
“Play our song!”
“Ok.”
He turned on their song. Humphrey approached Star, Kaltag, Balto, Shakey, and Salty.
“You all did good,” Humphrey сказал(-а) to them.
“Humphrey!” звезда yelled.
Everyone except the other 5 who saw Humphrey thought звезда was hallucinating.
“Star are Ты ok?” Kate asked.
“I Любовь you!”
Kate thought звезда was talking to her.
“I only Любовь one Omega, that’s Humphrey.”
“I Любовь Ты too Star.”
Kaltag, Balto, Shakey, Salty and Mooch joined звезда to make a group hug.
“Are Ты 6 high?”
“Can Ты not see Humphrey?”
“They can’t see me.”
“Right.”
“How was our song?” Balto asked.
“Great!”
“Cool.”
“I couldn’t stop playing the air guitar.”
“Nice.”
“Well I’m going into Kate’s vision now.”
“Ok.”
Humphrey came into Kate’s vision.
“It’s Humphrey everyone!”
“Yup, it’s me.”
“I can’t see him,” Garth said.”
“You’re high.”
“You’re high.”
“Screw you!”
Lilly came.
“Hi Humphrey.”
“You can see me too?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok.”
“Well I better say goodbye.”
“Aww!”
“This’ll be the last time Ты see me in 10 years.”
“Damn, bye Humphrey.”
“I Любовь Ты Kate.”
“Bye, Humphrey.”
“Let’s get him into the hearse,” звезда said.
“Who’s driving?” Kaltag asked.
“I will.”
“Ok.”
“Kaltag, Ты get police car #1. Garth, Ты get Police car #2 as an escort. The rest of Ты will be trailing behind us.”
Everyone left to Humphrey’s burial place.
“Alright, for a fellow deceased metalhead, we’re going to play 2 songs. Wherever I May Roam and Nightmare. Wherever I May Roam represents his trip to Heaven, and Nightmare is a good song for when a fellow metalhead dies. First Wherever I May Roam.”
They played that.
“And the road becomes my bride. I have stripped all but pride, so in her I do confide, and she keeps me satisfied…”
They got to the end of the song.
“Wherever I may rooooooaaaam!!!!”
“One еще song before it’s time to say goodbye.”
“NIGHTMARE!!!”
There was a lot of Пение because the singer of Avenged Sevenfold doesn’t play an instrument.
“Hate to twist your mind but God ain’t on your side!
An old acquaintance severed
Burn the world your last endeavor!”
They were really rocking out.
“Nothing stops the madness turning, haunting, yearning pull the trigger!
Ты should have known!
The price of evil and it hurts to know Ты belong here!
Yeah… Oooooooh
It’s your fucking nightmare!”
звезда was having trouble keeping the kick drum in tune.
“You’ve lied to!
Just to rape Ты out of your sight!
And they have the nerve to tell Ты how Ты feel!”
Kaltag quit playing his гитара for the Далее lines.
“You should have known!
The price of evil, and it huts to know that Ты belong here!”
They finished the song.
“Any last words before we say goodbye to Humphrey?”
“Yeah, you’re not going to burry a dog at this cemetery,” Ralph said.
“Screw Ты Ralph.”
The 70 people at the funeral gathered to kill Ralph.
“Can we stop now?” звезда asked
“Sorry.”
Eve stayed growling at Ralph.
“You better let us burry my son in-law here, или I‘m going to tear out your brain and shove it down your throat!”
“Screw you!”
The two “Organic” girls came by.
“Eat berries!”
“Way ahead of you,” Bella said.
“Bella, how could you!” Kaltag said.
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“Tiem for sum sexxxay pr0nzzz!” Master Chief said.
“Ok, fucker,” a taxi driver said.
“Rasta!” Little Jacob said.
“He’s going to tear out our little skulls, take off our back packs, then he’s going to hump us with his big grimony butt!” a Grunt said.
“You best not have killed my brother!” a Brute said.
“Enough of fukin LOL cats!” Master Chief said.
“All of Ты shut up!” Winston yelled.
They all heard a YAY!!!
“Bob?” звезда asked.
“Yes!!!”
“Hi Bob.”
“Yay!!!”
“We’re going to play a концерт in Sacramento now,” Lars said.
“Ok bye.”
“What should we do now?”
“Go to that concert.”
“Ok.”
“No eating meat there!” the two girls said.
“Man, Metallica already left!”
“How about we go to the концерт and see what it’s like for the other noobs who don’t hang with the band.”
“Ok.”
They rented another bus. They soon got to the amphitheater. When the 60 people got off and went into the amphitheater, there was a mom and a kid walking by.
“Look mommy, a school bus.”
“That’s awkward.”
They got to the stage area.
“Oh God, the smell of Marijuana!” звезда yelled.
“Grow some balls Star,” Kaltag said.
“I have balls for your information!”
“You got a problem with me smoking marijuana?” a guy said.
“Yeah!”
“Here, Ты smoke it!”
The Марихуана was shoved into Star’s mouth.
“Enjoy some cocaine too!”
звезда was suffocating. Tony tackled the man and put the cocaine in his mouth and the Марихуана in his nose.
“Thanks man.”
“No problem.”
They heard some heartbeats. The lights darkened.
“Yeah!!!!” James yelled.
Lars started his drumming. Kate recognized the song.
“That was just Ты life!”
Metallica played the song.
“Are Ты alive tonight!? It’s an honor to play here!”
“GO James!” Kaltag yelled.
“Alright, this is one we all like to call St. Anger!”
They played that song.
“This one a classic, let’s see if Ты recognize it.”
“Seek and Destroy,” Garth said.
“Yay!!!”
“Bob, what are Ты doing here?”
“YEAH!!!! This one’s another good one.”
They played the Unforgiven.
“Alright…”
Winston dropped to the ground.
“Ehh…”
“Are Ты ok?”
They waited a минута или two. In the back round was Master of Puppets.
“Winston, answer us,” Garth said.
Winston didn’t budge.
“Take him to first aid!” Eve yelled.
They got to first aid. About after 30 minutes, they heard Metallica say goodbye to the people.
“Kirk has a kit that can heal unconscious people.
“Wait, how did Winston pass out?”
“He could be dead.
“Kirk has that too.”
The doctor came along.
“He had a seizure.”
“How?”
“Do much action on stage.”
“Oh.”
“He’s fine now.”
“You ready to go Главная man?”
“What about Metallica?”
“They’re done.”
“Oh, I’m ready.”
They all went home