(In a store)

Jareth: How much are these delightful edible crystals?
Cashier: (rolling eyes) they're rock Конфеты sir and a dollar fifty.

(Clothes shopping in the mall)

Jareth: (goes up to employee with pair of leggings) excuse me.

Cashier: (looks up) what can I help Ты with today?

Jareth: (holding up leggings) do Ты have these in men's?

Cashier: (weirded out) yeah...ummm...no.

(At job interview for daycare)

Interviewer: have Ты had any experience with kids before?

Jareth: yes indeed, Ты see when unwanted children are wished away to the underground. I simply take them to my замок in the goblin city where they become goblins and continue to serve me.

Interviewer: I see...and what do Ты like to do in your spare time?

Jareth: I like to gaze into my crystal balls, kick and tease my goblin minions and tralala through my трон room Пение dance magic dance.

Interviewer: (weirded out) ok we'll call Ты letting Ты know if Ты got the job.

(Jareth leaves)

(Interviewer chucks jareth's job application in the trash)

Interviewer: Well he certainly didn't want that job...

(Jareth backs out of Cumberland farms parking lot)

(Gets rear ended)

(Both owners get out of cars to inspect damage)

Owner of other car: oh my god Im so sor---

Jareth: damn Ты peasant I shall throw Ты into the bog of eternal stench before Ты can blink!

(Jareth goes up to an attractive woman at a bar)

woman: Эй, sexy.

Jareth: I ask for so little, just let me rule Ты and Ты can have everything that Ты want.

Woman: excuse me?

Jareth: just fear me, Любовь me do as I say and I will be your slave.

(Woman smacks him upside the head)

Woman: get away from me Ты jerk!

(Walks out of bar)

(Jareth devastated turns into an owl and flies away)