BEST Of EVIL PINKIE (Pinkamena):


RAINBOW: *excitedly* Than whats the plan? Are we gonna prank somepony? Cause I got plenty of fun ideas.
PINKAMENA: Better then that.. I got an idea alright. An idea that would forever change the ways most bronies would see me, even though its somewhat annoying to realize it caused so much haters, when its just a silly Крипипаста idea, that will clearly never happen, and isn't even as scary as everyone claims.
RAINBOW: And whats that?
PINKAMENA: *hopping excitedly* Making Cupcakes.
RAINBOW: Cupcakes?
PINKAMENA: *screaming* CUPCAAAAAKES!
RAINBOW: But Pinkie. I don't do baking. Remember last time..
PINKAMENA: But Dashie, I need ya. Your the special ingredient.
RAINBOW: What do Ты mean by that?
PINKAMENA: *nervously* Nothing.



RAINBOW: This... This has WAY to strong a smell for a cupcake.. Pinkie. Did Ты spill sleep drugs on it или something? I can smell the smell of sleep drugs.
PINKAMENA: *nervously* No, no, no.. Of coarse not.
RAINBOW: Prove it. Bite it.
PINKAMENA: Umm, okay.. *bites it* Ты see, it's fi- (falls asleep).


APPLEBLOOM: What flavor is it?
PINKAMENA: What is your favorite?
APPLEBLOOM: Cherry.
PINKAMENA: Than that's what flavor it is.


PINKAMENA: Well than, only one еще step..
APPLEBLOOM: What?
PINKAMENA: *pulls over tv* Ты must watch Silence of the Lambs until Ты can behave like Hanibal Lector.
APPLEBLOOM: I'll do my best.


PINKAMENA: Well, its just.. Your number came up.. And.. I gotta make cupcakes!
SILVER SPOON: What dose that mean!?
PINKAMENA: *picks up huge knife* Your about to find out.


Pinkamena: (nervously) oh. Ты know how kids are.. Always with the crazy stories.. It's not like I'm killing anyone, или anything (nervous chuckle).
Twi: I never сказал(-а) that.
Pinkamena: (even 'more' nervous) Well... Good.. Because... I'm not..
Twi: Very well.. (starts leaving)
Pinkamena: Wait., before Ты go.. I made Ты a cupcake.. (pulls out a small cupcake)
Twi: Oh. I don't kn-
Pinkamena: (sudden anger) EAT THE DAMN CUPCAKE!


Twi: Why, wha-.. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
Twi: I- I can't move!
Pinkamena: Well. duaa.. That's because your tide up silly filly.. Would of thought a smarty-pants like Ты would of known that..
Twi: But, why. What is goi... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?
Pinkamena: Well.. Your number came up Twiliy., And, well.. I don't make the rules.. I just do my job..
Twi: What are Ты talking about!?... And why did Ты hit me with a vase!?
Pinkamena: Yeah. Sorry about that.. After failing to get радуга Dash. But I had to take precautions.. Besides,. Your better anyway.. Your always away. We never get to hang out anymore.. But now.. We can be together FOREVER!


Pinkamena: (uncharacteristically angry) Goodness Twiliy. Didn't anybody teach Ты manners!?.. It's rude to fall asleep when I'm trying to talk to you!.. I was so excited when I saw Ты were next. We could be telling all our secrets and stuff. But NOOOOO, Ты keep falling alseep!.. I mean, Ты don't see coming to "your" house and falling asleep in a middle of when your talking to me!.. Your suppose to be tough, your a princess!.. I mean, I thought Ты could handle ANYTHING!?.. But I seen foals last longer then you!.. Do I have to baby you.. Is that how 'princess' Twilight wants to be rememebered!?.. As a BABY!?
Twi: Well.. That's what happens when Ты rip out my wings. And also of my lungs!..
Pinkamena: Don't be a baby.. Ponies can servive without one of their lungs.. I mean. Don't Ты watch tv!?
Twi: P Please Pinkie.. Please let me go.. I, I want to go home.
Pinkamena: I would Любовь to let Ты go.. I mean. I probably already got all that I need.. But I'm also not stupid.. If I let Ты go. Your just run straight to the Ditto and the rest of the police, and tell them I drugged Ты and held Ты in my basement.
Twi: No I- Wait? This is your baseme-
Pinkamena: Besides.. I can't tell Ты how many times I want to just say "I'm done with this mess" and go to bed.. But this is my job Twiliy.. My responsablility!.. Ты off all people shoud know the importance of responsablilities.. I mean.. This is how it has to be Twilight.. EIther way.. It was nice knowing Ты Twilight... Good bye.
Twi: Wha-
Suddenly Pinkamena, with one quick motion, slit Twilight's neck, and Twilight died within only a few seconds.
Pinkamena: (has to look away from the sight of Twilight dying).. God damn sometimes I HATE this job.


Pinkamena: Wakey. Wakey. Fluttershy..
Fluttershy: (wakes up only to discover she's tied up. And sees. Much to her horror. A huge saw like device above her head, same one from Капкейки - GET READY TO DIE) P- Please let me go!
Pinkamena: Can't.. Your on the list.. And my customers are getting wreckless again..
Fluttershy: Bu-
Pinkamena: Besides.. Remember when we were younger, and Ты called me Lie instead of Pie?
FLuttershy: I- I think so..
Pinkamena: (sudden aggression) WELL DIE FOR IT! (turns on the device, violently killing Fluttershy from off view).


Pinkamena: (winds up in a dark cave, gloating to herself about never having been caught).
Unfortunately for her, Shining Armor, wanting revenge for poor Twilight, and all the other victims (but mostly Twilight), followed her.
Without warning, Shining Armor began beating the living crap out of her.
Shining Armor: (suddenly stops after punching her face for a full 20 minutes) Wait! Wait! One еще перфоратор, удар, пунш will kill you!.. And I won't kill you.
Pinkamena: (nearly dead but somehow still smiling) That somehow means I win!.. I kill.. Go to jail.. Break out.. Kill again!.. Instant reverse!

Ditto: Okay Pinkamena.. For 218 accounts of murder... And other crimes that seem minor compared to 218 accounts of murder., electricity will be passed though your body until dead... Any last words?
Pinkamena: I, I know Иисус has forgiven me..
Ditto: ... Your joking right?
Pinkamena: (sniffs tearfully) No!
Ditto: (pulls the switch).
However, everyone forgot to wet sponge and Pinkamena dies an unnaturally painful and grousome death, to the point her head literary explodes.
Ditto: ... I suddenly want BBQ, dose anybody else BBQ?

------------------------------------------------------------

EVIL радуга DASH:


Dash: I'll explain... A thousand years ago, when Celestia banished Luna from Equestria and sent her to the moon, she was charged with three tasks. She originally was in charge of raising the sun, and showering the land with rainbows. But, with the moon being an additional task, she had to hand down the responsibility of rainbows. Celestia entrusted the Pegasi of Cloudsdale to make the rainbows for her from them on. For the first dozen years, we were дана powerful Единороги to help create Spectra. Spectra is pure pigment, pure color. Everything is full of Spectra, but Ты can't just harvest it. Ты can never separate color from an object. So it was made artificially with magic... That is, until our вверх engineers made a breakthrough. They discovered an ingenious way to extract pigment, and it was so beautiful even a simple machine could do it. But it couldn't be done with just anything. The conditions had to be right............ It had to be live ponies! Only in ponies, where magic and Spectra ran freely together! Only then could the Spectra be separated! And it was such a beautiful idea, such a wonderfully horrible idea. It worked so well; we could create exponentially еще rainbows, of better quality with real Spectra. And it finally gave us a way to prevent Cloudsdale from being tainted by all those horrible pegasus which couldn't fly! Ahahahah! *begins laughing uncontrollably*


SCOOTALOO: I can't believe after all these years, your just going to let me fuckin die! *tearing up* I thought I was your little Scoot!?
RAINBOW: Ты WERE my little Scoot.. I DID Любовь you... I tried so hard for you! I taught Ты everything I knew, in hopes Ты would pass your test! Ты had it in you, kid! I knew... I knew what they did here. Ever since I performed that Sonic Rainboom, and they approached me. I promised them to help the tradition of turning ponies into rainbows.
SCOOTALOO: Ты did?
RAINBOW: Something like that.
(FLASHBACK):
радуга Dash flies into the factory after being hired for the job.
OLD MANAGER: Alright ma'am. I'm leaving everything to you.
RAINBOW: Alright. I'll turn worthless test failures into rainbows, like in tradition.
OLD MANGER: NO! We don't do that anymore... Seriously. Ты can't turn them into rainbows.
RAINBOW: *as if feeling challanged* FUCK Ты I CAN'T TURN THEM INTO RAINBOWS!


Dash: I tried, alright! It was up to Ты to save yourself! Ты didn't just fail yourself. Ты didn't just fail Cloudsdale. Ты failed me! And that's the worst thing Ты could have done. Ты aren't just dead to Cloudsdale, now. *screaming* You're dead to me! I FUCKIN HATE YOU! *punches Scootaloo in the face, in anger, and Aurora and Orion catch her, as she tries as hard as she can not to burst into tears in front of everyone*........ I HATE Ты SCOOTALOO!! YOUR FUCKIN NOTHING!!


SCOOTALOO: I.. I can't believe it! радуга Dash is going to kill me.. ME! Her little Scoot!
ORION: Well what do Ты expect from Ashleigh Ball.
RAINBOW: What did Ты say!
ORION: I'm sorry. I was just never a Фан of her..
RAINBOW: Screw you!.. Guards!.. Him first!


RAINBOW: *off view* еще power!
Orion containues screaming the whole way through.
AURORA: *Approaches Scootaloo who still had her hooves covering mough* I'm sure this is just a big prank. And that Orion is just playing along and is still in one piece.
RAINBOW: *off view* NO! THAT'S TOO MUCH POWER!
For a unknown reason, Orion suddenly exploded and blood splattered all over, certain amounts landing on Scootaloo who screamed horribly at the sight.


RAINBOW: How cute. Ты think that you, a useless, broken pile of manure could possible stand in my way? Ты really make me laugh! None of Ты can compete with the awesome power I have! *laughs* Swag!


Dash: RAINBOW: *charging after her* Heeeeerrre's DASH!


RAINBOW: Too bad it had to end this way kid. We could of been partners Ты and I, owning the factory. As sisters...
Y,know. It doesn't have to be as sisters, it can be just as, Ты know, as two really close ponies who just happen to be both mare's, Ты know, just, two good-looking mare's sharing a cramped office running the factory together, Ты know. It's not like we get payed though, most don't even know this places exsits, and the rest of the money gose to keeping those driver quite about it all. But it's okay. We're just there. Like in temblr, Just there, just working the factory together, just, just trying to get the job done y,know? Maybe we, maybe we 'do it' occasionally but it's not weird, it's not like we would have anyone else to 'do it' with, most of them would always be dead. So their would be only be one way settle our 'needs', Ты know? Cause we're just, two mares with raging goals Ты know? I mean it's not even about the 'doing it' part, but that's a part of it, but it's not-it's not the whole thing.
SCOOTALOO: NO! I'd rather die!
RAINBOW: Well. That could be arranged. *flys over to the device's switch* Any last words Ты miserable little whore of a foal!?
SCOOTALOO: I should probably say that I find your eyes pretty.. But I don't. I really, really, don't.
RAINBOW: Ummm.. Okay. *pulls switch*

------------------------------------------------------------

EVIL BIG MAC:

Big Macintosh, in his crazed state, was now holding the cutie mark crusaders hostage, however he soon began feeling very guilty for his actions towards the fillies, and began having секунда thoughts.
Unfortunately, Scootaloo began to ruin this happy moment.
Scootaloo:
Эй, Big Mac.. Dose your mother know your gay?".
Big Mac: Wha- No!
Scootaloo: HAHAHA! SHE DOSEN'T KNOW! (strangely enough, the other two crusaders also began laughing, despite the horrifying situration they are under).
Big Mac: I meant NO, I'm not gay. Not. No. My mother doesn't not know I'm gay" Big Mac whined.
SweetieBelle: No, no, it's cool, радуга Dash is also gay.
Big Mac: No she's not.
AB: No, BUT Ты ARE! (the crusaders laugh).
Big Mac was now extremely angry and began searching around for a particaler something he left in the barn.
AB: H -Hey Big Mac. When was Mattew Mcconaughey's birthda-
Big Mac: (pulls out насос shotgun he kept in the сарай for some reason) SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!
AB: падуб, holly, холли shi- WERE'D Ты GET A GUN!?
Big Mac: Duaa. The gun store, now shut up and stay quite.
Saten: (pops his head in window) Yo, what's with all the nois- (Big Mac panicks and Saten Twist dead).
Big Mac turned back to the crusaders only to realize that they somehow managed to escape.
Big Mac: Damn it, I knew I shouldn't of left the back door open.


AJ: Y You! It was Ты wasn't it!
Big Mac: What are Ты talking you?
AJ: THAT! (pointing at Saten's body), HOW CAN Ты DO THAT!?"
Big MacL Oh, right that.. Well. He annoyed me. I mean. All those fuckin stories of him! I am WAY еще entertaining then Saten Twist!
AppleJack growled at him like a territorial dog.
Big Mac: Don't look at me like that sis. I did ya a favor.. Your always saying Ты hate that drunken douchebag.


Big Mac was quick enough that he dodged AppleJack's перфоратор, удар, пунш and grabbed her and knees her aggressively in the stomach, and as she was bent over in pain he gave her an uppercut перфоратор, удар, пунш against the face, knocking her on the ground.
He then approached her to finish her off, but she quickly sprung herself back up, doing so made her hat fall off her head, and punched him in the stomach, and the fight containued.
The fight lasted for quite some time, and was evenly matched, but in the end AppleJack, after getting advantage of the fight, pushed him away after punching him countless times, and Big Mac tripped over the spiked bat that was still in the barn. But as he was getting back up AppleJack violently bucked him across the face, breaking his nose and blackening his eyes.
AppleJack, believing him unconscious, and the fight over, began leaving, but for an unexplained reason she suddenly fell into violent caughing.
Big Mac secretly got back up, as AppleJack was distracted, looking rather spooky, as the room was still rather dark.
Suddenly AppleJack screamed in pain, and she turned around, revealing the Spiked bat having been stabbed into the back of her head by Big Mac, killing her.
Big Mac: Now get up and APOLOGIZE!


Big Mac: Hey, hey. Twilight, never noticed how HOT Ты actually are.
Twilight: (doesn't respond).
Big Mac: Hey.. How's about Ты come in. So I can rap- I mean, HANG with you
Twi: I don't have time.. I'm looking for Spike. I haven't seen him all day
Big Mac: Oh, as a matter oh fact I 'did' see him. Not that long ago.
Twi: (motherly) Well, where is he!? I want to see him!
Big Mac: Well.. He went into my shed.. People don't go into my shed! EVER!
Twi: What shed? What are Ты talking about!?" Twilight cried confusedly.
Big Mac: (laughing) Ты should of seen his
Twi: (sternly) Big mac! I am running out patience! NOW WHERE'S MY SPIKE!?"
Big: Fine. Here he is (rhows Spikes decapitated head, much to Twi's horror).
We could all imagine how terrible this must be for her, she was еще или less his big sister, and enjoyed having the role.
Big Mac: Its a good look for him, wouldn't Ты say?" Big Mac darkly joked.
Twilight, still in shock, covered one of her soft hooves over her mouth.
Big Mac laughed and shook Spike's head like a toy, making Spike's eyes go up and down like bobble heads.
Big Mac: It's fun to shake him, and watch his eyes go up and dow-
Twi: Ты SON OF A BITCH!" (punches him hard in the face).
Big Mac still had his shotgun in the сарай and grabbed it.
Twilight was fast enough that she dodged the bullets and sprinted away from the murderer.
Big Mac: Damn it, it takes me 7 минуты to reload this gun!


Big Mac: (in court room) B -But it wasn't my idea, it was HERS (reveals Twilights old doll, smartypants, to the crowd). She told me to kill them!
Judge: Really?.. Ты realize your talking about a toy doll right?
Big Mac: Hey. We all find 'love' in different ways.