I thought I would compile a Список of some of my favourite, memorable lines throughout the series. I hope Ты enjoy them too.

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Context: PJ is in the waiting area of the hospital during Charlie's birth; another person mistakes him for the father.
PJ: First baby?
Person: That obvious, ah?
PJ: Hey, I've been there.
Person: Ты have!?
PJ: Oh yeah. This is my third time sitting on these chairs.
Person: Wow! If Ты don't mind me asking, how old were Ты the first time?
PJ: Two.

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Teddy: Wow, almost every single word in that sentence was wrong.

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Bob: I'm leaving for work. Come on, give me a kiss.
Amy: (during her morning routine) Catch me if Ты can!
Bob: ... I've kissed Ты enough already.

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Bob: Hey, Emmett. If Ты want I might be able to get Ты a job too.
Emmett: Oh, no thanks, Mr. D. I already got a job.
Bob: Doing what?
Emmett: My dad pays me to stay out of the house.

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Bob: Gabe, are Ты wearing aftershave?
Gabe: A little.
Bob: Why? Ты don't have to shave yet.
Gabe: As long as we are being logical, why do Ты still have a comb?

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Amy: PJ, Ты have to post it online so Grandma can see it.
PJ: Grandma knows how to go online?
Amy: PJ , Ты have to put it on CD so Grandma can watch it in her DVD player.
PJ: Grandma has a DVD player?
Amy: Okay, PJ. Ты just have to go to Grandma and play it to her.

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Gabe: Can we talk about my sleepover for a second?
Amy: Gabe, you're distracting me from my housework! Of course we can talk about your sleepover.

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Amy: Liam, honey, is there a problem?
Liam: I'm afraid of upstairs.
Amy: Excuse me?
Liam: We're living in a one story house. I've never been upstairs. And I'm not gonna start now.
Amy: Interesting new phobia.

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Skyler: What Ты got there?
Teddy: Pie on a stick.
Skyler: Where did Ты get it?
Teddy: Pie On A Stick.

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Austin: I may be only eleven but I'm old enough to know that Ты deserve someone that appreciates how wonderful Ты are. And for your information, Spencer ain't it.
Teddy: Did Ты just say "ain't"?
Austin: Listen to me. I'm so passionate that I'm throwing grammar to the wind!

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Gabe: Эй, Dad, before Ты go, can I ask Ты something?
Bob: Oh ask your mother.
Gabe: Why can't I ask you?
Bob: Because whatever answer I give you, she's gonna tell me its the wrong one.
Gabe: Wow, Dad. when did Ты ever become so afraid of Mom?
Bob: Ask your mother.

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Context: PJ and Gabe are playing a little "game show" to see which of them will go to the hockey game with him.
Bob: How old is Bob?
PJ: Fif-
Bob: AH!
Gabe: Six-
Bob: No, no!
PJ: Seven-
Bob: Alright! Далее Question! When is Bob's birthday?
Gabe/PJ: ...
Bob: Oh, c'mon Ты guys! Ты gotta know this one!
Gabe: January 1st?
PJ: January 2nd.
Gabe: January 3rd?
PJ: January 4th.

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Credits: Wikiquote page for prompting me of these specific lines, and the TV Показать (obviously).