Hi guys, sorry to keep Ты waiting. Been busy with my studies. Well, here Ты go. I've the Далее one almost ready. Wait for it in a few days, maybe even hours. Ты know what, I Любовь them, but I just wonder at times whether this is like...fair on our behalf. Like Письмо about them. Hope they don't really read this stuff and feel like...IDK. I just feel a little stupid at times I guess или guilty. I'm probably making no sense at all, am I? Well, anyway, diclaimer: I know nothing about their lives. This is just a beatiful dream. Enjoy <3
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Previously on December/December:
Thursday, 26 March 2010
Hugh spread his arms open, clenching the doorjamb, his eyes severely fixed on her.
Do или die.
“I want to know what happened…” he сказал(-а) straightforwardly.
Lisa rubbed her face with both hands, with utter frustration “To what? What happened to what, Hugh?”
She wished she could just run away and avoid facing this. She knew this would happen. She knew it. And this was exactly why she hadn’t told anyone but David. She should have known better and not tell anyone at all. It would have been pointless even just mentioning it to him, ‘cause she knew they would end up fighting and….there was no purpose in all of this whatsoever. There was nothing to talk about.
Hugh stared at her “To us. I want to know what happened to us…” he said, feeling his сердце leaping up in his throat. That was it. No еще procrastinations. No еще hesitations. He hadn’t time for this shit anymore. He needed to know why and now.
Deadline had loomed once and for all for him.
Truth time.
End of the game.
Slowly, Lisa moved her face out of her hands and lifted her stormy eyes up, pointing them at him. It hurt her even before she spit the words out “There’s no us…”
.................................................
Two days earlier....
24 March 2010
A muffled roar died down in the air.
Hugh dismounted, peeling off his helmet. A warm wind stroked his face and he noticed the chill of the early morning had already started to grow less. He hurried through the parking lot, grimacing at sky: it looked so intensely blue today that it was almost glaring. He had never felt part of it. He had never felt part of the way even the sky itself in L.A. felt like running on energy, optimism, and enthusiasm.
But today...today somehow he did.
Actually, he alternatively found himself giving in to one feeling или another: the faint sense of hope those very gentle gusts of the light spring breeze seemed to carry along with them...and the feeling of an impending disaster hanging down over his head.
He had been doing this for six years already: stepping into this building, working with those people, playing this character, getting the job done...sometimes, feeling like he had just been woken from a long coma and suddenly realized a crazy amount of time had already gone by; but it hadn’t been unpleasant. Not at all. ‘Cause something had slowly been growing inside him, and by now it had enduringly taken roots.
Yet today, accomplishing each one of those familiar, tiny, little things that were usually part of a daily routine he had grown fond of... today it felt like it would be harder than ever.
He pushed the glass door open and stepped into the studios. He quickly waved at the security guard and hurried on, head slightly down, ‘cause дана the way Jeff had just glanced at his watch, he knew he was probably wondering what he was doing there so early on their last day.
And he hadn't time to answer any Вопросы или coming up with any convenient excuses.
He hurtled through the first floor settings, hurriedly and barely gazing around but all the same a funny feeling prickled inside him. He sensed the weird, surreal stillness and the unusual deep silence reigning all around and couldn’t help but wondering whether it boded well или ill.‘Cause it really felt like
...quiet before the storm....
He rolled eyes at himself, pursing his lips at that thought.
It was just a damn cliché thinking like this. He freaking knew it was.
And he hated clichés....
He hated when he was so tense, no matter what he did, he kept having this looming feeling of catastrophe chasing after him. He hated it ‘cause, then, he couldn’t help but going through all the usual, pattern of very predictable, hardly constructive thoughts; and then inevitable disruptive feelings came along and all of it was unlikely conclusive to his cause, right now.
Of course it would feel like quiet before the storm to him, what else might it feel? One didn’t go all-out, so recklessly and witlessly every day, do they? Not with one of the people Ты works with; especially, not with the very one who expressively told Ты already she would rather stay friends, than....
But that had happened months ago.
He also hated when Stephen happened to be able to see through him so much better than he did and could break his shell and talked him into acknowledging he was just behaving like a coward once again, getting cold feet a close step far from all he wanted. Somehow Lisa had been right all along when she had told him the stakes were too high for her to take another chance on him. Indeed, they were high enough to make him a close step from all he wanted and at a stone’s throw from losing everything.
Suddenly, something inside him whirled and coiled at this thought and he swallowed hard. Maybe there was a very good reason why clichés became so after all. Perhaps this undefined feeling of uncertainty was a sign...
He frowned taking the hallway to the right.
He ought to stop this. It was plain stupid looking for signs when the truth was he was just terrified. Plain and simple. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought this through, carefully and long enough already. Dozens of schemes have whirled through his head and then fizzled out uselessly, just as easily as they had come, before he had finally taken a decision, and yet here he was still self-doubting.
Not about the decision of course. That was the easy part. He knew what he wanted.
The Вопросы was, did she want him back?
The thing in his stomach Рапунцель - Запутанная история tighter.
One thing for sure, at least he had been wise enough to not overestimate his nerves. All in all, it was a good thing he had waited for the very last день to come to do this...thing. Deadline might even be looming, but he couldn’t imagine Показ up at work for еще than just a день after feeling like this; especially, if things went amiss.
His stomach squirmed and he knocked on the door, gently, catching his breath.
Game on.
Lisa breathed in for the last time, slowly, letting the air fill up her lungs; she exhaled, letting her muscles relax completely, her mind clear, her сердце follow the rhythm of her breathing. She clasped her hands in front of her chest and pressed the palms against each other as she started to close her legs. Her eyes closed too...as puzzled, sad blue ones stared down into hers and slowly began to get closer... She started to rotate her head, gently and slowly, up and down, from one side to another, inhaling deeply...and the feeling of his lips probing at hers gradually got еще vivid, almost real...She cautiously stretched out her neck, taking another deep breath, trying to focus only on her breathing and the feeling of her body as she slowly let loose of the tension...but the feeling of his hands sneaking around her waist and tugging her closer, as she got carried away by the scent of his skin blending with the taste of his lips was always there too....
She snapped her eyes open and breathed in deeply, rubbing her lips.
It was pretty clear Yoga wasn’t doing her any good this morning. Rather the opposite; she kept feeling tense like a coiled spring.
She extended one leg out to the side and bent вперед over it.
It was getting a 22-catch situation, really. She kept going in circles inside her head and today it was almost their last день and she hadn’t taken a decision yet. или even better, now that she was slowly starting to be honest to herself once again....thank Ты very much Karen....she’d better be willing to admit to herself she had just kept avoiding to. She wondered when this fooling herself about her real feelings had truly started. Whether just recently after she had began to дата John или even before; или maybe that night he had brought her to the Observatory. She had no idea. Maybe she was just so used to never act on her true feelings that she had Остаться в живых track of the time that had passed.
She bent вперед over the other leg, stretching it. One thing for sure, though, she had a serious problem here and it won’t sort itself out on its own. But what was she supposed to do, anyway? Just dump John from the overseas and....what? Fling her arms around his neck and.....happily ever after? It was plain ridiculous to say the least....was it?
She lifted her torso up and breathed out once еще to ease the oppressive feeling now stirring in her chest. She slowly started to rotate her head from one side to another once again, thinking that maybe, if she made one final effort, and just kept her eyes softly closed like this and simply tried to...
The piercing sound of an alarm crept in.
She peered at her watch. 7.00 am.
She couldn’t defer any longer.
She had to go.
The moment he pushed the door open, Rosie lifted her eyes up. She was chewing a pen cup, and held the storage book in her hands “Hugh...come on in, what are Ты doing here so early?”
He stalled for a second. What was he doing there was a very good question. What was SHE doing there at such crazy час would have been a better one, though. He suspected it had something to do with then universe never been cooperative to him.
Just a feeling...
“Hi Rose, ehm....I was just wondering....” he paused, casting a quick, sneaky look at the storage book “...whether I might pick up my clothes now” he ad-libbed, nervously. Rosie gave him a questioning look. или so it felt “I’ve...I’ve a few extra things to take care of today...” he сказал(-а) scratching his arm “You know....last days....final lines, the finale...stuff....David at my throat...the usual” he cut short, taking one clumsy step forward.
Rosie gave him an amused, affectionate glance this time “Always the вверх of the class, huh?”
He smirked embarrassingly feeling awkwardly. He was just as tensed as a coiled spring “Yeah...well, Ты know me...”
Rosie jumped off the стол письменный, стол she was seated on “Wait here. Be right back” she said, rushing to the back.
He stretched his neck out, checking for her to be gone and then took another guarded step forward, but before he could reach the стол письменный, стол his сердце leapt into his throat.
“You know...” he heard her yelling suddenly, as stifling through some stuff in the back.
He took a silent deep breath.
Get a grip, for Christ’s sake....
“....I got the chance to have a look at the script and a watch a couple a takes yesterday and I gotta tell you, this season finale truly rocks for me...” she said.
He started flipping through the pages of the storage book looking for what he needed.
“...but” Rosie kept on “don’t Ты think this is getting...I don’t know...a little bit too damn gloomily depressing in the end?”
He bit his lips “Yeah...might be...” he answered absentmindedly, his eyes scrolling down the чулок list. “Why?”
He slid the finger down the page and noticed his hand was slightly trembling. For the Любовь of God, he wasn’t a kid peeping at the behavioural notes on his teacher’s class roll, was him?
Just stop it and get a grip...
He heard her dragging some boxes along on the floor, maybe moving them away with her feet.
“Well...these two people had always been connected, right? They belong to one another in еще than a way I believe...so don’t they deserve a happy ending of sort one day?”
Hugh kept searching.
“...I mean...maybe David is spinning it out a little bit too much, don’t Ты think? One has to take a leap of faith, eventually...it’s just a matter of courage really, isn’t it?” she asked.
He lifted his eyes up from the page, losing sight of what he was doing for a moment.
“Of course no one can guarantee Ты it’s not gonna turn out to be a total disaster...you never know whether the other is just as ready as Ты are или feels the same или will always do...” she pointed out, matter-of-factly.
He lowered his eyes on the page again. This conversation wasn’t doing him any good. Rather the opposite; he’d better put a stop to it before he went back to his paranoiac usual mental coming and going of negative thoughts got to him once again.
Besides he ought to buy himself some extra time. He still hadn’t found what he needed.
“Ehm Rosie...” he called “....would Ты mind, giving me also an extra pair of sneakers? I forgot Главная the one Ты gave me yesterday....”
He began to slide his index down the right column.
“Sure...” Rosie answered “Wait up...”
After a bunch of seconds, he finally found it.
S.7. Ep. 22.
Cuddy: розовый scrub. Sneakers.
Wen. 23, March 2010
Out.
Edelstein L.
11.30 a.m.
He snapped the book closed and put it back where Rosie had left it, as his сердце pounded a little faster and he ran swiftly through the hypothesis, his mind racing: if things went as he thought, and Lisa had kept her clothes from yesterday, and she didn’t need to stop by the make-up, ‘cause this location didn’t require any, it just meant that she would be in her trailer to change her clothes by...
He rubbed his nape and then his jaw, thinking.
Of course it might also happen that after all of this she wouldn't even see it. дана his usual luck, either she wouldn't stop by her trailer eventually or, most probably, she would predictably forget her keys Главная and all of this last-minute-all-in-strategy would fall through...
He suddenly stopped his thinking.
You really can’t help thinking about things all the time, can you?
He shook his head, halfway between exasperation and frustration.
How much time did he have, anyway? He checked his watch: 7.10.
He had one час maybe. If he get lucky a little more. But most probably...he won’t.
He still had to stop by the make-up to have himself set up with scars, sutures and everything. He would never make it.
Rosie came back with his clothes “Ok...here we are. Leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans and sneakers” she сказал(-а) passing them to him. They were already all piled up and folded, with the sneakers on вверх “You want your cane too?”
“No no, it’s ok...I’ll stop by later for that” he said, taking the clothes “Thanks Rosie...sorry for the early-morning call” he said, hurrying to the door.
She put a little smile on her lips and went back to her stuff “You’re welcome, no problem, anytime”
He really had to hurry up. One час wasn’t enough, especially if he also had to look for that spare copy of her trailer keys she had дана him months ago.
When did the closer florist open?
This would have been so much easier if she hadn’t taken her clothes already and he could have just placed them in her wardrobe....but this wasn’t apparently his lucky day, was it?
Anyhow, he hadn’t changed his mind about this.
Not a bit.
Come what may, he knew what he wanted.
Lisa walked up bare feet to the bathroom, sipping from a tiny bottle. She slid the душ door open and let the water run, waiting for it to reach the right temperature. She emptied the bottle, threw it away and leaned on her arms against the basin, scrutinizing her face in the mirror.
Her phone lit up once at her side, remembering her she still had one missing call she hadn’t checked on. But she just casted a quick, distracted glance at it, without even picking it up. Instead, she splashed her face with some cold water, while her mind kept racing restlessly: tomorrow was the день already. Tomorrow was the день and she didn’t even know whether she could entirely trust herself and make this...thing while keeping her house of cards from collapsing over her. She sighed and reached out for the towel. Did she wanted to? Keep it from collapsing? или Karen was annoyingly right as usual and she was just avoiding coming to terms with her feelings? She dried her face, peering at her image, wondering whether maybe there was just some secret part of her who had been wishing for him to be the one who would take this plunge this time. She knew she was the one who had turned him down last time, but...was she waiting for this? For him to prove her...and she would keep running away as long as he didn’t... what did she want him to prove her anyway? That he wanted her badly enough and even еще strongly than he had before? Was this what all of this was really about? Feeling безопасно, сейф enough to put herself out there, once again? Would she ever feel like this with him? Protected and safe? So Karen was truly right...it really was just a matter of will-we или won’t-we work.
The glass started to steam up, blurring her image.
She gotta run. It was getting later and later.
She quickly peeled her clothes off and stepped into the shower, closing her eyes as she put her face right under the steaming, hot water jet.
She let the water run down over her body for a few еще секунды then but those in turn became minutes. Maybe, if she just tried harder and only focused on John, on their holidays and brushed away the thought of him, maybe she might find a way to avoid answering all these questions....
But then as she pushed her hair back and curled her shoulders under the water, she felt his arms, encircling her from behind and then his lips working their way up to her neck, slowly and gently Поцелуи her wet skin, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go backwards even if she had wanted to.
Problem was...she started to doubt whether she ever truly had.
Hugh seized the pen again, racking his brain. Three ripped-and-crumpled-up-into-his-pockets-notes-ago he was still moderately calm and rather confident he might after all do this. Now, at his fifth attempt, it felt like he had possibly overestimated himself this time.
He was no good with words.
Not with this kind of words anyway.
But he had to nail this, damn it. He had дана this too much thought to ruin it all like this. He cared too much.
He began to tap with his thumb on the таблица and casted a quick glance at the red Розы and white hydrangeas lying at his side. He hoped he remembered correctly, at least, ‘cause hydrangeas should have been among her favorites, but he wasn’t sure. And Розы alone felt like...a pretty dull, overrated choice.
Цветы weren’t his thing. As much as notes apparently....
He tried to focus, tossing his head backwards.
Ok, once again...get a grip for heaven’s sake, you’re not fifteen...
It was obviously a very little, insignificant gesture so all this endless fumbling with words inside his very head was ridiculous. Still, it was also true that this was his chance, probably the last, real one he had to take this plunge. And even if he was dressing it up as a little complimentary homage for her episode, which would air once she would be away, it was always something he was making for her, so it’d better feel special enough to make it up for...well, all the rest he wasn’t able to tell her but he wished he would have found the words for.
He took a deep breath and let the pen slide over the paper, once again, carefully weighting his words and hoping he was being finally able to arrange them in the most graceful way possible; in a way that wouldn’t sound like...too much...or not enough. He wasn’t even sure what the sound of it should be.
He hesitated over the last few lines and the pen trembled a little in his hand, as he took his leap.
I’ll miss Ты terribly Liz...I actually miss Ты already.
And I wish Ты would stay here with me…
I wish Ты wanted to…as much as I do
With love,
Hugh
He reread it all, once again slowly. Twice to be sure he had сказал(-а) everything he wanted to. A third time just because he still needed time to process what he was actually doing.
He must have Остаться в живых it.
He surely had.
For her at least.
But then again there didn’t seem to be any way back from where he was standing at the moment.
Not anymore, anyway.
It was showdown. And maybe it wasn’t up to him calling any shot this time или expecting her to simply fling her arms around his neck, suddenly playing by his rules as if she hadn’t been expecting anything better, but he got to do something. Stephen was right and Robert before him. He couldn’t give up on her go without even trying again. Then, if she didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, he would let her go, as much as unbearably painful the bare thought of it was. He wonder how much it would hurt if it came true...
He carefully placed the note among the Цветы and run up to the door, quickly. He dared to turn around one last time, staring at the little таблица right in front the диван, мягкий уголок where they lay and he tried to picture the moment she would see them.
But then his breath almost failed him and he left without looking back.
Lisa was walking through the parking lot, stifling through her кошелек as Hugh lay down on one the camp beds that had been arranged for the setting. He was keeping his eyes closed, arms crossed behind his head and his ears well-strained.
She had just been to Rosie to pick up some clothes she couldn’t even remember she had left in her trailer and now she had the terrible feeling she might have forgotten her keys home.
Hugh was nervous.
Unbelievably nervous about this and a thousand different Вопросы with no answer kept forming and fizzling out in his head, regardless his repeated attempts to lock them out. Lisa kept digging in her кошелек and hurrying to her trailer, brainstorming, ‘cause if she had to rush back home, David would have surely killed her.
On the other hand...how could he possibly know whether she hadn’t even found them или was just glossing over it, if he didn’t ask her any of it? Lisa sighed with relief the moment she found her keys and quickened her steps, climbing up the stairs, as Hugh snorted, throwing his arms over his face, wondering how much further out of his league he would still get today. She quickly stepped inside, leaned on one knee on the диван, мягкий уголок and rolled up the shutters: daylight flooded the room, as Hugh sheltered his face from the setting lighting and clutched his arms tighter above it.
And then Lisa turned.
Robert heard someone calling after him. He turned and saw Lisa waving and catching up at a quick pace, almost running as she hurried through the parking lot, all dressed up already.
He smiled “Hey there, Ты all set-up? розовый scrub and everything?” he said, looking her up and down.
“Yeah...I have been, I mean...I...I had the clothes in my trailer”
She realized she was panting but speaking faintly excitedly too, so she lifted up her hair into a long ponytail and tried to got her breath.
Robert scrutinized her “Why were Ты running?” he asked her, curiously sounding slightly puzzled and also quite amused at the same time “It’s not even 8.30 yet”
She breathed in smiling, confused. She hadn’t stopped feeling a little giddy yet “I...I don’t know” she said, still quite out of breath “I just..I just wanted to say hi...I guess”
Robert frowned, but apparently he decided to let it go ‘cause he limited himself to shrug and motioned to the entrance, gesturing for her to go first “After Ты gorgeous...” he сказал(-а) chivalrously.
She couldn’t prevent one glowing smile from flushing over her face this time. She bit her lips, smiling “You all always so adorable around here?”
They passed by Mike and she kept silent for a while then, feeling still too short of breath to talk further and for the first time ever in months ready to admit it really had nothing to do with anything but one thing.
It was scaring the hell out of her, actually at the moment: the way she felt momentarily unable to get a grip on her breath или her heart...it was just something she hadn’t expected. Not like this. And now she truly hadn’t any clue whatsoever at what she would do или say when she would see him. She was even еще clueless than before, if that was even possible. All the confusion she had been sensing inside her felt like having been magnified; curiously, though it was also like it was slowly draining away somehow...
Unconsciously, her lips curled up at the corners.
Robert peered at her “Everything ok?”
She felt she had just flushed up a little “Sure..why..?"
He hesitated “I don’t know. Ты look...“
“What do I look?” she asked, trying to underplay whatever he was noticing in her but realizing her voice just kept coming out with a little too much impatience in it.
This was ridiculous: she was Актёрское искусство like a 14-year-old receiving her first bunch of roses...
Robert pursed his lips into a tight line, pondering for a секунда “High,I guess?” he asked tentatively as they walked through the hall.
She lowered her head a bit, smiling bashfully, but it slowly reached all the way up to her eyes all the same once again.
They arrived at the elevator and she hit the button “How come you’re here by the way?” she asked him, changing the topic “I thought Ты and Hugh...“she made a little pause ‘cause her сердце gave a leap she wasn’t expecting either “...had done with your scenes for this year” she trailed off, getting her breath again.
Robert gestured vaguely “Yeah, we have but then David...”
But as he talked Lisa glanced up, and his voice become nothing еще than a faint murmur in her ears. She took a silent deep breath, rubbing her lips together. She really had to find a way to stop her сердце from thudding like this. She had work to do after all.
Elevator lights lit up: just one еще floor.
The Вопрос however wasn’t just what would she tell him when she saw him, but еще to the point, what she really wanted to.
“Liz, Ты still there?”
She whirled her head round in no time. What was he talking about? Had he asked her something?
“You look...distracted” he сказал(-а) “Something’s bothering you? Something’s happened?”
She goggled “No. No, no..sorry...I’m just...you know...” the elevator doors hissed open and she stepped in walking backwards, pointing up “I’m just a little bit late, that’s all...I’ll call Ты in these days, ok?” she said, as she hit the 5th floor button. She turned to the mirror and pushed her hair up. But the moment she met her image she couldn’t help staring at it: her eyes were tinkling now...they were amazingly glowing and sparkling. She brushed with her fingers under them, softly lifting up the skin on her cheekbones, like she couldn’t believe her eyes. The way her face looked so deeply different from this morning...
She ought to stop fooling herself, really.
No one had ever made her feel like this.
She doubted someone would ever again, actually...
It was six years already and, whether she liked it или not, he was her fixed point. She found herself cyclically gravitating around him no matter what. No matter how many boyfriends she had, no matter how many times she had told herself they could just being friends, this was just not what she wanted.
The doors started to slid closed at her back, but Robert stopped them “Wait...are we gonna see each other again?”
She beamed at him from inside the mirror “What do Ты mean?”
“I mean, weren’t Ты leaving like...this weekend?” he asked, letting go of the door.
She peered at her image once еще and her сердце immediately began to thud faster as she realized she had already made up her mind.
The glimmer of another little, uncontainable smiled flushed over her face and she knew what she wanted.
“I actually might be around for a little longer than I had originally planned...” she said, simply.
And then the elevator doors slid closed.
Hugh kept obsessing himself. He couldn’t help it. It always happened like this to him. Girls had always made him anxious. He had never been good not even at asking them out, even if then miraculously his rumpled, just-woken-up look and his clumsy dry wit had always made him еще attractive to the opposite sex than he would ever understand или believe. But with Lisa...with Lisa it was like going through an interview; when he started to get anxious about everything and he just couldn’t stop thinking about things all the time. And the really destructive part was that it was always retrospective. God knew how much time he had wasted in the past rethinking what he should have сказал(-а) to her или done. And yet here he was always going through the same fucking dance of despair: what if she didn’t feel the same anymore или never truly had? What if she just glossed over it, but things changed forever between them? What if she DIN’T gloss over it but she happened to go straight to the point instead, telling him she was sorry, but she was really better off like this? Even worse...what if she ended up being comforting and Показ him nothing but a kind, friendly concern and he ended up feeling like a pathetic idiot?
He finally lifted his torso up, sitting on the edge. Of all the times he had wasted his time with her, precious time, this was the hugest of them all. And he was Актёрское искусство so like his usual self it was making him sick already. And he had come to loathe his usual.
He rested вперед on his knees, folding his hands and let his head dangle down.It was Невероятное how much Stephen had turned out to be damn right: the еще he thought about it, the obvious it became he hadn’t ever been ready for his little world to be shattered and stolen away from him. Not a bit.
And now that he was playing fair, so to speak, having put everything on the chopping board, it felt like all he couldn’t do anymore was staying still and patiently waiting for life to happen to him once again. On the other hand, right now it felt like he would be able to face whatever came, just as long as he did something. It might even scare the hell out of him, but if he had to chase his luck today, he would go through with it.
So now the Вопрос was just one.
Did he want her...or did he want to stay here wining like a kid over all the possible things that might go wrong?
He sprang up.
Lisa peered up at the panel lights, her сердце still thudding in her veins.
The elevator колокол, колокольчик, белл ringed once.
Ground 1...
She turned around, straightening up and tucked some locks behind her ears. Confusing emotions roiled inside her. Not only Karen had turned out to be damn right, but apparently she had grown even еще engrossed in him than she already was...or knew to be?
Ground 2...
How was that possible? She couldn’t believe she was really reconsidering...
She inhaled deeply, peering up again.
Ground 3...
No. Not even reconsidering was the proper word ‘cause some part of her wasn’t even taking into consideration any way back from where she was standing at this point. Not anymore anyway.
The tinkling sound of the elevator колокол, колокольчик, белл echoed in her ears one еще time.
Ground 4...
She looked up, her breath failing her. The bare thought of remaining alone with him, even for just a couple of минуты felt terrifying at the moment.
And yet, it was also all she craved for...
She didn’t even know what she would tell him. или better she knew but...
Ground 5...
She just didn’t want to run from it any longer anyway. She had already spent too much time and energy trying to Переместить on...and for what? Now she knew that all she wanted...was really just being with him, again.
She still needed him in her life, еще than ever. And...well...Karen was right; there were no real reasons for not being together at the moment. или maybe she just couldn’t see them anymore.
The elevator door hissed open.
She breathed in.
Showdown.
A faint clatter was filling the set: rowdy movements of repairing tools and shreds of dismountable setting dragged along the floor. And there was a delirious coming and going, as if the whole crew had overflowed into there, today.
Lisa got on her tiptoes unsuccessfully trying to spot out David или Greg. She didn’t know whether she was ready to look for somebody else yet.
She took a few steps forward, looking around. It must have been that it was their last official день of shooting but she couldn’t remember this setting ever been so crowded and messy.
Someone suddenly squeezed her arm, gently and she turned.
David passed by her, smiling with his drowsy eyes “Hi there, I see my leading actress’s finally arrived...” he said, cheerfully as he approached the whiteboard at her back.
Lisa hinted at a little, tense smile, feeling sort of relived. She just needed a few extra минуты to get ready to meet him.
Funny: what she feared the most was also what she realized she just couldn’t live without anymore.
After a second, as soon as the phrasing hit her, she arched her eyebrows, smiling a sly smile “Leading actress?!” she asked, wryly.
David shrugged rubbing out one of the scenes on the board “Well, maybe not leading...but supportively leading for sure...” he said, blinking at her. He lowered his tone ever so slightly then, twisting his mouth on one side and slurred the words “Anyway, Huddy being an item make Ты two basically both leading right?”
Lisa gaped, coughing a little laugh. Not only Huddy and item after all these years sounded like a strange pairing once they featured in the same sentence, but hearing David using them together was even weirder.
“You almost sound...happy about it, Ты know? That’s scary….you feeling ok?” she teased crossing her arms over her chest and taking a little step closer.
David burst out laughing “Thanks, Lisa...” he started to write something where once was the scene he had just blotted “I see Ты too along with our lovely fandom believe I must have had some troubled childhood или experienced some early trauma that makes me basically incapable of conceiving happiness...”
Lisa dropped her head down, laughing “Well, Ты must admit...ok, the ‘journey of a broken man’ is fun...sort of” she added, eloquently “but Фаны are sort of making a fair point, lately. Maybe you’ve been teasing...”
“Make way!!!!”
Promptly, Lisa spread her arms open and leapt backwards as a couple of guys passed right in front her, carrying away one of the camp постель, кровати and so she run into something, stamped on somebody’s feet and then stumbled. But it all happened so fast she barely realized the person right behind her had to reach out to seize her by one arm before she fell and place one hand on her hip to balance her.
She turned to apologize.
And predictably she froze.
“Watch out...” Hugh told her gently “Your ankle wont’ be happy to get sprained once again”
He hinted at a tiny smile and slowly let go of her arm.
They looked at each other, but she pulled herself away instantly without even thinking and so even if Hugh wanted to say something, that little embarrassed, apologizing smile she was giving him caused words to choke into his mouth and he eventually kept silent unable to stammer a single word.
After a moment, Lisa opened her mouth to speak herself, realizing she must have дана him the wrong impression.
David beat her to the draw, though “Here we all are then..” he said, nipping whatever she was about to ad-lib she had no idea of, having even forgotten he was there to “Shall we roll?” he asked, as he kept fiddling with the timeline.
Hugh turned to him, impatience building up. He had thought he could do this but he just couldn’t “Sure...” he сказал(-а) clapping his fists together with false poise “You’ll just...ehm...have to hunt Greg down first, I suppose...” he сказал(-а) moistening his lips. He pretended he was giving a quick look around to see whether he might spot him out. He just needed a couple of минуты alone with her; whatever the reason behind the way she had reacted to his presence he had to know “He seemed to have disappeared on us, I’m afraid...” he added.
David turned his head, searching the room “You kidding me” he said, sluggishly “it’s almost 9 am already...”
Hugh shrugged, sympathetically. He still didn’t even know what he would tell her, but he just couldn’t stay still and wait for the right moment to come all день long “Maybe….someone should go and look for him...” he suggested, casually, scratching his neck.
Lisa peered sideways at him, her lower lip tucked into her mouth, as slowly an imperceptible smile began to twitch her lips at the corners.
“Jesus...I know it’s supposed to be our last day...” David сказал(-а) “but really, does Greg think I...”
“I’m here, I’m here...coming”
Hugh slightly swung his head in annoyance. Greg was approaching them at a quick pace, already, having Katie at his side. Just great: the еще crowded the better. They always wasted ages before getting started and now that for once he just needed a couple of fucking minutes, they all conveniently Показать up on time.
Just great.
If there was any doubt left that something might truly go awry today, it had just swept away in his mind.
Katie smiled at them “Hi guys...”
Hugh limited himself to wave, resigned.
Lisa smiled her back and leant against the wall, sighing unnoticeably. The еще crowded it became, the еще she wished they might have had only a couple of минуты for themselves, after all.
But perhaps it wasn’t just written it went like this.
Not yet.
“Oh, good” David сказал(-а) “I was about to go and look for Ты too...”
Hugh bit his bottom lip, peering sideways at Lisa. Did she look embarrassed, flattered или indifferent? After a минута she must have sensed his gaze on her, ‘cause she had slowly turned her eyes to him, smilingly.
еще than that, actually...
Either he was on the right track to lose it, или the shadow of an alluring, sweet little smile had just breathed across her face, lighting her up for a moment.
David took a step back, looking up at the whiteboard “Ok then...time to get some job done”
“What’s this?” asked Katie curiously looking up at the board as she sipped her coffee.
Hugh jumped on the стол письменный, стол at his side, turning to David, impatient building up еще and еще inside him. And he was still dwelling over that smile he had believed to spot in her eyes.
Lisa pressed herself against the wall, pursing her lips. She casted a stealthy look at him.
“Nothing consistent actually...” David said, arms crossed over his chest, looking satisfied “just a burst of inspiration we just came up with Peter, a stare-thing killing moment while getting the POTW in the скорая помощь that it’s gonna sent fan’s mind into overdrive. I’ll tell Ты while shooting this first bunch” he сказал(-а) gesturing to the scenes they had left “come on. We’ve some еще high Huddy drama and a few legs to cut before the great finale” he сказал(-а) in a undertone, casting a sly look at Katie.
Greg passed by them, promptly answering the call “Guys, heard the boss, on set Ты two. You’ve some nice lines to spew at each other” he added, arching his eyebrows at them.
Hugh hinted at a tiny smile but didn’t move, waiting for everyone to be gone, but it was pretty clear to him at this point he wouldn’t have his moment now. He would have to wait to have some of the Ответы to his questions.
If that would ever happen, since Lisa was already following the others, without even looking at him.
But then, as she was about to pass by him, she smiled.
She TRULY smiled.
She smiled AT him.
Like she pointed her dazzling pair of wide, round, pale grey eyes at him and smiled for real this time; shyly even, but engagingly and promisingly enough for him to loose himself in that dazzling beam for a fraction of секунда that became a tiny forever.
And for now, that would do and keep him going.
..................................................
Previously on December/December:
Thursday, 26 March 2010
Hugh spread his arms open, clenching the doorjamb, his eyes severely fixed on her.
Do или die.
“I want to know what happened…” he сказал(-а) straightforwardly.
Lisa rubbed her face with both hands, with utter frustration “To what? What happened to what, Hugh?”
She wished she could just run away and avoid facing this. She knew this would happen. She knew it. And this was exactly why she hadn’t told anyone but David. She should have known better and not tell anyone at all. It would have been pointless even just mentioning it to him, ‘cause she knew they would end up fighting and….there was no purpose in all of this whatsoever. There was nothing to talk about.
Hugh stared at her “To us. I want to know what happened to us…” he said, feeling his сердце leaping up in his throat. That was it. No еще procrastinations. No еще hesitations. He hadn’t time for this shit anymore. He needed to know why and now.
Deadline had loomed once and for all for him.
Truth time.
End of the game.
Slowly, Lisa moved her face out of her hands and lifted her stormy eyes up, pointing them at him. It hurt her even before she spit the words out “There’s no us…”
.................................................
Two days earlier....
24 March 2010
A muffled roar died down in the air.
Hugh dismounted, peeling off his helmet. A warm wind stroked his face and he noticed the chill of the early morning had already started to grow less. He hurried through the parking lot, grimacing at sky: it looked so intensely blue today that it was almost glaring. He had never felt part of it. He had never felt part of the way even the sky itself in L.A. felt like running on energy, optimism, and enthusiasm.
But today...today somehow he did.
Actually, he alternatively found himself giving in to one feeling или another: the faint sense of hope those very gentle gusts of the light spring breeze seemed to carry along with them...and the feeling of an impending disaster hanging down over his head.
He had been doing this for six years already: stepping into this building, working with those people, playing this character, getting the job done...sometimes, feeling like he had just been woken from a long coma and suddenly realized a crazy amount of time had already gone by; but it hadn’t been unpleasant. Not at all. ‘Cause something had slowly been growing inside him, and by now it had enduringly taken roots.
Yet today, accomplishing each one of those familiar, tiny, little things that were usually part of a daily routine he had grown fond of... today it felt like it would be harder than ever.
He pushed the glass door open and stepped into the studios. He quickly waved at the security guard and hurried on, head slightly down, ‘cause дана the way Jeff had just glanced at his watch, he knew he was probably wondering what he was doing there so early on their last day.
And he hadn't time to answer any Вопросы или coming up with any convenient excuses.
He hurtled through the first floor settings, hurriedly and barely gazing around but all the same a funny feeling prickled inside him. He sensed the weird, surreal stillness and the unusual deep silence reigning all around and couldn’t help but wondering whether it boded well или ill.‘Cause it really felt like
...quiet before the storm....
He rolled eyes at himself, pursing his lips at that thought.
It was just a damn cliché thinking like this. He freaking knew it was.
And he hated clichés....
He hated when he was so tense, no matter what he did, he kept having this looming feeling of catastrophe chasing after him. He hated it ‘cause, then, he couldn’t help but going through all the usual, pattern of very predictable, hardly constructive thoughts; and then inevitable disruptive feelings came along and all of it was unlikely conclusive to his cause, right now.
Of course it would feel like quiet before the storm to him, what else might it feel? One didn’t go all-out, so recklessly and witlessly every day, do they? Not with one of the people Ты works with; especially, not with the very one who expressively told Ты already she would rather stay friends, than....
But that had happened months ago.
He also hated when Stephen happened to be able to see through him so much better than he did and could break his shell and talked him into acknowledging he was just behaving like a coward once again, getting cold feet a close step far from all he wanted. Somehow Lisa had been right all along when she had told him the stakes were too high for her to take another chance on him. Indeed, they were high enough to make him a close step from all he wanted and at a stone’s throw from losing everything.
Suddenly, something inside him whirled and coiled at this thought and he swallowed hard. Maybe there was a very good reason why clichés became so after all. Perhaps this undefined feeling of uncertainty was a sign...
He frowned taking the hallway to the right.
He ought to stop this. It was plain stupid looking for signs when the truth was he was just terrified. Plain and simple. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought this through, carefully and long enough already. Dozens of schemes have whirled through his head and then fizzled out uselessly, just as easily as they had come, before he had finally taken a decision, and yet here he was still self-doubting.
Not about the decision of course. That was the easy part. He knew what he wanted.
The Вопросы was, did she want him back?
The thing in his stomach Рапунцель - Запутанная история tighter.
One thing for sure, at least he had been wise enough to not overestimate his nerves. All in all, it was a good thing he had waited for the very last день to come to do this...thing. Deadline might even be looming, but he couldn’t imagine Показ up at work for еще than just a день after feeling like this; especially, if things went amiss.
His stomach squirmed and he knocked on the door, gently, catching his breath.
Game on.
Lisa breathed in for the last time, slowly, letting the air fill up her lungs; she exhaled, letting her muscles relax completely, her mind clear, her сердце follow the rhythm of her breathing. She clasped her hands in front of her chest and pressed the palms against each other as she started to close her legs. Her eyes closed too...as puzzled, sad blue ones stared down into hers and slowly began to get closer... She started to rotate her head, gently and slowly, up and down, from one side to another, inhaling deeply...and the feeling of his lips probing at hers gradually got еще vivid, almost real...She cautiously stretched out her neck, taking another deep breath, trying to focus only on her breathing and the feeling of her body as she slowly let loose of the tension...but the feeling of his hands sneaking around her waist and tugging her closer, as she got carried away by the scent of his skin blending with the taste of his lips was always there too....
She snapped her eyes open and breathed in deeply, rubbing her lips.
It was pretty clear Yoga wasn’t doing her any good this morning. Rather the opposite; she kept feeling tense like a coiled spring.
She extended one leg out to the side and bent вперед over it.
It was getting a 22-catch situation, really. She kept going in circles inside her head and today it was almost their last день and she hadn’t taken a decision yet. или even better, now that she was slowly starting to be honest to herself once again....thank Ты very much Karen....she’d better be willing to admit to herself she had just kept avoiding to. She wondered when this fooling herself about her real feelings had truly started. Whether just recently after she had began to дата John или even before; или maybe that night he had brought her to the Observatory. She had no idea. Maybe she was just so used to never act on her true feelings that she had Остаться в живых track of the time that had passed.
She bent вперед over the other leg, stretching it. One thing for sure, though, she had a serious problem here and it won’t sort itself out on its own. But what was she supposed to do, anyway? Just dump John from the overseas and....what? Fling her arms around his neck and.....happily ever after? It was plain ridiculous to say the least....was it?
She lifted her torso up and breathed out once еще to ease the oppressive feeling now stirring in her chest. She slowly started to rotate her head from one side to another once again, thinking that maybe, if she made one final effort, and just kept her eyes softly closed like this and simply tried to...
The piercing sound of an alarm crept in.
She peered at her watch. 7.00 am.
She couldn’t defer any longer.
She had to go.
The moment he pushed the door open, Rosie lifted her eyes up. She was chewing a pen cup, and held the storage book in her hands “Hugh...come on in, what are Ты doing here so early?”
He stalled for a second. What was he doing there was a very good question. What was SHE doing there at such crazy час would have been a better one, though. He suspected it had something to do with then universe never been cooperative to him.
Just a feeling...
“Hi Rose, ehm....I was just wondering....” he paused, casting a quick, sneaky look at the storage book “...whether I might pick up my clothes now” he ad-libbed, nervously. Rosie gave him a questioning look. или so it felt “I’ve...I’ve a few extra things to take care of today...” he сказал(-а) scratching his arm “You know....last days....final lines, the finale...stuff....David at my throat...the usual” he cut short, taking one clumsy step forward.
Rosie gave him an amused, affectionate glance this time “Always the вверх of the class, huh?”
He smirked embarrassingly feeling awkwardly. He was just as tensed as a coiled spring “Yeah...well, Ты know me...”
Rosie jumped off the стол письменный, стол she was seated on “Wait here. Be right back” she said, rushing to the back.
He stretched his neck out, checking for her to be gone and then took another guarded step forward, but before he could reach the стол письменный, стол his сердце leapt into his throat.
“You know...” he heard her yelling suddenly, as stifling through some stuff in the back.
He took a silent deep breath.
Get a grip, for Christ’s sake....
“....I got the chance to have a look at the script and a watch a couple a takes yesterday and I gotta tell you, this season finale truly rocks for me...” she said.
He started flipping through the pages of the storage book looking for what he needed.
“...but” Rosie kept on “don’t Ты think this is getting...I don’t know...a little bit too damn gloomily depressing in the end?”
He bit his lips “Yeah...might be...” he answered absentmindedly, his eyes scrolling down the чулок list. “Why?”
He slid the finger down the page and noticed his hand was slightly trembling. For the Любовь of God, he wasn’t a kid peeping at the behavioural notes on his teacher’s class roll, was him?
Just stop it and get a grip...
He heard her dragging some boxes along on the floor, maybe moving them away with her feet.
“Well...these two people had always been connected, right? They belong to one another in еще than a way I believe...so don’t they deserve a happy ending of sort one day?”
Hugh kept searching.
“...I mean...maybe David is spinning it out a little bit too much, don’t Ты think? One has to take a leap of faith, eventually...it’s just a matter of courage really, isn’t it?” she asked.
He lifted his eyes up from the page, losing sight of what he was doing for a moment.
“Of course no one can guarantee Ты it’s not gonna turn out to be a total disaster...you never know whether the other is just as ready as Ты are или feels the same или will always do...” she pointed out, matter-of-factly.
He lowered his eyes on the page again. This conversation wasn’t doing him any good. Rather the opposite; he’d better put a stop to it before he went back to his paranoiac usual mental coming and going of negative thoughts got to him once again.
Besides he ought to buy himself some extra time. He still hadn’t found what he needed.
“Ehm Rosie...” he called “....would Ты mind, giving me also an extra pair of sneakers? I forgot Главная the one Ты gave me yesterday....”
He began to slide his index down the right column.
“Sure...” Rosie answered “Wait up...”
After a bunch of seconds, he finally found it.
S.7. Ep. 22.
Cuddy: розовый scrub. Sneakers.
Wen. 23, March 2010
Out.
Edelstein L.
11.30 a.m.
He snapped the book closed and put it back where Rosie had left it, as his сердце pounded a little faster and he ran swiftly through the hypothesis, his mind racing: if things went as he thought, and Lisa had kept her clothes from yesterday, and she didn’t need to stop by the make-up, ‘cause this location didn’t require any, it just meant that she would be in her trailer to change her clothes by...
He rubbed his nape and then his jaw, thinking.
Of course it might also happen that after all of this she wouldn't even see it. дана his usual luck, either she wouldn't stop by her trailer eventually or, most probably, she would predictably forget her keys Главная and all of this last-minute-all-in-strategy would fall through...
He suddenly stopped his thinking.
You really can’t help thinking about things all the time, can you?
He shook his head, halfway between exasperation and frustration.
How much time did he have, anyway? He checked his watch: 7.10.
He had one час maybe. If he get lucky a little more. But most probably...he won’t.
He still had to stop by the make-up to have himself set up with scars, sutures and everything. He would never make it.
Rosie came back with his clothes “Ok...here we are. Leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans and sneakers” she сказал(-а) passing them to him. They were already all piled up and folded, with the sneakers on вверх “You want your cane too?”
“No no, it’s ok...I’ll stop by later for that” he said, taking the clothes “Thanks Rosie...sorry for the early-morning call” he said, hurrying to the door.
She put a little smile on her lips and went back to her stuff “You’re welcome, no problem, anytime”
He really had to hurry up. One час wasn’t enough, especially if he also had to look for that spare copy of her trailer keys she had дана him months ago.
When did the closer florist open?
This would have been so much easier if she hadn’t taken her clothes already and he could have just placed them in her wardrobe....but this wasn’t apparently his lucky day, was it?
Anyhow, he hadn’t changed his mind about this.
Not a bit.
Come what may, he knew what he wanted.
Lisa walked up bare feet to the bathroom, sipping from a tiny bottle. She slid the душ door open and let the water run, waiting for it to reach the right temperature. She emptied the bottle, threw it away and leaned on her arms against the basin, scrutinizing her face in the mirror.
Her phone lit up once at her side, remembering her she still had one missing call she hadn’t checked on. But she just casted a quick, distracted glance at it, without even picking it up. Instead, she splashed her face with some cold water, while her mind kept racing restlessly: tomorrow was the день already. Tomorrow was the день and she didn’t even know whether she could entirely trust herself and make this...thing while keeping her house of cards from collapsing over her. She sighed and reached out for the towel. Did she wanted to? Keep it from collapsing? или Karen was annoyingly right as usual and she was just avoiding coming to terms with her feelings? She dried her face, peering at her image, wondering whether maybe there was just some secret part of her who had been wishing for him to be the one who would take this plunge this time. She knew she was the one who had turned him down last time, but...was she waiting for this? For him to prove her...and she would keep running away as long as he didn’t... what did she want him to prove her anyway? That he wanted her badly enough and even еще strongly than he had before? Was this what all of this was really about? Feeling безопасно, сейф enough to put herself out there, once again? Would she ever feel like this with him? Protected and safe? So Karen was truly right...it really was just a matter of will-we или won’t-we work.
The glass started to steam up, blurring her image.
She gotta run. It was getting later and later.
She quickly peeled her clothes off and stepped into the shower, closing her eyes as she put her face right under the steaming, hot water jet.
She let the water run down over her body for a few еще секунды then but those in turn became minutes. Maybe, if she just tried harder and only focused on John, on their holidays and brushed away the thought of him, maybe she might find a way to avoid answering all these questions....
But then as she pushed her hair back and curled her shoulders under the water, she felt his arms, encircling her from behind and then his lips working their way up to her neck, slowly and gently Поцелуи her wet skin, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go backwards even if she had wanted to.
Problem was...she started to doubt whether she ever truly had.
Hugh seized the pen again, racking his brain. Three ripped-and-crumpled-up-into-his-pockets-notes-ago he was still moderately calm and rather confident he might after all do this. Now, at his fifth attempt, it felt like he had possibly overestimated himself this time.
He was no good with words.
Not with this kind of words anyway.
But he had to nail this, damn it. He had дана this too much thought to ruin it all like this. He cared too much.
He began to tap with his thumb on the таблица and casted a quick glance at the red Розы and white hydrangeas lying at his side. He hoped he remembered correctly, at least, ‘cause hydrangeas should have been among her favorites, but he wasn’t sure. And Розы alone felt like...a pretty dull, overrated choice.
Цветы weren’t his thing. As much as notes apparently....
He tried to focus, tossing his head backwards.
Ok, once again...get a grip for heaven’s sake, you’re not fifteen...
It was obviously a very little, insignificant gesture so all this endless fumbling with words inside his very head was ridiculous. Still, it was also true that this was his chance, probably the last, real one he had to take this plunge. And even if he was dressing it up as a little complimentary homage for her episode, which would air once she would be away, it was always something he was making for her, so it’d better feel special enough to make it up for...well, all the rest he wasn’t able to tell her but he wished he would have found the words for.
He took a deep breath and let the pen slide over the paper, once again, carefully weighting his words and hoping he was being finally able to arrange them in the most graceful way possible; in a way that wouldn’t sound like...too much...or not enough. He wasn’t even sure what the sound of it should be.
He hesitated over the last few lines and the pen trembled a little in his hand, as he took his leap.
I’ll miss Ты terribly Liz...I actually miss Ты already.
And I wish Ты would stay here with me…
I wish Ты wanted to…as much as I do
With love,
Hugh
He reread it all, once again slowly. Twice to be sure he had сказал(-а) everything he wanted to. A third time just because he still needed time to process what he was actually doing.
He must have Остаться в живых it.
He surely had.
For her at least.
But then again there didn’t seem to be any way back from where he was standing at the moment.
Not anymore, anyway.
It was showdown. And maybe it wasn’t up to him calling any shot this time или expecting her to simply fling her arms around his neck, suddenly playing by his rules as if she hadn’t been expecting anything better, but he got to do something. Stephen was right and Robert before him. He couldn’t give up on her go without even trying again. Then, if she didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, he would let her go, as much as unbearably painful the bare thought of it was. He wonder how much it would hurt if it came true...
He carefully placed the note among the Цветы and run up to the door, quickly. He dared to turn around one last time, staring at the little таблица right in front the диван, мягкий уголок where they lay and he tried to picture the moment she would see them.
But then his breath almost failed him and he left without looking back.
Lisa was walking through the parking lot, stifling through her кошелек as Hugh lay down on one the camp beds that had been arranged for the setting. He was keeping his eyes closed, arms crossed behind his head and his ears well-strained.
She had just been to Rosie to pick up some clothes she couldn’t even remember she had left in her trailer and now she had the terrible feeling she might have forgotten her keys home.
Hugh was nervous.
Unbelievably nervous about this and a thousand different Вопросы with no answer kept forming and fizzling out in his head, regardless his repeated attempts to lock them out. Lisa kept digging in her кошелек and hurrying to her trailer, brainstorming, ‘cause if she had to rush back home, David would have surely killed her.
On the other hand...how could he possibly know whether she hadn’t even found them или was just glossing over it, if he didn’t ask her any of it? Lisa sighed with relief the moment she found her keys and quickened her steps, climbing up the stairs, as Hugh snorted, throwing his arms over his face, wondering how much further out of his league he would still get today. She quickly stepped inside, leaned on one knee on the диван, мягкий уголок and rolled up the shutters: daylight flooded the room, as Hugh sheltered his face from the setting lighting and clutched his arms tighter above it.
And then Lisa turned.
Robert heard someone calling after him. He turned and saw Lisa waving and catching up at a quick pace, almost running as she hurried through the parking lot, all dressed up already.
He smiled “Hey there, Ты all set-up? розовый scrub and everything?” he said, looking her up and down.
“Yeah...I have been, I mean...I...I had the clothes in my trailer”
She realized she was panting but speaking faintly excitedly too, so she lifted up her hair into a long ponytail and tried to got her breath.
Robert scrutinized her “Why were Ты running?” he asked her, curiously sounding slightly puzzled and also quite amused at the same time “It’s not even 8.30 yet”
She breathed in smiling, confused. She hadn’t stopped feeling a little giddy yet “I...I don’t know” she said, still quite out of breath “I just..I just wanted to say hi...I guess”
Robert frowned, but apparently he decided to let it go ‘cause he limited himself to shrug and motioned to the entrance, gesturing for her to go first “After Ты gorgeous...” he сказал(-а) chivalrously.
She couldn’t prevent one glowing smile from flushing over her face this time. She bit her lips, smiling “You all always so adorable around here?”
They passed by Mike and she kept silent for a while then, feeling still too short of breath to talk further and for the first time ever in months ready to admit it really had nothing to do with anything but one thing.
It was scaring the hell out of her, actually at the moment: the way she felt momentarily unable to get a grip on her breath или her heart...it was just something she hadn’t expected. Not like this. And now she truly hadn’t any clue whatsoever at what she would do или say when she would see him. She was even еще clueless than before, if that was even possible. All the confusion she had been sensing inside her felt like having been magnified; curiously, though it was also like it was slowly draining away somehow...
Unconsciously, her lips curled up at the corners.
Robert peered at her “Everything ok?”
She felt she had just flushed up a little “Sure..why..?"
He hesitated “I don’t know. Ты look...“
“What do I look?” she asked, trying to underplay whatever he was noticing in her but realizing her voice just kept coming out with a little too much impatience in it.
This was ridiculous: she was Актёрское искусство like a 14-year-old receiving her first bunch of roses...
Robert pursed his lips into a tight line, pondering for a секунда “High,I guess?” he asked tentatively as they walked through the hall.
She lowered her head a bit, smiling bashfully, but it slowly reached all the way up to her eyes all the same once again.
They arrived at the elevator and she hit the button “How come you’re here by the way?” she asked him, changing the topic “I thought Ты and Hugh...“she made a little pause ‘cause her сердце gave a leap she wasn’t expecting either “...had done with your scenes for this year” she trailed off, getting her breath again.
Robert gestured vaguely “Yeah, we have but then David...”
But as he talked Lisa glanced up, and his voice become nothing еще than a faint murmur in her ears. She took a silent deep breath, rubbing her lips together. She really had to find a way to stop her сердце from thudding like this. She had work to do after all.
Elevator lights lit up: just one еще floor.
The Вопрос however wasn’t just what would she tell him when she saw him, but еще to the point, what she really wanted to.
“Liz, Ты still there?”
She whirled her head round in no time. What was he talking about? Had he asked her something?
“You look...distracted” he сказал(-а) “Something’s bothering you? Something’s happened?”
She goggled “No. No, no..sorry...I’m just...you know...” the elevator doors hissed open and she stepped in walking backwards, pointing up “I’m just a little bit late, that’s all...I’ll call Ты in these days, ok?” she said, as she hit the 5th floor button. She turned to the mirror and pushed her hair up. But the moment she met her image she couldn’t help staring at it: her eyes were tinkling now...they were amazingly glowing and sparkling. She brushed with her fingers under them, softly lifting up the skin on her cheekbones, like she couldn’t believe her eyes. The way her face looked so deeply different from this morning...
She ought to stop fooling herself, really.
No one had ever made her feel like this.
She doubted someone would ever again, actually...
It was six years already and, whether she liked it или not, he was her fixed point. She found herself cyclically gravitating around him no matter what. No matter how many boyfriends she had, no matter how many times she had told herself they could just being friends, this was just not what she wanted.
The doors started to slid closed at her back, but Robert stopped them “Wait...are we gonna see each other again?”
She beamed at him from inside the mirror “What do Ты mean?”
“I mean, weren’t Ты leaving like...this weekend?” he asked, letting go of the door.
She peered at her image once еще and her сердце immediately began to thud faster as she realized she had already made up her mind.
The glimmer of another little, uncontainable smiled flushed over her face and she knew what she wanted.
“I actually might be around for a little longer than I had originally planned...” she said, simply.
And then the elevator doors slid closed.
Hugh kept obsessing himself. He couldn’t help it. It always happened like this to him. Girls had always made him anxious. He had never been good not even at asking them out, even if then miraculously his rumpled, just-woken-up look and his clumsy dry wit had always made him еще attractive to the opposite sex than he would ever understand или believe. But with Lisa...with Lisa it was like going through an interview; when he started to get anxious about everything and he just couldn’t stop thinking about things all the time. And the really destructive part was that it was always retrospective. God knew how much time he had wasted in the past rethinking what he should have сказал(-а) to her или done. And yet here he was always going through the same fucking dance of despair: what if she didn’t feel the same anymore или never truly had? What if she just glossed over it, but things changed forever between them? What if she DIN’T gloss over it but she happened to go straight to the point instead, telling him she was sorry, but she was really better off like this? Even worse...what if she ended up being comforting and Показ him nothing but a kind, friendly concern and he ended up feeling like a pathetic idiot?
He finally lifted his torso up, sitting on the edge. Of all the times he had wasted his time with her, precious time, this was the hugest of them all. And he was Актёрское искусство so like his usual self it was making him sick already. And he had come to loathe his usual.
He rested вперед on his knees, folding his hands and let his head dangle down.It was Невероятное how much Stephen had turned out to be damn right: the еще he thought about it, the obvious it became he hadn’t ever been ready for his little world to be shattered and stolen away from him. Not a bit.
And now that he was playing fair, so to speak, having put everything on the chopping board, it felt like all he couldn’t do anymore was staying still and patiently waiting for life to happen to him once again. On the other hand, right now it felt like he would be able to face whatever came, just as long as he did something. It might even scare the hell out of him, but if he had to chase his luck today, he would go through with it.
So now the Вопрос was just one.
Did he want her...or did he want to stay here wining like a kid over all the possible things that might go wrong?
He sprang up.
Lisa peered up at the panel lights, her сердце still thudding in her veins.
The elevator колокол, колокольчик, белл ringed once.
Ground 1...
She turned around, straightening up and tucked some locks behind her ears. Confusing emotions roiled inside her. Not only Karen had turned out to be damn right, but apparently she had grown even еще engrossed in him than she already was...or knew to be?
Ground 2...
How was that possible? She couldn’t believe she was really reconsidering...
She inhaled deeply, peering up again.
Ground 3...
No. Not even reconsidering was the proper word ‘cause some part of her wasn’t even taking into consideration any way back from where she was standing at this point. Not anymore anyway.
The tinkling sound of the elevator колокол, колокольчик, белл echoed in her ears one еще time.
Ground 4...
She looked up, her breath failing her. The bare thought of remaining alone with him, even for just a couple of минуты felt terrifying at the moment.
And yet, it was also all she craved for...
She didn’t even know what she would tell him. или better she knew but...
Ground 5...
She just didn’t want to run from it any longer anyway. She had already spent too much time and energy trying to Переместить on...and for what? Now she knew that all she wanted...was really just being with him, again.
She still needed him in her life, еще than ever. And...well...Karen was right; there were no real reasons for not being together at the moment. или maybe she just couldn’t see them anymore.
The elevator door hissed open.
She breathed in.
Showdown.
A faint clatter was filling the set: rowdy movements of repairing tools and shreds of dismountable setting dragged along the floor. And there was a delirious coming and going, as if the whole crew had overflowed into there, today.
Lisa got on her tiptoes unsuccessfully trying to spot out David или Greg. She didn’t know whether she was ready to look for somebody else yet.
She took a few steps forward, looking around. It must have been that it was their last official день of shooting but she couldn’t remember this setting ever been so crowded and messy.
Someone suddenly squeezed her arm, gently and she turned.
David passed by her, smiling with his drowsy eyes “Hi there, I see my leading actress’s finally arrived...” he said, cheerfully as he approached the whiteboard at her back.
Lisa hinted at a little, tense smile, feeling sort of relived. She just needed a few extra минуты to get ready to meet him.
Funny: what she feared the most was also what she realized she just couldn’t live without anymore.
After a second, as soon as the phrasing hit her, she arched her eyebrows, smiling a sly smile “Leading actress?!” she asked, wryly.
David shrugged rubbing out one of the scenes on the board “Well, maybe not leading...but supportively leading for sure...” he said, blinking at her. He lowered his tone ever so slightly then, twisting his mouth on one side and slurred the words “Anyway, Huddy being an item make Ты two basically both leading right?”
Lisa gaped, coughing a little laugh. Not only Huddy and item after all these years sounded like a strange pairing once they featured in the same sentence, but hearing David using them together was even weirder.
“You almost sound...happy about it, Ты know? That’s scary….you feeling ok?” she teased crossing her arms over her chest and taking a little step closer.
David burst out laughing “Thanks, Lisa...” he started to write something where once was the scene he had just blotted “I see Ты too along with our lovely fandom believe I must have had some troubled childhood или experienced some early trauma that makes me basically incapable of conceiving happiness...”
Lisa dropped her head down, laughing “Well, Ты must admit...ok, the ‘journey of a broken man’ is fun...sort of” she added, eloquently “but Фаны are sort of making a fair point, lately. Maybe you’ve been teasing...”
“Make way!!!!”
Promptly, Lisa spread her arms open and leapt backwards as a couple of guys passed right in front her, carrying away one of the camp постель, кровати and so she run into something, stamped on somebody’s feet and then stumbled. But it all happened so fast she barely realized the person right behind her had to reach out to seize her by one arm before she fell and place one hand on her hip to balance her.
She turned to apologize.
And predictably she froze.
“Watch out...” Hugh told her gently “Your ankle wont’ be happy to get sprained once again”
He hinted at a tiny smile and slowly let go of her arm.
They looked at each other, but she pulled herself away instantly without even thinking and so even if Hugh wanted to say something, that little embarrassed, apologizing smile she was giving him caused words to choke into his mouth and he eventually kept silent unable to stammer a single word.
After a moment, Lisa opened her mouth to speak herself, realizing she must have дана him the wrong impression.
David beat her to the draw, though “Here we all are then..” he said, nipping whatever she was about to ad-lib she had no idea of, having even forgotten he was there to “Shall we roll?” he asked, as he kept fiddling with the timeline.
Hugh turned to him, impatience building up. He had thought he could do this but he just couldn’t “Sure...” he сказал(-а) clapping his fists together with false poise “You’ll just...ehm...have to hunt Greg down first, I suppose...” he сказал(-а) moistening his lips. He pretended he was giving a quick look around to see whether he might spot him out. He just needed a couple of минуты alone with her; whatever the reason behind the way she had reacted to his presence he had to know “He seemed to have disappeared on us, I’m afraid...” he added.
David turned his head, searching the room “You kidding me” he said, sluggishly “it’s almost 9 am already...”
Hugh shrugged, sympathetically. He still didn’t even know what he would tell her, but he just couldn’t stay still and wait for the right moment to come all день long “Maybe….someone should go and look for him...” he suggested, casually, scratching his neck.
Lisa peered sideways at him, her lower lip tucked into her mouth, as slowly an imperceptible smile began to twitch her lips at the corners.
“Jesus...I know it’s supposed to be our last day...” David сказал(-а) “but really, does Greg think I...”
“I’m here, I’m here...coming”
Hugh slightly swung his head in annoyance. Greg was approaching them at a quick pace, already, having Katie at his side. Just great: the еще crowded the better. They always wasted ages before getting started and now that for once he just needed a couple of fucking minutes, they all conveniently Показать up on time.
Just great.
If there was any doubt left that something might truly go awry today, it had just swept away in his mind.
Katie smiled at them “Hi guys...”
Hugh limited himself to wave, resigned.
Lisa smiled her back and leant against the wall, sighing unnoticeably. The еще crowded it became, the еще she wished they might have had only a couple of минуты for themselves, after all.
But perhaps it wasn’t just written it went like this.
Not yet.
“Oh, good” David сказал(-а) “I was about to go and look for Ты too...”
Hugh bit his bottom lip, peering sideways at Lisa. Did she look embarrassed, flattered или indifferent? After a минута she must have sensed his gaze on her, ‘cause she had slowly turned her eyes to him, smilingly.
еще than that, actually...
Either he was on the right track to lose it, или the shadow of an alluring, sweet little smile had just breathed across her face, lighting her up for a moment.
David took a step back, looking up at the whiteboard “Ok then...time to get some job done”
“What’s this?” asked Katie curiously looking up at the board as she sipped her coffee.
Hugh jumped on the стол письменный, стол at his side, turning to David, impatient building up еще and еще inside him. And he was still dwelling over that smile he had believed to spot in her eyes.
Lisa pressed herself against the wall, pursing her lips. She casted a stealthy look at him.
“Nothing consistent actually...” David said, arms crossed over his chest, looking satisfied “just a burst of inspiration we just came up with Peter, a stare-thing killing moment while getting the POTW in the скорая помощь that it’s gonna sent fan’s mind into overdrive. I’ll tell Ты while shooting this first bunch” he сказал(-а) gesturing to the scenes they had left “come on. We’ve some еще high Huddy drama and a few legs to cut before the great finale” he сказал(-а) in a undertone, casting a sly look at Katie.
Greg passed by them, promptly answering the call “Guys, heard the boss, on set Ты two. You’ve some nice lines to spew at each other” he added, arching his eyebrows at them.
Hugh hinted at a tiny smile but didn’t move, waiting for everyone to be gone, but it was pretty clear to him at this point he wouldn’t have his moment now. He would have to wait to have some of the Ответы to his questions.
If that would ever happen, since Lisa was already following the others, without even looking at him.
But then, as she was about to pass by him, she smiled.
She TRULY smiled.
She smiled AT him.
Like she pointed her dazzling pair of wide, round, pale grey eyes at him and smiled for real this time; shyly even, but engagingly and promisingly enough for him to loose himself in that dazzling beam for a fraction of секунда that became a tiny forever.
And for now, that would do and keep him going.