Lets review the only movie of the series, that isn't complete shit.
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the акула jumping on the boat.. I mean WHAT!?
And ends with a акула roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down by a акула and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the сказал(-а) revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that way, was the sole purpose of killing Michael.
Anyway, here's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many акула movies, Ты wanna take the makers of Jaws and slap them across the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"
So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it еще или less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..
Anyway, here we go..
During a late-night пляж, пляжный party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under by a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all so scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.
Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief, Brody, demands the пляж, пляжный closed.
But the Mayor overrules him because.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.
So, as expected, another акула related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him, demanding the пляж, пляжный too be open.
What were Ты all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?
Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, least till the saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.
Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, Ты know, "death = еще money".
Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled by the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).
Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white акула is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath, или the stupidest person alive.
On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real акула (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading to my favourite scene.
We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his Далее victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.
Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the акула with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.
At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.
After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the лодка backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the акула to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.
With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the акула with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The акула demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.
Anyway, Bruce then attacks the лодка directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, by jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.
Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.
With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to лодка wreckage.
And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the акула jumping on the boat.. I mean WHAT!?
And ends with a акула roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down by a акула and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the сказал(-а) revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that way, was the sole purpose of killing Michael.
Anyway, here's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many акула movies, Ты wanna take the makers of Jaws and slap them across the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"
So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it еще или less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..
Anyway, here we go..
During a late-night пляж, пляжный party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under by a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all so scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.
Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief, Brody, demands the пляж, пляжный closed.
But the Mayor overrules him because.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.
So, as expected, another акула related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him, demanding the пляж, пляжный too be open.
What were Ты all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?
Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, least till the saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.
Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, Ты know, "death = еще money".
Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled by the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).
Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white акула is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath, или the stupidest person alive.
On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real акула (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading to my favourite scene.
We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his Далее victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.
Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the акула with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.
At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.
After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the лодка backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the акула to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.
With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the акула with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The акула demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.
Anyway, Bruce then attacks the лодка directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, by jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.
Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.
With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to лодка wreckage.
And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and маргаритка chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.
The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every день the paper boy brings more.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the холм, хилл
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see Ты on the dark side of the moon.
The lunatic is in my head.
(evil laugh)
The lunatic is in my head
Ты raise the blade, Ты make the change
Ты re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
Ты lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
I can't think of anything to say except...
(Laughter)
I think it's marvelous!
Hahaha!
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and маргаритка chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.
The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every день the paper boy brings more.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the холм, хилл
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see Ты on the dark side of the moon.
The lunatic is in my head.
(evil laugh)
The lunatic is in my head
Ты raise the blade, Ты make the change
Ты re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
Ты lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
I can't think of anything to say except...
(Laughter)
I think it's marvelous!
Hahaha!
#1: SMOSH DISERVES A секунда CHANCE:
Everyone dose terrible their first movie.
Jimmy Tatro was in Grown Ups 2 (awful movie). But he got his секунда chance in 22 jump Street. And was an actual “character”. Not just somebody filling the background.
Smosh is actually very talented. And I don’t actually blame them for being bad in that movie. It’s not THEM who were bad. It’s the MOVIE that was bad.
Maybe being voice actors would actually work better for them.
I never actually SEEN the smosh movie.
But from what I hear. Anthony wasn’t really comfortable on the big screen.
I actually wish Smosh the best.. Not joking.
#2: IT HAS JASON SUDEIKIS:
This dude is awesome.
If he brings his "A-Game".
The movie might be "watchable"..
#3: IT HAS KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY:
(Same as number 2's description)..
#4: I ACTUALLY LIKE THE GAME:
It's kinda fun..
#5: IT ACTUALLY HAS FAIRLY GOOD REVIEWS:
A high of 63% on Rotten Tomatoes..
Everyone dose terrible their first movie.
Jimmy Tatro was in Grown Ups 2 (awful movie). But he got his секунда chance in 22 jump Street. And was an actual “character”. Not just somebody filling the background.
Smosh is actually very talented. And I don’t actually blame them for being bad in that movie. It’s not THEM who were bad. It’s the MOVIE that was bad.
Maybe being voice actors would actually work better for them.
I never actually SEEN the smosh movie.
But from what I hear. Anthony wasn’t really comfortable on the big screen.
I actually wish Smosh the best.. Not joking.
#2: IT HAS JASON SUDEIKIS:
This dude is awesome.
If he brings his "A-Game".
The movie might be "watchable"..
#3: IT HAS KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY:
(Same as number 2's description)..
#4: I ACTUALLY LIKE THE GAME:
It's kinda fun..
#5: IT ACTUALLY HAS FAIRLY GOOD REVIEWS:
A high of 63% on Rotten Tomatoes..
#1: SPONGEBOB:
Spongebob use to be a a bit nieve. But he was also mature in his own way. And accepted his mistakes.
But now he is a complete moron. And f***in cry baby.. And NEVER learns his lesson..
#2: SQUIDWARD:
It use to be satifying to see Squidward get punished, when he deserves it. But now.. He DOSEN'T deserve it. And he gets punished even WORSE..
#3: KRABS:
He use to be greedy, but also a good person, with a moral compass, and cares for Spongebob, father/son like. But now.. Krab's obsession of money is borderline psychotic. And he is willing to put Spongebob in danger just for a penny (heck, he fires him for a nickel)..
#4: PATRICK:
He use to be stupid, but loyal. Now he's stupid to the point he actually bullies Spongebob, and never gets punished..
#5: SANDY:
(No comment)..
Spongebob use to be a a bit nieve. But he was also mature in his own way. And accepted his mistakes.
But now he is a complete moron. And f***in cry baby.. And NEVER learns his lesson..
#2: SQUIDWARD:
It use to be satifying to see Squidward get punished, when he deserves it. But now.. He DOSEN'T deserve it. And he gets punished even WORSE..
#3: KRABS:
He use to be greedy, but also a good person, with a moral compass, and cares for Spongebob, father/son like. But now.. Krab's obsession of money is borderline psychotic. And he is willing to put Spongebob in danger just for a penny (heck, he fires him for a nickel)..
#4: PATRICK:
He use to be stupid, but loyal. Now he's stupid to the point he actually bullies Spongebob, and never gets punished..
#5: SANDY:
(No comment)..
Anyone have that game where Ты Любовь it.
But most other people hate it.
It's nothing against the game itself.
They just find it boring. Ты can't go on Болталка улица, уличный rampages.
But I actually Любовь this game.
There's a very low amount of gun fights, cause this isn't really the main focus of the game.
But I actually find this better.
Ты get less tired of them, cause Ты never know when the Далее one will be. It's unpredictable.
Plus, I watch the Показать LAW AND ORDER SUV. And my grandpa use to be cop.
So guess that also gives me a reason for liking this kinda thing.
Once in a while, it's nice being a GOOD GUY, like Cole Phelps.
A arrogant WWll veteran, who realized his arrogance and is trying make himself a better person by protecting the streets of Los Vegas from homicidal murderers, pedophiles, drug addicts, and necrophilists..
But most other people hate it.
It's nothing against the game itself.
They just find it boring. Ты can't go on Болталка улица, уличный rampages.
But I actually Любовь this game.
There's a very low amount of gun fights, cause this isn't really the main focus of the game.
But I actually find this better.
Ты get less tired of them, cause Ты never know when the Далее one will be. It's unpredictable.
Plus, I watch the Показать LAW AND ORDER SUV. And my grandpa use to be cop.
So guess that also gives me a reason for liking this kinda thing.
Once in a while, it's nice being a GOOD GUY, like Cole Phelps.
A arrogant WWll veteran, who realized his arrogance and is trying make himself a better person by protecting the streets of Los Vegas from homicidal murderers, pedophiles, drug addicts, and necrophilists..
#1: Packie McCreary:
Obviously I am NOT the only one who likes Packie.
He has his own character trailer, as dose Roman, and even Vlad.
Packie became so famish that he was brought back, in GTA 5.
Being used for heists.
These appearances are brief.
But at least we see him..
#2: Lamar Davis:
Franklyn's unstable friend, who is a bit less hypocritical than Franklyn, but also a bit less "sane".
He is always willing to pull the trigger, in fact, he probably enjoys it.
It's no question, he is known among fans..
#3: Roman Bellic:
Hate him или Любовь him.
We all know him.
I for one like Roman because he's much еще "innocent" than most GTA characters.
Most people can relate to him..
Obviously I am NOT the only one who likes Packie.
He has his own character trailer, as dose Roman, and even Vlad.
Packie became so famish that he was brought back, in GTA 5.
Being used for heists.
These appearances are brief.
But at least we see him..
#2: Lamar Davis:
Franklyn's unstable friend, who is a bit less hypocritical than Franklyn, but also a bit less "sane".
He is always willing to pull the trigger, in fact, he probably enjoys it.
It's no question, he is known among fans..
#3: Roman Bellic:
Hate him или Любовь him.
We all know him.
I for one like Roman because he's much еще "innocent" than most GTA characters.
Most people can relate to him..