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posted by x-menobsessed26
your mum is so fat when she stands on the радуга she makes skittles

ur mama's so ugly she called bob the builder and he said, I cant fix that-

Your mama so fat, when she went to the airport the cops arrested her for having ten pounds of crack

Your mama teeth is so yellow, when she went outside and smiled, cars slowed down

Your mama so fat, when she went into the ocean whales stared singing, "WE ARE FAMILY EVEN THOUGH YOUR FATTER THAN ME"

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the moon it broke

Your mama so ugly, when she looked out the window she got aressted for mooning

Ты were so ugly at birth, your parents named Ты **** Happens.

You're so ugly, Ты have to put a bag on your head to get your dog to hump your leg

You're so ugly, when Ты walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.

You're so ugly, Ты went to a haunted house and came out with an application

You're so ugly, when Ты were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

You're so ugly, Ты have to sneak up on your mirror.

You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.

You're so ugly, when Ты were born the doctor took one look at Ты and slapped your parents.

You're so ugly, Ты stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning.

You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.

You're so ugly, Ты have to Trick или Treat by phone.

You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.

You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I peeked, then I booed.

You're so ugly, Ты can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.

You're so ugly, they call Ты тако Bell, when people see Ты they run for the border.

You're so ugly, Ты make onions cry.

You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring Ты in.

You're so ugly, Ты make blind kids cry.

You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.

You're so ugly, every time Ты go out Ты get chased by the dog catcher.

You're so ugly, they call Ты Moses because every time Ты step in the lake, the water parts.

You're so ugly, when Ты threw a boomerang it didn't come back.

Your so fat when Ты put a yellow rain куртка on people yelled out taxi haha.

Yo mama stank so bad that all the power went off in the house.

Yo mama stank so bad when she walked past the skunks they сказал(-а) 123 get yo stanky self away from me.

Yo mama look so ugly that her mama was jealous

yo mama so dum tahta she wanted $25.00 and somebody offered $20,000,000.00 and she didn't take it.

yo mama so dumb she lock herself on a motorcycle

yo mama so fat that when she went to a hotel and asked for a water постель, кровати they put a blanket ove the ocean.

Yo mama so fat when she sat on the sofa the house colapsed.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow dress the kids line up for school.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a red dress all of the kids start to sing "Kool Aid!"
posted by KyoyaTategami01
Yo Moma so fat that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit

Yo Moma so fat,when she dies in Call of Duty,the player get's the 5 person kill streak

Yo Moma so stupid that she played got your nose with Voldemort

Yo Moma so fat,the sorting hat has signed her to the house of блины

Yo Moma so stupid that Rebecca Black told her Thursday comes before Friday

Yo Moma so fat,she's a map on Call of Duty

Yo Moma so ugly,she's the reason why Waldo is hiding

Yo Moma so stupid,she brought tickets to Xbox Live

Yo Moma so ugly,she makes blind kids cry

Yo Moma so fat,when she sat on the iPod,she made the iPad

Yo...
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posted by pipiqueen
here is one of my fav jokes-

teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!

(children starts to look at each other and whisper)

teacher- silence! the contest is, each день Ты have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time

(children cheers!later at the end of the week)

teacher- how many of Ты read , hamlet?

(the whole class raise their hands!)

teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?

(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)

teacher- exellent!now how many of Ты have read the biography of aristotile?

(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)

teacher- good,but may i inform Ты that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
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I don't know what this is but my cousion сказал(-а) to me to put it on Фан pop i haven't watched it before Because i can't be botherd so here Ты go guys it's for a DARE!
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...:l
1 день 2 very lovin parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son wlked in n сказал(-а) "Wat doz сука n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

d nx день d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women сказал(-а) "feel my titties" n the man сказал(-а) "feel my dick".

Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".

On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman сказал(-а) it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.

Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom сказал(-а) dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.

логово, ден d door колокол, колокольчик, белл rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n сказал(-а) "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the кухня fuckin d turkey!
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posted by chowjoyi
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did Ты know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes‚ I know‚" сказал(-а) the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But‚ madam‚ Ты must know that your privates are exposed!" сказал(-а) the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything Ты see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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posted by harold
"Then Ты Показать up and drink my poison!"

Barnaby laughed with the others, but his сердце wasn't in it. He was concentrating too hard. Should he have picked one that was еще ribald?

"You didn't tell it right!"

He'd heard that one before, but Jim really had a good delivery, and got a big laugh. Barnaby thought he was ready, but just couldn't interject into the flow of jokes of the older guys.

"Don't worry - it'll stretch!"

Every год his brother Al would meet with his Друзья for their reunion. They each made a point of coming back to Gull Cove the same time each year, just for this night. Al was ten...
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