#1:
Mastersword as an interviewer: Эй, princess Twilight. Good having Ты here.

Twilight: Sure.

Sword: First off. How dose it feel being the forth princess ever?

Twilight: (barely even lessoning) Yes. I wouldn't be here without my friends.

Sword: That's nice. But the Вопрос is, how dose it make 'you' feel. YOU!?

Twilight: (still barely lessoning) Yes. That is diffently a Вопрос being asked. And I'm confident in my friends. And getting it done.

Sword: Okay.. Have to be honest with you. I feel like this interview. Is going absolutely nowhere. Ты answered 'none' of my questions. Ты kinda sound like a broken automatic response system, that's only been tought 4 phrases.

Twilight: (not lessening) Thanks. It's been an experience.

Sword: *annoyed* Yeah it has!

Twilight: *listing stuff about friendship*

Sword: What are yo- *looks behind him* Are Ты Чтение cue cards wait now!?.. What is this!?

Twilight: *still Чтение off them*

Sword: (proving point to audience) What's your name lady!?

Twilight: .. Dedication.

Sword: (angrily to camera) Her name is dedication!



#2:

Derpy: Saten. He's not even as dorky as Ты say he is.

Sword: Wha-

Saten: Well.. I still loved pranking him anyway.

Derpy: (laughs) Ты did?..

Saten: Yes.. I remember I use to put fibreglass shards in his gym shorts. Every time he had to take a pee. He'd come back crying. *Saten and Derpy laugh*

Sword: It wasn't funny. It was painful.. Wasn't so much the fiber. As it was the glass!.. I had to get a urethra transplant.. And those are COSTLY!

Sword: Ты should hear his еще Последнее ones.. (to Saten) Tell her what Ты did a the other day.

Saten: Well.. I mailed a wild hog to house the other day.

Sword: (angrily) THERE'S GIANT PIG WITH HORNS! LIVING IN THE BASEMENT!

Saten: Plus.. The time before that. We were suppose to have a sleepover at his house., I was planning to sneak laxatives into his cereal.. But the sleep over got canceled so I couldn't get him with that one.

Derpy: Ohh... But the idea was still there.

Saten: Oh! Differently (they highfive)

Sword: (arrogantly) HE DIDN'T GET ME THOUGH! He didn't get me... DidyougetmeSaten? Didyougetme!?

Satan: No-

Sword: No! Ты did not get me!.. Who didn't get me... Saten Twist.

Saten: Ты know what.. Fuck it.. Fine. Ты guys can go out.. But only once.

Sword: Good enough. *leaves*

Sword: Alright Derpy.. Let's go.

Derpy: Fine.

Sword: Just remember one thing tonight. One thing.. Your cousin did NOT get me with poop thing..



#3:

Master Sword: (hiding behind wall) Come on. Come on.

Saten: (walks in) Excuse me I-

Sword: (tackles him and start violently beating him up)... (stops).. Sorry. (pants). I thought Ты were the mafia.

Saten: N No I'm Saten Twist.

Sword: Who?

Saten: I've been asked to interview you.

Sword: Interview!?. (eyes narrow) Well. Ты can't interview a dead man now CAN YOU! (jumps out the four story window, and ends up going into ambulance, and he waves evily to Saten, as Saten watches him get lifted into the ambulance).



#4:

Iron will: Welcome. To Iron wills Показать on being assertive.. Here's how being assertive works. Ты take down who's bigger then you.. Example. Who's the toughest пони in the crowd?

Sword: (there with Fluttershy) Well. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I believe I hold the extinction o- (gets grabbed by Iron will and gets violently beaten up from off view).

Iron Will: Alright. Know who's the funniest?

Sword: I know my way around a jo- (starts getting beat up again).



#5:

Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken by a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..

Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before Ты start.

Twilight: Иисус christ!

Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!

Twilight: падуб, holly, холли SHIT!

Master Sword: (annoyed) Ты gonna let me explain!?

Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would Любовь to know why Ты shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!

Master Sword: ... He startled me!

Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?

Master Sword: He! Startled me!

Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!

Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..

Twilight: Great... So what now.

Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..

Twilight: Ты can't be serious!?

Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..

Twilight: ... Ты planned this, didn't you!?

Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!

Twilight: Ты planned this! I know Ты did!

Master Sword: Ты honestly think I wou-

Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) Эй, Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..

(long pause).

Master Sword: Ты would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.

Twilight: (starts growling)

Master Sword: (happily) I украл, палантин it.

Twilight: SWOOO-

Master Sword: LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE Рождество MOMENT!!



#6:

Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!

Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.

Saten: Sword? Ты scared th- Oh shit, did Ты steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!

Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of украл, палантин it.. Prove.. I did!

Saten: But dude! Ты can't steal police cars! Ты know how illage that is!?

Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.

Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.

Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?

(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful пушка in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).



#7:

Radio: Car 53, we're Ты heading in such a hurry?

Master Sword: oh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.

Radio: There's a bank robbery!?

Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).

Saten: Dude, we're are Ты going!?

Master Sword: Didn't Ты hear, theirs a bank robbery!

Saten: What!? No theirs not-

Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-

(They burst into bank)

Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED! (Points gun at employee) WERE'S YOUR MONEY!

Employee: (crying) p, please don't kill me!

Master Sword: (dramatically) please don't MAKE ME!

(Sword and Saten arrive into the back of the bank)

Saten: Dude, what are Ты doing!?

Master Sword: No talk! We gotta take all this cash!

Saten: Soooo, nobody can steal it?

Master Sword: ... Yeah!

Saten: Hmm , Good idea (starts grabbing money bags)



#8:

Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful!

Master Sword: Why'd Ты bring me to Cake N' бекон, бэкон for our third date, I HATE this place!

Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somebody with no experience using a printing press... Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.

Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!

Derpy: Is it possible were having two different conversations?

Sword: How should I know, I'm not listening to you!



#9:

Master Sword: (showing snake to high school students) And the most I know about this species is that i- (suddenly the bites his arm) AHH! FUCK!

Students: (turn quite)

Master Sword: (pulls the snake off angrily) GOD FUCKIN DAMN IT! Fuckin son of a, FUCK!

Audience: (gasps)

Master Sword: Oh, the fucking stupid-ass serpent BIT ME!

Principle: Mr Sword, please sto-

Master Sword: Oh, варенье, джем a lit sparkler up my asshole and then do sit-ups. lt hurts so bad!

Principle: Sir! Words like that are NOT allowed in this school!

Master Sword: (screaming) MOTHER FUCKER BIT ME!... (calmly) I.. I mean the snake bit me... I think I need a hospital.



#10:
Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving Ты people the bird.
Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!
Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.




#11:
Sword: Tonight, Ты become a man.

розовый Pony: But I'm a girl.

Sword: A MAN!!




#12:
Saten: I hate to tell Ты this Sword, but there really is no Santa.

Sword: ... (chuckles) That's funny.. I thought Ты сказал(-а) Santa wasn't real.. What's next, hmm? . Um, who else isn't real? Hmm? Y...You gonna tell me Elmo isn't real? или SpongeBob? Is he not real? Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? And what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not out there makin' little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, Ты fool!



#13:
Saten: Why'd we take his leg?

Sword: We're in their country, Saten, we have to observe their customs. (drops leg on bump)

Sword: ... Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.



#14:
Sword: Эй, dude, that one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't Рождество magical?