#1:
Donny: Now Ted.. Ты belong to Robert now, okay, Ты do what he says.
Ted: Ты think Ты can just get away with kidnapping?.. Nice fuckin example your setting her-
Donny: (screaming) LANGUAAAGE!!
Donny: (calm again) Sorry, sorry... Ты know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw Ты on television. And I thought Ты were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted: Can Ты just email me the rest of this story?
Donny: And I was so heartbroken. And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him. Ever.
Ted: Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt.
#2:
Southern newscaster: LOOK WHAT Иисус DID! LOOK WHAT Иисус DID! LOOK WHAT Иисус DID!
#3:
John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my медведь isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.
Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!
John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?
#4:
Frank: Ты had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on вверх of the produce that we sell to the public?
Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted: Ты got a lot of problems, don't ya?
#5:
Ted: Uh...well, Ты know, since I just returned from active duty in the Civil War, that actually sounds very appealing. Oh, wait! No, I'm sorry, that was a hundred and fifty years ago, and uh...I don't give a shit.
#6:
Ted: Marry Рождество everyone.
Helen: (screams in horror)
Ted: Let's all be best friends.
Steve: Иисус H. FUCK!
John: Dad.
Steve: John get away from that thing.
John: Bu-
Steve: GET OVER HERE!!
Helen: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! COME HERE!
Steve: Helen, get my gun!
John: Dad no!
Ted: Is it a hugging gun?
Steve: GET MY GUN AND CALL THE COPS!!'
#7:
Man: Ты break my wall! This my Главная long time! Ты break my wall! Ты bastard
men!
John: We're sorry, it was an accident.
Man: Ты bastard men! I try to make утка dinner, now plaster everywhere!
John: Chill out okay? We'll pay for it! Let's talk this out okay? What's your name? I'm John!
John: Look.. Just calm down, tell us your name.
Man: My name Wan Ming.
Sam: Ming!?
Man: (dressed as Ming the Merciless) Ты pay many dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit!
Sam: DEATH!! TO MINNG!!
#8:
Narrator: Donny was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
#9:
Lori: Can I give Ты a ride home?
John: No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.
#10:
Frank: Ты think Ты got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell Ты what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: ... You're hired.
Ted: Shit.
#11:
Ted: I met a girl; she's a cashier.
John: No way! That's awesome! We should fuckin' double дата или something, you, me and Lori and w-what's her name?
Ted: White trash name. Guess.
John: Mandy.
Ted: Nope.
John: Marilyn.
Ted: Nope.
John: Brittany?
Ted: Nope.
John: Tiffany.
Ted: Nope.
John: Candace.
Ted: Nope.
John: Don't fuck with me on this! I know this shit!
Ted: Do Ты see me fuckin' with you? I'm completely serious.
John: Alright, speed round. I'm gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, Ты fuckin' buzz it, okay? Ты got me?
Ted: Ты do it. I will tell you. Yeah.
John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin' *Becky*?
Ted: No.
John: Wait; was it any of those names with a "Lynn" after it?
Ted: *Yes*.
John: Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you!
[Ted laughs]
John: Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn...
Ted: Tami-Lynn.
John: FUUCK!!
#12:
Narrator: Despite all of Ted's fame, he still made time for John.. What happened to him?.. Well.. No matter how big a splash Ты make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber или a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
#13:
John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello!?
#14:
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When Ты hear the sound of thunder, / Don't Ты get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / Ты can suck my dick! / Ты can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]
#15:
Ted: Oh look Johnny, if we're ever gonna get serious about openin' a restaurant we gotta start plannin' it now.
John: Italian.
Ted: Italian, yes.
John: What's the special on Tuesdays?
Ted: баклажан parm.
John: Chopped салат half price.
Ted: And it's a non-restricted place.
John: Yeah. Wait, whaddaya mean?
Ted: Anybody can come.
John: Of course.
Ted: Jews are welcome.
John: Well yeah, I mean why wouldn't they be?
Ted: Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
John: Yeah, but why even bring that up?
Ted: Ты don't bring it up. Ты just let 'em in.
John: So why mention it?
Ted: No one will.
John: So why are we talking about it?
Ted: You're talkin' about it, I'm just sayin' let 'em in.
John: Yeah, let 'em in.
Ted: Exactly.
John: Right.
Ted: Good.
John: Okay.
Ted: No Mexicans, though.
#16:
John: We have been dating for four years tomorrow.
Ted: Fuck me! Nice!
John: Let me ask Ты something. Ты don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What? Like anal?
John: No... Like fuckin engagement ring,
Ted: Wait.. We been together for еще than four years..Where's my ring?.. Huh? Where's my engagement ring motherfucker!?.. Put it on my fuzzy finger Ты fuck!
#17:
Narrator: Now if there's one thing Ты can be sure of, it's that nothing is еще powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine Оружие AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
#18:
Guy: I got fuckin wasted last night, and apparently I made a letter to a man asking him to beat me up. And another letter saying thank you.
#19:
John: Ted!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive, Johnny!
John: Oh, my God!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
John: You're back!
Ted: (bizarre voice) Yeah, I mean, when Ты sewed me up Ты put some of the stuffing in the wrong places, so I'm a little fucked up. But will Ты take care of me forever and ever?
John: (pauses)
Ted: (normal voice) Hawhawhaw, I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if Ты thought I was fucking retarded.
#20:
Ted: No, see trust me I can do this.
Guy #1: Shut up.
Guy #2: Let him try it, man.
Guy #1: All right. Okay.
[Puts his hand on the таблица with fingers spread out. Ted picks up a нож and starts stabbing the таблица between Guy #1's fingers as the crowd cheers. Ted stabs faster until he accidentally stabs Guy #1's hand. Crowd gasps as Guy #1 grabs his hand and crashes into the TV stand]
Ted: What?
Guy #1: [Holding his hand where blood is oozing out of the wound] Son of a bitch!
Ted: Well Ты never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.
Donny: Now Ted.. Ты belong to Robert now, okay, Ты do what he says.
Ted: Ты think Ты can just get away with kidnapping?.. Nice fuckin example your setting her-
Donny: (screaming) LANGUAAAGE!!
Donny: (calm again) Sorry, sorry... Ты know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw Ты on television. And I thought Ты were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted: Can Ты just email me the rest of this story?
Donny: And I was so heartbroken. And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him. Ever.
Ted: Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt.
#2:
Southern newscaster: LOOK WHAT Иисус DID! LOOK WHAT Иисус DID! LOOK WHAT Иисус DID!
#3:
John: [Stammers and stands up; he speaks in a calm tone] I'm sorry little guy, but my медведь isn't for sale. See, I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.
Robert: Stand up straight when you're talking to me!
John: [Dumbfounded] Why the fuck would he say that?
#4:
Frank: Ты had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on вверх of the produce that we sell to the public?
Ted: I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted: Ты got a lot of problems, don't ya?
#5:
Ted: Uh...well, Ты know, since I just returned from active duty in the Civil War, that actually sounds very appealing. Oh, wait! No, I'm sorry, that was a hundred and fifty years ago, and uh...I don't give a shit.
#6:
Ted: Marry Рождество everyone.
Helen: (screams in horror)
Ted: Let's all be best friends.
Steve: Иисус H. FUCK!
John: Dad.
Steve: John get away from that thing.
John: Bu-
Steve: GET OVER HERE!!
Helen: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! COME HERE!
Steve: Helen, get my gun!
John: Dad no!
Ted: Is it a hugging gun?
Steve: GET MY GUN AND CALL THE COPS!!'
#7:
Man: Ты break my wall! This my Главная long time! Ты break my wall! Ты bastard
men!
John: We're sorry, it was an accident.
Man: Ты bastard men! I try to make утка dinner, now plaster everywhere!
John: Chill out okay? We'll pay for it! Let's talk this out okay? What's your name? I'm John!
John: Look.. Just calm down, tell us your name.
Man: My name Wan Ming.
Sam: Ming!?
Man: (dressed as Ming the Merciless) Ты pay many dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit!
Sam: DEATH!! TO MINNG!!
#8:
Narrator: Donny was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
#9:
Lori: Can I give Ты a ride home?
John: No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.
#10:
Frank: Ты think Ты got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell Ты what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: ... You're hired.
Ted: Shit.
#11:
Ted: I met a girl; she's a cashier.
John: No way! That's awesome! We should fuckin' double дата или something, you, me and Lori and w-what's her name?
Ted: White trash name. Guess.
John: Mandy.
Ted: Nope.
John: Marilyn.
Ted: Nope.
John: Brittany?
Ted: Nope.
John: Tiffany.
Ted: Nope.
John: Candace.
Ted: Nope.
John: Don't fuck with me on this! I know this shit!
Ted: Do Ты see me fuckin' with you? I'm completely serious.
John: Alright, speed round. I'm gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, Ты fuckin' buzz it, okay? Ты got me?
Ted: Ты do it. I will tell you. Yeah.
John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin' *Becky*?
Ted: No.
John: Wait; was it any of those names with a "Lynn" after it?
Ted: *Yes*.
John: Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you!
[Ted laughs]
John: Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn...
Ted: Tami-Lynn.
John: FUUCK!!
#12:
Narrator: Despite all of Ted's fame, he still made time for John.. What happened to him?.. Well.. No matter how big a splash Ты make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber или a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
#13:
John: [calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
[pause]
John: Hello? Hello!?
#14:
[thunder is heard outside]
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
[Ted comes running into the bed]
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: [singing] When Ты hear the sound of thunder, / Don't Ты get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / Ты can suck my dick! / Ты can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
[blow raspberries]
#15:
Ted: Oh look Johnny, if we're ever gonna get serious about openin' a restaurant we gotta start plannin' it now.
John: Italian.
Ted: Italian, yes.
John: What's the special on Tuesdays?
Ted: баклажан parm.
John: Chopped салат half price.
Ted: And it's a non-restricted place.
John: Yeah. Wait, whaddaya mean?
Ted: Anybody can come.
John: Of course.
Ted: Jews are welcome.
John: Well yeah, I mean why wouldn't they be?
Ted: Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
John: Yeah, but why even bring that up?
Ted: Ты don't bring it up. Ты just let 'em in.
John: So why mention it?
Ted: No one will.
John: So why are we talking about it?
Ted: You're talkin' about it, I'm just sayin' let 'em in.
John: Yeah, let 'em in.
Ted: Exactly.
John: Right.
Ted: Good.
John: Okay.
Ted: No Mexicans, though.
#16:
John: We have been dating for four years tomorrow.
Ted: Fuck me! Nice!
John: Let me ask Ты something. Ты don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What? Like anal?
John: No... Like fuckin engagement ring,
Ted: Wait.. We been together for еще than four years..Where's my ring?.. Huh? Where's my engagement ring motherfucker!?.. Put it on my fuzzy finger Ты fuck!
#17:
Narrator: Now if there's one thing Ты can be sure of, it's that nothing is еще powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine Оружие AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
#18:
Guy: I got fuckin wasted last night, and apparently I made a letter to a man asking him to beat me up. And another letter saying thank you.
#19:
John: Ted!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive, Johnny!
John: Oh, my God!
Ted: (bizarre voice) I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
John: You're back!
Ted: (bizarre voice) Yeah, I mean, when Ты sewed me up Ты put some of the stuffing in the wrong places, so I'm a little fucked up. But will Ты take care of me forever and ever?
John: (pauses)
Ted: (normal voice) Hawhawhaw, I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if Ты thought I was fucking retarded.
#20:
Ted: No, see trust me I can do this.
Guy #1: Shut up.
Guy #2: Let him try it, man.
Guy #1: All right. Okay.
[Puts his hand on the таблица with fingers spread out. Ted picks up a нож and starts stabbing the таблица between Guy #1's fingers as the crowd cheers. Ted stabs faster until he accidentally stabs Guy #1's hand. Crowd gasps as Guy #1 grabs his hand and crashes into the TV stand]
Ted: What?
Guy #1: [Holding his hand where blood is oozing out of the wound] Son of a bitch!
Ted: Well Ты never should have trusted me. I'm on drugs.
I made this Список before, but I guess I deleted it. Not sure why.. But it gives me an excuse to do again.. I hope I can do it better too..
10: NORMAN BATES:
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with трещина, сплит personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best villain...
continue reading...
10: NORMAN BATES:
"We all go a little mad sometimes
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with трещина, сплит personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best villain...
Robotnik says, "Snoopi-" He stopped, forgetting what he was going to say, but he quickly remembered. "Snooping as usual I see."
Before I start this story, let me go over some stuff that happened in the Назад stories.
November 23, 2012
I arrived at Ponyville, and met the six main characters of MLP FIM. The Далее день was the beginning of the Equestria War. A месяц later Canterlot got bombed, and the пони Alliance was formed to fight against Robotnik's army.
December 24, 2012
Before his death Dr. Robotnik got Discord, and Blaze the cat to take over his army. Discord...
Tom: Now this section of the video focuses on parts of our Показать where the Mane 6 made special guest appearances, или played as characters in skits. For instance, радуга Dash played as Marisa Sayers in The жопа, попка жопа, попка Inn skit.
We're starting off with that female alicorn with the voice of Ice Cube, Twilight Sparkle
Audience: *Cheering*
---
Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first день of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?
Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link
Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie...
So.. Today, we had a flashback to when Lohan killed his parents, and Anna shot him.. I forgot about this.. Pretty twisted.
And we have a new character.. He kinda reminds me of Max Payne for some reason. Too be bad, the episode was little less exciting than I thought.. Just him and Eva walking around. No excitement till the very ending.
Anyway.. Not sure what else to say. The episodes where "okay".
But hey.. They kept me watching till the end. So I guess I considered them as good ones..
:)
:)
:)
:)
LINK: link
And we have a new character.. He kinda reminds me of Max Payne for some reason. Too be bad, the episode was little less exciting than I thought.. Just him and Eva walking around. No excitement till the very ending.
Anyway.. Not sure what else to say. The episodes where "okay".
But hey.. They kept me watching till the end. So I guess I considered them as good ones..
:)
:)
:)
:)
LINK: link
#5: WINDWAKERGUY430:
So.. He may seem innocent enough, but he most gets mad at about everything.
But hey.. If a sitcom spoof that turns into a shootout for no god damn reason, is your kind of humour.. Than have fun.. Weirdo's
#4: JADE_23:
........... Thought I would of had something for Jade, but guess not.
#3: CANADA24:
Basically he's someone who reviews certain shows, like Hellsing for example, but only says "mwa" instead of actually INTELLIGENT reviews.
And most of his "humour" is no different than Wind.. In fact he steals Wind's idea a lot.. Usually making them even еще mean spirited and unfunny..
#2: AQUAMARINE
Just avoid her in general, she's weird..
#1: EVERYONE ELSE:
Their all dicks.. With an odd acceptation of people like those people that rant about селезень, дрейк and Josh. Their the REAL human beings..
So.. He may seem innocent enough, but he most gets mad at about everything.
But hey.. If a sitcom spoof that turns into a shootout for no god damn reason, is your kind of humour.. Than have fun.. Weirdo's
#4: JADE_23:
........... Thought I would of had something for Jade, but guess not.
#3: CANADA24:
Basically he's someone who reviews certain shows, like Hellsing for example, but only says "mwa" instead of actually INTELLIGENT reviews.
And most of his "humour" is no different than Wind.. In fact he steals Wind's idea a lot.. Usually making them even еще mean spirited and unfunny..
#2: AQUAMARINE
Just avoid her in general, she's weird..
#1: EVERYONE ELSE:
Their all dicks.. With an odd acceptation of people like those people that rant about селезень, дрейк and Josh. Their the REAL human beings..
I forgot about this show..
I'm not watching Death Note anymore..
For all those saying, Ты don't like it cause Ты haven't watched it.
Well, I HAVE watched it.
Truth is, I don't care about ANY of those characters, and what happens to them.
Sorry Aqua, this includes L..
So, yeah, sticking to Monster..
Here's to hoping something INTERESTING happens soon.
It's getting a bit dull..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not watching Death Note anymore..
For all those saying, Ты don't like it cause Ты haven't watched it.
Well, I HAVE watched it.
Truth is, I don't care about ANY of those characters, and what happens to them.
Sorry Aqua, this includes L..
So, yeah, sticking to Monster..
Here's to hoping something INTERESTING happens soon.
It's getting a bit dull..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#1: He CAN be funny:
But he never seems to try too hard.
Eight Crazy Nights shows how much he wastes his OWN talents..
#2: I actually LIKE his normal voice:
But, I'm guessing that he thinks it is funny to sound as annoying as possible, even though his normal voice is WAY funnier, than a tone deaf voice..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But he never seems to try too hard.
Eight Crazy Nights shows how much he wastes his OWN talents..
#2: I actually LIKE his normal voice:
But, I'm guessing that he thinks it is funny to sound as annoying as possible, even though his normal voice is WAY funnier, than a tone deaf voice..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1☆ everything i do, i do it for you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
2☆ please forgive me
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
3☆ summer of '69
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
4☆ heaven
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
5☆ run to you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
6☆ straight from the heart
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
7☆ here i am
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
8☆ somebody
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
9☆ never let go
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
10☆ kids wanna rock
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
