"So," she сказал(-а) slowly, "You two seem like a happy couple. But tell me Tiana, is Naveen well equipped или is that big замок of his supposed to be compensating for something?"
"Beg your pardon?" asked Tiana.
"You know, the family jewels, are they the kind you'd want on an engagement ring или the kind Ты mistake for a sequin from the Dollar Store?"
Tiana still looked unsure.
"Does he have a big penis?" гороховый, горох rolled her eyes. "God, some of these goody-goodies just don't understand my metaphors. Anyway, what kingdom are Ты from?"
"Oh, I'm only royal by marriage," Tiana laughed. "I was a waitress before I met Naveen."
Pea's jaw dropped. "A waitress? That's one step up from being the bird lady Mary Poppins sings about. Geez, Naveen, I can't believe Ты settled for a commoner."
"What can I say?" chuckled Naveen, his voice sexy as usual. "I fell in love."
"It's just as easy to fall in Любовь with a rich person as it is to fall for a poor person. That's what my mother always told me," answered Pea. "I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a peasant. Gross...no offence, Tiana."
"None taken," she replied, through clenched teeth.
Pea's words stung Conrad on the сердце a little bit because he had started to grow quite fond of her, although he didn't have a lot to offer. Just then, the four arrived at Mama Odie's hut in the bayou. The little old lady came swinging down a vine, laughing psychotically. She had sunglasses on her face and a snake on her shoulder.
"Are Ты sure she doesn't belong in the loonie bin?" гороховый, горох asked Tiana. "She looks like a total whack-job."
"Well, well, well," сказал(-а) Mama Odie. "Tiana and Naveen, nice seein' ya again. The last time I saw y'alls Ты two were a couple of frogs turning human."
"You two were frogs?" inquired Conrad.
"Long story," answered Naveen.
"Listen, Mama Odie, I just need Ты to use your magic wand или whatever it is Ты do and turn back time...bring me back to the time before I was exiled, when I was truly happy."
"Were Ты happy though, Pea?"
"Ugh! Yes!" гороховый, горох was annoyed. "Why does no one believe me when I say I loved my old life, it's all I want!"
"Child, sometimes it ain't about what Ты want," replied the strange woman. "It's about what Ты need...Someday you'll figure that out. But until then, I can't help ya!" With that, she returned to her hut.
"We traveled all this way for that?" yelled Pea. "I could've gotten еще useful Совет from Dr. Phil! God, this is hopeless!"
"Thanks for all your help guys," сказал(-а) Conrad politely. "I'm sure we'll be fine. See Ты around."
Tiana and Naveen waved goodbye and headed back to New Orleans.
"Pea," сказал(-а) Conrad. "I know that things are gonna work out in the end...I promise you. No matter what happens, I'll be by your side."
"Well, what are we gonna do?" asked Pea, fighting back tears. "Hmm...wait a second...I think I just thought of our Далее method of transportation..."
гороховый, горох and Conrad spent the Далее two and a half hours building a рафт, плот out of wood, branches, and vines.
Mama Odie watched proudly through her window from above.
"You know what?" she сказал(-а) to her snake. "I truly think she's gonna be okay. That princess is smarter than anyone gives her credit for."
(End Of Part 14)
