Chapter 15,

March 17, 2008,

Damien and I have been dating for a while now and I turned 14 a few days ago. I'm still managing to keep our relationship a secret from my dad and I don't see anything ruining that in the near future. Damien turns 17 at the end of this year.

I was getting ready to leave the house and go to the кататься на коньках Park. After I snuck out, I went to our usual meeting place that the guys and I had picked out. When I got there, Damien walked up to me and gave me a kiss. Our immature Друзья started saying "gross; Ты two are always Поцелуи each other!" I asked "would Ты rather us make out in front of you?" Brandon rolled his eyes and Damien сказал(-а) "that's what I thought! Ты guys just wait until Ты have girlfriends! AJ and I are going to make so much fun of you!” I kissed him again just to get on their nerves and the two of us chuckled.

The two of us started walking down the улица, уличный and Damien took out his wallet. He сказал(-а) "wait till Ты see what I got yesterday!" I asked "what?" He passed me a card and сказал(-а) "my driver’s license! Now I don't have to drive around with my mom in the car anymore!" I сказал(-а) "that's cool! The only thing that sucks is that Ты don't have a car of your own yet." He сказал(-а) "I might get a job soon so; it won't be long before I do have one." I laughed and сказал(-а) "it's hard to picture Ты driving! I wish Ты could take me somewhere!" He сказал(-а) "my mom doesn't like me driving her car или else I would." I сказал(-а) "I have an idea!" He rolled his eyes and сказал(-а) "oh boy; I can't wait to hear this!" I сказал(-а) "my dad parks his car nowhere near our house and he always leaves the keys in it because no one goes over there." Damien raised his eyebrows and asked "so what you're telling me is that we should just take your dad's car without him knowing?" I laughed and сказал(-а) "that's exactly what I'm saying!"

Damien is a troublemaker too so; he didn't put too much thought into my plan and we casually made our way to where the car is. We walked up to the black Rolls-Royce and Damien's mouth dropped as he asked "this is your dad's car?" I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't know who my dad is and I сказал(-а) "yeah; there it is." He сказал(-а) "wow; your dad's a good businessman!" I сказал(-а) "yeah; now Ты see why he has to hide the car all the way over here in the middle of nowhere." I opened the car door and took the keys out. I pass them to Damien and he сказал(-а) "oh man; I can't believe I get to drive this awesome car!"

He started the car up and I сказал(-а) "whatever Ты do; don't crash because then I'll have to come clean to my dad about sneaking out and dating you!" He сказал(-а) "I passed my driver’s test on the first try so; there's nothing to worry about!" He drove down to the local movie rental place and the two of us got out of the car. I asked "what are we doing here?" He сказал(-а) "I saw the TV that is built into the back сиденье, место, сиденья and figured we could watch a few movies! I'll use my movie card because I always pick up Фильмы on my way Главная from school and I can rent as many Фильмы as I want to for only $15 a month." I asked as we walked inside "what movie did Ты want to get?" He сказал(-а) "let's get Spiderman three because I haven't seen that yet." We went and checked out our movie and then got back into the car.

Damien and I climbed into the back сиденье, место, сиденья and started the movie. Soon after the movie started, it reached a boring part and we started making out. After a few minutes, Damien сказал(-а) "you know; Ты are 14 now." I сказал(-а) "so" and he сказал(-а) "maybe it's time we take that Далее step!" Millions of thoughts came into my head and I asked "you're talking about sex; right?" He smiled and сказал(-а) "yes!" I сказал(-а) "okay" and he took off my shirt.

By the time he had gotten to my jeans, he was already in his boxers. Just as we were about to start, I was remembering the talk that dad and I had on the пляж, пляжный that день back in 2006. I looked at Damien and asked "wait; do Ты have a condom on you?" He сказал(-а) "we'll be fine without one!" I asked hesitating a little bit "what makes Ты think that?" He сказал(-а) "all three of the guys have already Остаться в живых their virginity and they didn't use condoms! I'll just pull out before it gets too intense. Trust me; there's nothing to worry about! I know it will work!" I сказал(-а) "well; as long as Ты promise that you’ll pull out then we can have sex!" He got excited and сказал(-а) "I will; I promise!"

Afterwards, Damien and I brought the car back to where it belongs. He walked with me until we were about three blocks away from my house. I didn't want him to see where I lived because then he would know that Michael Jackson is my dad. He leaned in to Kiss me and I сказал(-а) "I didn't know losing your virginity was supposed to hurt this bad!" He сказал(-а) "it didn't hurt me!" I сказал(-а) "I knew my first time was supposed to hurt because I'm a girl but; this is way worse than I thought it would be!" He сказал(-а) "it should be better by tomorrow but; I have to get going before my mom starts to worry."

March 18, 2008,

I came downstairs and was still in excruciating pain from losing my virginity last night and walked into the living room. Dad walked up behind me and сказал(-а) "good morning AJ!" He kissed my forehead and сказал(-а) "I Любовь you!" I сказал(-а) "I Любовь Ты too." As I sat down on the couch, Blanket came over and sat on my lap and I сказал(-а) "ouch!" Before I realized that I сказал(-а) that out loud, dad asked "what's wrong?" I сказал(-а) "oh nothing; I just slept on my back all night long without rolling over and I'm a little sore." He сказал(-а) "just go upstairs and sleep for a while; it should feel better after that!"

I have to admit that sleeping sounded pretty good because of the amount of pain I was in. I went upstairs and ended up sleeping for seven hours straight. When I woke up, I was feeling a lot better and wasn't worried anymore about dad finding out!

April 10, 2008,

I'm pacing around my bedroom because I bought a pregnancy test. I'm really worried at this point because I've had all the early signs of being pregnant. I closed my eyes and then open them as I looked down at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and took a closer look as I saw a розовый plus sign on it. I immediately started crying as I held my head in my hands and sat down on the bed. I picked up my cell phone and texted "Damien; I need to tell Ты something!" He responded 20 минуты later by saying "what's going on?" My fingers stroked the keyboard on my cell phone as I tried to figure out what to say

I finally just took a picture of the pregnancy test and sent it to Damien. He responded "what is that?" I asked "what does it look like?" He сказал(-а) "alright AJ; this joke really isn't funny anymore!" I сказал(-а) "IT'S NOT A JOKE DAMIEN!" I waited for a response for over an час but there wasn't one.

I knew that I would eventually have to tell my dad EVERYTHING so; I just wanted to get it over with. I opened my bedroom door and asked "dad; can Ты come in my room for a minute?" He smiled and сказал(-а) "of course!" I shut the door and he сказал(-а) "it's been a long time since I've spent time with Ты alone." I took a deep breath as I sat back down on my постель, кровати and сказал(-а) "I want to talk to you." He сказал(-а) "okay" and I сказал(-а) "I think Ты should sit down!" He pulled my computer chair across from me and сказал(-а) "alright; I'm sitting!" I сказал(-а) "before I really start talking I need Ты to promise me that Ты won't interrupt?" He сказал(-а) "okay; I promise!"

As I got up the courage to start the conversation, I stared at his smile and perfect teeth. I took a deep breath and сказал(-а) "I haven't been as well behaved as Ты think I have since we got to Vegas. There are three things that I need to tell you. The first thing is that I've been sneaking out of the house since we moved here!" He raised his eyebrows and I сказал(-а) "the секунда thing is that I have boyfriend!" His eyes widened as big as saucers and mouth slightly opened.

Before I could get to the third thing, dad asked under his breath "you've been sneaking out of the house? Ты have boyfriend?" I shook my head in agreement and he сказал(-а) "you're not 16 years old yet! What are Ты doing sneaking out of the house and dating some guy?" I сказал(-а) "no one knows what my face looks like in public because I wear my mask when I'm out with Ты so; no one notices me when I'm not wearing it!" He сказал(-а) "you've been going out of the house without your mask on!" I shook my head again and he asked with clear irritation in his voice "who is this boy you're dating???" I сказал(-а) "his name is Damien and I met him at an alley a few blocks away from here. We hang out at the кататься на коньках Park together all the time and I've made a few other Друзья also!" Dad asked "how old is he?" I took a deep breath and whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear me. He asked "what?" I сказал(-а) "he'll be 17 at the end of this year." Dad's mouth dropped wide open and сказал(-а) "17; he's going to be 17 by the time you're almost 15!!!" He started to get really angry with the fact that I had a boyfriend and that he is two years older than I am!

Dad slammed his fist down on my nightstand and сказал(-а) "I'm not angry with Ты but; this guy must be really stupid if he thinks dating a 14-year-old is okay!" He looked up at me and asked "what was the third thing that Ты wanted to tell me?" I сказал(-а) "I don't think I can tell Ты so; I'll Показать you."

My hand shook as I passed dad the positive pregnancy test and he looked down at it. He literally didn't say anything for 15 минуты as he stared down at it. I saw tears pour down his face as he shook his head in disbelief. He asked "you're pregnant?" I started to cry because of how emotional he was and сказал(-а) "yes!" He сказал(-а) "well; there goes your childhood forever! I tried so hard to make sure that Ты had the chance to be a kid! You're only 14 years old and you're going to be a mother!!!" He wiped tears away and сказал(-а) "you knew I didn't want Ты having sex and Ты went and did it anyway! Where did Ты two have sex?" I hesitated and he asked "WHERE DID Ты TWO HAVE SEX?" I сказал(-а) with a shaky voice "in the Rolls-Royce." He сказал(-а) as he put his hands on the вверх of his head "in my car? Ты HAD SEX IN MY CAR!!!"


Dad started gagging and сказал(-а) "even though I don't want Ты having sex; I thought I explained to Ты the importance of using a condom! If you're going to have sex even though I told Ты not to; I would want Ты to use a condom! Why didn't this Damien kid put one on?" I сказал(-а) while wiping away tears "he didn't have one and he told me that he would pull out before things got too intense!" Dad looked at me in disgust as he pictured what I was describing and сказал(-а) "Alanna; don't listen to a guy when they say that! It doesn't work; trust me!!!" I сказал(-а) while sobbing "yeah; I can see that now!"

My dad saw that reality was hitting me and hitting me hard! He sat down Далее to me on the постель, кровати in silence as he stared at the pregnancy test once more. He hugged me and squeezed me as tight as he possibly could! He сказал(-а) trying to console me "I know; it's going to be hard but; we’ll get through it! I smiled up at him and he сказал(-а) "there's always a positive side! Ты have a human being growing inside Ты and that's one of God's greatest gifts! You're going to have to grow up fast but; I'll be here to help Ты every step the way!" I asked calming myself down "are Ты mad at me dad?" He сказал(-а) the words no child wants to hear "no; but I am disappointed in you!" We got up and he went over to my closet. He took out my baseball bat and сказал(-а) "I don't want to hear Ты complain; you're Показ me where Damien’s house is!"

Dad and I pulled up in front of Damien's mother's house. We both got out of the car and he opened up the trunk. He took the baseball bat out and I asked "what do Ты need that for?" He didn't answer me and I сказал(-а) "don't hurt him daddy!" Dad looked at me as we walked up the front steps and сказал(-а) "I'm not making any promises!"

I knocked on the door and Damien’s mom answered it. She didn't notice dad at first and сказал(-а) "hi AJ!" Her eyes slowly moved over to dad and she asked while stuttering "are Ты Michael Jackson?" Dad сказал(-а) "yes I am; is Damien here?" She сказал(-а) "come on in; he's in the living room." We walked inside and Damien was sitting on the couch. Damien looked up in shock at the fact that Michael Jackson was standing in his living room!

Before Damien could say anything, dad grabbed him by his T-shirt and pinned him up against the wall! Kate asked "WHAT DO Ты THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY SON?" Dad сказал(-а) "WHY DON'T Ты ASK YOUR SON?" Damien looked at me confused and I сказал(-а) "well; Ты finally met my dad!" Damien asked "MICHAEL JACKSON IS YOUR DAD???" I сказал(-а) "yup" and Kate asked "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!" Dad сказал(-а) "apparently; Damien got Alanna pregnant!" She looked at Damien and сказал(-а) "WHAT!" Damien сказал(-а) with a nervous laugh "congratulations grandma!" Dad сказал(-а) as he raised his fist to перфоратор, удар, пунш him "I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL Ты LITTLE ASSHOLE!!!"

I lowered dad's fist away from Damien's face and сказал(-а) "can't we just talk about this without all the screaming!" Dad took a deep breath and released his grip on Damien’s рубашка and сказал(-а) "you're right." Kate gestured for dad and I to sit down on the диван, мягкий уголок Далее to them. She went and got some snacks for us to eat while dad tried to intimidate Damien with the stare he was giving him. When Kate came back into the room, I сказал(-а) "all right; if we're going to have this conversation we need to do it without the yelling because that's not going to get us anywhere."

Damien looked at my dad and waited for him to say something. Dad looked at Kate with the same expression of disbelief on his face. Kate just shook her head over and over because she couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Dad interrupted the silence by asking "what would make Ты think that it's okay for Ты to дата a 14-year-old?" Damien сказал(-а) "I don't think two years is that much of an age difference between AJ and I." Dad сказал(-а) "okay well; I disagree with that. How come Ты didn't use protection?" Damien stuttered "I – I didn't think we needed too. I thought if I pulled out nothing would happen." Kate rolled her eyes and сказал(-а) "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Damien and you’ve сказал(-а) a lot of stupid things before." Dad сказал(-а) "that obviously didn't work! Damien let out a deep sigh and сказал(-а) "yeah; I know!" Kate сказал(-а) "you seem like Ты don't care Damien! I don't think Ты understand the gravity of the situation! There is a baby growing inside of Alanna right now and you're the whole reason the baby is there in the first place!" Dad nodded in agreement and сказал(-а) "you took the words right out of my mouth." Kate сказал(-а) "this is so much to take in at once! First I find out that AJ's father is Michael Jackson! Then I find out Ты and AJ had sex! Then to вверх it all off, you're going to be a father at 16 years old!" Dad сказал(-а) "tell me about it! I think everyone should just take a few days before we really talk about this because this is a lot to take in."

As dad and I got back into his car, we both looked at each other in silence before he turned the key in the ignition. I сказал(-а) "I'm really sorry Dad. I didn't want any of this happened so soon!" He сказал(-а) "I know Ты didn't… It's just really disappointing and it hurts!" I just looked down at my feet because I knew there's nothing I could have сказал(-а) to make the situation any better. I remember looking at dad and just thinking to myself "I wonder what he's thinking about? I really hurt him this time; I can tell by the look on his face!!!”

April 12, 2008,

Dad and I haven't really talked about me being pregnant since we left Damien's house a few days назад because he doesn't want my siblings to find out just yet. I was up in my room lying in my bed, when dad came in and shut the door behind him. He asked "can I talk to Ты for a minute?" I looked up at the ceiling and сказал(-а) "yeah sure." He sat down on my постель, кровати and smirked down at me.

He сказал(-а) as he held my hand "I've been thinking… I was wondering what do Ты want to do with the baby?" I сказал(-а) "well; I'm of course going to keep it!" He asked with a worried tone in his voice "are Ты sure about that? It's a lot of work taking care of a baby and it's not just for a few years; you're making a lifelong commitment! Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, going to doctors’ appointments… IT'S A LOT OF WORK!" I сказал(-а) "I'll make it through it!" He сказал(-а) "I'd like to offer Ты something and it's up to Ты whether или not Ты like the idea. I won't be upset if Ты don't go along with it.” I looked up at him and asked "what?" He sighed and сказал(-а) "I thought I was done with having еще children at this point in my life. I'm willing to adopt your baby and raise it as my own that way; Ты can have your childhood back and be able to see the baby every day!” I сказал(-а) "it's nice of Ты to offer to do something for me like that but; I want to be a mom. I think it would be kind of awkward to hear the baby call me sister and for me to know that he или she is really my child!" Dad сказал(-а) "that's okay; I understand where you're coming from. It was just a thought that I had last night. If you're going to raise this baby though; Ты have to get your act together! Ты can't put yourself first anymore because Ты have a child that depends on you! Ты can't constantly be getting yourself into trouble! I just want to make it very clear that if Ты really want to do this then you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, not me! I'm not saying that I won't help Ты out every now and then but; it's your responsibility." I shook my head in agreement and he hugged me.

April 16, 2008,

Dad and I were cleaning up the кухня when we heard frantic knocking on the front door. He opened up the door and Kate ran inside. Dad looked around to see if my siblings were upstairs then, he asked "what's wrong?" She сказал(-а) as she sat down at the таблица "I don't know where Damien is! I think the reality of being a dad was getting to him and he ran away! He won't answer my phone calls but; he's been on his MySpace page!" Dad asked "when was the last time Ты saw him?" She сказал(-а) "the день Ты came over! He seemed fine after Ты left! When I woke up the Далее morning, all the money in my wallet was gone and my credit cards too!" Dad сказал(-а) "well; he must be planning be gone for a while if he took your credit cards!" She сказал(-а) "I'm not going to Отменить them because he might need them to buy food!" Dad asked "did Ты check the Последнее charges made on your account? We might be able to find out where he is!" Kate сказал(-а) "I already checked! Wherever he is; he doesn't want us to find him because he's being really smart about what he buys with my credit cards. What I really want him to do is rent a hotel room because then we can find him!" I interrupted "trust me; he wouldn't be that stupid! I'm a troublemaker too so I understand his brain!" Kate сказал(-а) "the police сказал(-а) that there's nothing they can do because Damien's 16 and if he doesn't want to come Главная they wouldn't be able to make him!" Dad сказал(-а) "keep an eye on your credit cards Kate because the only choice we have right now is to hope that he'll slip up или just decide to come home! For the time being, at least we know he has money on him."

1 million thoughts went through my mind as I stood there at the кухня counter while the two of them had their conversation. That idiot; I can't believe he would leave me like this and without even saying anything. He's the one who got me pregnant and he can't just bail on me like that. When he gets back I'm going to give him up to my mind! He can't take it back now because I'm already pregnant!

April 22, 2008,

Dad is having a man named Dr. Murray come over to the house today so I can have my first ultrasound. I would've wanted Damien here for this but; there's still no sign of him! He did finally call his mom though but only to say that he's not coming home! I don't like how this whole situation is starting to play out and I hope Damien comes to his senses because I don't want to do this on my own!

Dad and Dr. Murray shook hands and I lay down on the couch. Dr. Murray asked with a thick Jamaican accent "are Ты excited to be a mother?" I сказал(-а) "it hasn't really sunk in yet!" While he prepped me for the ultrasound, he and dad made small talk. Dad сказал(-а) "I heard that Ты specialize in cardiology." Dr. Murray сказал(-а) "primarily yes; this is just something I do on the side." He scanned my stomach and сказал(-а) "well; there's definitely only one baby in there; that's for sure! Dad took a sigh of relief and сказал(-а) "thank God it's only one!" I asked "how long will it be until I can find out if it's a boy или a girl?" He сказал(-а) "10 еще weeks until Ты can find out." Dad asked "don't Ты want it to be a surprise?" I сказал(-а) "I have to know as soon as possible! I can't wait nine months; did Ты forget who Ты are talking to?" Dad and I both started laughing and he сказал(-а) "oh yeah!"

Dr. Murray wrote on a notepad and сказал(-а) "I've done the math and it looks like your due дата should be November 18th of this year." As I got up off of the couch, I asked "will Ты come back in 10 weeks so I can find out the gender of the baby?" He smiled and сказал(-а) "of course I will; let me give Ты a prescription for your prenatal vitamins before I leave."

May 5, 2008,

I was in my room surfing the Internet and stared at Damien's MySpace page. I was hoping that he would magically start a conversation with me but; that didn't happen. Dad came into my room and sat down Далее to me. He сказал(-а) "I need to talk to Ты about something and I don't know how you're going to react.” I raised my eyebrows and asked "what?" He сказал(-а) "I'm going on tour again!" I сказал(-а) "I don't know why Ты think I would react badly to that; that's so awesome!" He sighed and сказал(-а) "that's not the part I'm worried about."

He hesitated over and over before I сказал(-а) "just tell me already!" He сказал(-а) "we're moving back to LA for now and eventually to Лондон where the concerts will be." I сказал(-а) "back to LA? Then to London? We can't move! What if Damien comes back?" Dad looked at me sympathetically and сказал(-а) "sweetheart; I think you're in denial about Damien! I don't think he's coming back." I looked at him as I shook my head and сказал(-а) "he's going to come back!" Dad grabbed my hand and сказал(-а) "I don't think he is AJ." I pulled away and сказал(-а) raising my voice "YOU'RE WRONG; YOU'LL SEE!"

Dad looked at the desperation in my eyes as I refuse to believe what he was telling me. I sat down on the постель, кровати and he sat down Далее to me. I сказал(-а) "HE DIDN'T DITCH ME; HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Dad hugged me and in that moment I realized that he was right. I continued to repeat "he didn't abandon me; DAMIEN'S COMING BACK" as I started to sob uncontrollably. Dad could hardly understand me as I repeated that phrase over and over again.

Dad passed me a tissue and I сказал(-а) crying to an uncontrollable point "I can't do this alone!" Dad smiled down at me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve and сказал(-а) "who сказал(-а) Ты would be alone? You've got me; don't you?" I smiled and сказал(-а) "I guess." He сказал(-а) "guessing has nothing to do with it! I'm here for Ты now and I'm never leaving! I'll never abandon Ты like Damien did! He's an immature jerk and needs to grow up! I think it's best that he stays wherever he is right now because if he comes back I'll kick his ass!!!"

I started laughing and dad asked "what's so funny?" I сказал(-а) "sorry; I can't help it! It's so weird hearing Ты swear; I'm not used to it!" He smiled as if he didn't even notice that he swore and сказал(-а) "I'm angry with Damien! Not for leaving but; for hurting you!" I couldn't care less about him being around because I don't think he'd be a good influence on Ты или the baby but seeing Ты so desperately want him here hurts me еще than Ты could imagine! Hurt me; I don't care! Hurt my baby and you'll regret it! I actually think that staying away is the only smart thing I've seen him do since I met him!" The two of us laughed and I сказал(-а) "I think you're right about that one" as he put his arm around me.

May 9, 2008,

After dad found a place for us to live in California, we moved into it yesterday. Dad reluctantly decided to invite the rest of the Jackson family over for dinner, of course not including my grandfather.

As I was tossing the empty cardboard boxes out of my new bedroom, dad came in and sat down on my bare mattress. He сказал(-а) "I think what we should do is tell Grace and your siblings that you're pregnant now. Then we'll tell everyone else at ужин tonight." I sighed and сказал(-а) "okay; I want to get this over with!"

The two of us walked downstairs and went to gather them. All of us sat down on the диван, мягкий уголок and dad сказал(-а) "AJ needs to tell Ты guys something." I сказал(-а) "I'm going to be having a baby." Prince and Paris smiled while Blanket looked at me with a confused look on his face. He asked" where did the baby from?" Dad and I both looked at each other while we searched for the right answer. Dad сказал(-а) "a special hug." I had to force myself not to laugh at dad's explanation and Blanket asked "who did AJ hug? Dad lightly thumped the back of my head to get me to stop laughing and сказал(-а) "a friend of hers." Paris сказал(-а) "that means I'm going to be an aunt and Ты guys are going to be uncles!" Blanket hugged me and asked "when is the baby going to come out of your tummy?" I сказал(-а) "not until November" as Grace pulled dad and I into the other room.

She shut the door behind her and asked "are Ты really pregnant?" I сказал(-а) "I wouldn't joke about something like this! Yes I really am pregnant!" She asked "Michael how long have Ты known?" He сказал(-а) "since the beginning of April." She asked "who's the father?" Dad сказал(-а) "his name is Damien but; I don't think you'll be seeing too much of him! He skipped town and hasn't contacted any of us since." Grace looked shocked as she tried to comprehend the idea of me being a mother. Dad сказал(-а) "trust me; AJ understands that it's not going to be easy! She wants to raise the baby on her own and Ты and I will be here to help her if she needs us." She asked "how do Ты think the rest of the family is going to react?" He сказал(-а) "all I can say right now is that I'm glad Joseph isn't coming because he would blame everything on me!"

After ужин had been served, dad, my uncles, aunts, my grandmother, and I all sat down in the living room. Uncle Jackie asked "how come Ты invited us over for ужин Michael?" Dad looked at me and asked "do Ты want me to tell everyone?" I сказал(-а) "yeah; they will take Ты better if it's coming from you!" Uncle Randy asked "what's going on?" Dad сказал(-а) "well; Alanna's pregnant. Before Ты ask, the baby's father is nowhere to be found and we don't expect to hear from him anytime soon!" I looked at my grandmother and asked "are Ты okay grandma?" She сказал(-а) "I didn't expect Ты to be a grandfather so soon Michael." Dad сказал(-а) "I know; I'm surprised by it too!" Aunt Janet asked "when the baby due?" I сказал(-а) "November 18 of this year."

I was surprised when they each congratulated me and сказал(-а) they would be there for support. After they left, dad сказал(-а) "that went better than I expected!" I сказал(-а) "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a screaming match!" Dad сказал(-а) "I thought for sure that one of them would accuse me of not being involved enough with Ты to stop Ты from getting pregnant!" I сказал(-а) "I don't think Ты would've been able to stop me either way. Ты know how I am; I do whatever I want to do in the moment!"

June 4, 2008,

Dad was in the middle of his first день of rehearsals for his "this is it" tour when I called him. He answered his phone and asked frantically like any concerned father would "what's wrong? Are Ты okay?" As he responded to me he сказал(-а) "don't feel bad! I'll be right there!" He hung up his cell phone and Kenny Ortega the director of the tour asked "is everything all right Michael?" Dad сказал(-а) "yeah; AJ has been having morning sickness and accidentally threw up all over her bathroom floor. Grace isn't Главная because she took the other children out shopping so; I'll be back in an час after I finish cleaning up the bathroom." Kenny сказал(-а) "okay; it's time for a break anyway." Dad yanked his car keys off a nearby таблица and walked out the door as he adjusted the Fedora hat on his head.

About 15 минуты later, I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as he called out "I'm coming AJ." He opened up my bedroom door and I was sitting on my bed. He walked up to my bathroom and looked down at the ground. He looked back up at me as I was about to say something but; I just started crying. He looked at me sympathetically and asked as he sat down on the постель, кровати "what's wrong?" I сказал(-а) "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was so close but –" he сказал(-а) "Alanna; it's okay! It's еще normal than Ты think it is." I сказал(-а) "I know that you're not mad at me." He raised his eyebrows and asked "then why are Ты crying?" I сказал(-а) "I honestly don't know! I've literally been crying like this on and off since they all went shopping! I was watching TV when a commercial break started and I burst out crying because I didn't want to watch commercials! How stupid is that? I can't believe I was crying over freaking commercials!"

Dad chuckled as he grabbed a roll of paper towels from the cabinet under my bathroom sink. He сказал(-а) "it must be the mood swings!" I asked confused "mood swings; really?" He сказал(-а) as he cleaned up the floor "yes; that's part of being pregnant! You're supposed to have mood swings!" I asked "how many еще times am I going to cry like this?" He сказал(-а) as he shut off the bathroom light "the entire pregnancy; every now and then probably!" I сказал(-а) with tears flowing from my eyes "I'm going to be like this until November! I don't cry dad! This isn't who I am! I think I've only cried five times since I was 10!" He couldn't help but laugh at how overdramatic I was being and I сказал(-а) as I cried into a tissue "it's not funny dad!"

He sat down Далее to me on my постель, кровати and сказал(-а) still trying to hide his laughter "I'm sorry; I've never seen Ты like this and from my point of view it is really funny!" I lay down on my постель, кровати and propped myself up with pillows. I looked at the TV and screamed as I sobbed uncontrollably "not еще commercials! Why do they always have to have commercials at the best part of the show?" He chuckled into his arm and asked "why don't Ты just watch a movie that way there isn't any commercials?" I сказал(-а) in between sobs "because this is a good Показать and that skinny little dog is going to get adopted and, and –!" Dad got up and сказал(-а) "I think that's my cue to leave now!" He laughed as he got up from my постель, кровати and сказал(-а) "have fun crying your eyes out!" I playfully threw a throw подушка at his head as he shut my bedroom door.

June 23, 2008,

It was the middle of the night when I walked down to dad's bedroom. He was fast asleep but; I barely tapped him and he jumped up. He frantically asked "did your water break?" I rolled my eyes and сказал(-а) "daddy I've only been pregnant for 2 1/2 months! It's nowhere near time for that yet!" He rubbed his eyes and asked "what's the matter?" I сказал(-а) "I'm hungry!" He сказал(-а) "then go downstairs and get something to eat." I сказал(-а) "I don't want anything down there!" He yawned and asked "then what do Ты want?" I сказал(-а) "KFC" and he looked at his alarm clock. He сказал(-а) "it's two in the morning and Ты want me to get Ты Kentucky fried chicken." I pouted "please; that's what the baby wants!" He smiled and сказал(-а) "I can't say no to you." I сказал(-а) "thank Ты daddy!" He сказал(-а) as he hugged me "yeah, yeah, yeah!"

25 минуты later, he walked into my room carrying a big bag of Еда and sat down on my bed." As he took container after container out of the bag, I asked "why did Ты get so much?" He сказал(-а) "well; there's no way I'm going to be able to fall right back asleep now so, I might as well eat with you!" I сказал(-а) as I began to fill my plate with Еда "sorry for waking Ты up in the middle of the night to go get me KFC dad." He сказал(-а) "that's alright; I know Ты can't help it! If Damien was here that's what he'd be doing anyway and I told Ты that Ты weren't going to do this whole pregnancy thing alone! If that means I have to make late-night runs to get Ты whenever you're craving then so be it!" I hugged him as I stuffed my face and he laughed. This was the first of many craving trips I would send him on during these nine months!

July 11, 2008,

I came downstairs and сказал(-а) "come on Dr. Murray hurry up and get here already! I want to know now!" Dad сказал(-а) down Далее to me on the диван, мягкий уголок and asked as he laughed at my apparent excitement "will Ты chill out? You're going to make yourself go into early labor!" I сказал(-а) "I can't; I need to know now if I'm having a boy или a girl!"

I heard the front door open and pretty much dragged Dr. Murray into the living room. Dad сказал(-а) as Dr. Murray sat down to start prepping "I have something I’d like to ask Ты Dr. Murray." He responded "yes?" Dad сказал(-а) "well; I've started rehearsing for my 'this is it’ tour and I'd like to hire Ты as my permanent physician from this point on to the end of the tour. My концерт promoters have agreed to pay Ты six figures a year!" Dr. Murray was taken aback at the amount and сказал(-а) "of course; anything for Ты Michael!" Dad сказал(-а) "great; you'll start Далее week and accompany me to each of my rehearsals at the Staples Center."

I cleared my throat to break their conversation and Dr. Murray сказал(-а) "oh yeah; I forgot why I came here in the first place!" He started scanning my stomach and сказал(-а) "alright; let's see what we've got here. As he moved the computer мышь across the screen dad сказал(-а) with a smile on his face "oh; I think I can tell what it is already!" I сказал(-а) "be quiet you; don't ruin this moment!" Dad сказал(-а) "I wasn't going to!" I сказал(-а) "shhhh" as Dr. Murray zoomed in. Dr. Murray сказал(-а) "okay; it looks like it's a baby…… Boy!"

I jumped up and pointed my finger at dad. I сказал(-а) "I knew it was a boy! I told Ты so!" Dad сказал(-а) "I was for sure it would be a girl!" Dr. Murray сказал(-а) as he packed up his stuff "now Ты can start decorating and picking out names!" I сказал(-а) "it didn't really matter to me whether it was a boy или girl! I was dying to know just so I could start picking out names!" Dad rolled his eyes and сказал(-а) "oh boy; this is going to be fun!" He walked Conrad Murray to the door and сказал(-а) "meet us at the Staples Center at 9 o'clock on Tuesday! Welcome to team Jackson!" Dr. Murray thanked dad as he shut the door behind him.

July 6, 2008,

My stomach has really started to Показать but; it's pretty easy to hide it under the baggy clothes I like to wear. Still no sign of Damien and he's really starting to make me mad I wish he would at least respond to my phone calls. He talks to his mom all the time but; won't tell her where he is.

There was a knock at the front door and I got off the диван, мягкий уголок to answer it. I was surprised to see Kate Damien's mother standing there. I hugged her and called for my dad to come downstairs. He walked up to her and gave her a hug before he asked "what brings Ты here?" She сказал(-а) "just because Damien doesn't want to be a dad doesn't mean I can't be a grandma! I found a cheap flight here from Las Vegas and was wondering if I could stay with Ты guys for about a week?" Dad сказал(-а) "of course Ты can! We have lots to fill Ты in on!"

Dad brought snacks to the coffee таблица in the living room and the three of us sat down to talk." Kate looked at my stomach and сказал(-а) "awww you're getting a baby bump!" I сказал(-а) "yeah I know; it's weird for me!" Dad and Kate both сказал(-а) "it's weird for us too!" I сказал(-а) as I looked at her "dad and I found out whether it's a boy или a girl; did Ты want to know?" She сказал(-а) "well; obviously!" Dad сказал(-а) "you're going to have a grandson." I smiled as her face lit up and I asked "what do Ты want the baby to call you? Dad already decided he wants to be called Poppa." She сказал(-а) "I like just the traditional grandma." Dad сказал(-а) "being called grandpa would make me feel old! That's why I picked Poppa!" She chuckled and сказал(-а) "you look like еще of a Poppa than Ты would as grandpa!" I adjusted myself on the диван, мягкий уголок and сказал(-а) "the baby's kicking." Kate placed her hand on my stomach and a tear rolled down her face. I hugged her and asked "what's wrong?" She composed herself and сказал(-а) "I want Ты to know that I don't agree with the way Damien's Актёрское искусство right now. I tried to convince him that he needs to come Главная and help Ты but; he just hangs up on me! I hope you'll allow me to be an active part of the baby's life!" I сказал(-а) baffled that she wouldn't think she would be able to be a part of her grandson's life "of course Ты can! Ты don't ever have to worry about that! I'll never stop Ты from seeing him! I can definitely use the help after the baby is born!" She took a sigh of relief and сказал(-а) "I'm sorry that my son is so immature!" Dad сказал(-а) "you don't have to feel bad about that because it's not your fault! Ты did your best and single mom and Damien didn't really have his father around as a good role model. Alanna asks me for help if she needs something; even if it's something crazy!" Kate laughed and asked "what crazy things has she had Ты do?" Dad and I laughed and he сказал(-а) "she's had me go to just about every fast Еда restaurant in Los Angeles! Most of the time she wakes me up at 1 AM to go get the food. That isn't the easiest thing to do when you're Michael Jackson!" I laughed and сказал(-а) "Kate; Ты should of seen the look on his face when I asked him to rub my feet yesterday!" Dad сказал(-а) "don't get too used to it because once that baby's born I'm done with that!" I laughed and said" I might as well take advantage of Ты while I can! I would be making Damien did the same thing if he were here!" Kate сказал(-а) "well; Ты can ask me for help while I'm here so your dad can have a break!" Dad hugged her and сказал(-а) "finally; I won't Показать up to tour rehearsals tired, at least for a week." She asked eagerly "when is my grandson due?" Dad сказал(-а) "November 18." She сказал(-а) "I'm going to take off a few days before and after the baby is born so I can be here for the birth and to help out." I сказал(-а) "the three of us should go shopping and look at baby names together this week!" She clapped her hands with joy and сказал(-а) "it's been a while since I've been able to buy baby things; we're going to have so much fun this week!"

I'm glad that Kate is going to be supportive even though Damien isn't! That takes a lot of the weight off of dad's shoulders and I know that I will be able to ask her for Совет about things that dad wouldn't know about! I'm still really mad at Damien though because the baby isn't even born yet and he is already being selfish!

July 9, 2008,

Kate, dad, and I was sitting in the living room while Grace had taken my siblings to the movies. I opened up my laptop and сказал(-а) "we should look at baby names!" Dad opened up your computer and went on to a pregnancy website as well. Kate sat down Далее to me so she could see the names as I scrolled through a Список of thousands. She pointed at one and I shook my head in disagreement. Dad сказал(-а) "you could name the baby –" and I interrupted by saying "I'm not naming him Prince Michael the third dad!" Kate сказал(-а) "please don't; it would be too confusing!" I сказал(-а) "you don't have to worry about me choosing Prince because I narrowed my choices down to two names. I'll choose one of them as his first name and the other one as his middle name. The two of Ты can help me figure out which is which but; don't try to change my mind because I'm dead set on these names!" Kate asked "what names did Ты pick?" I сказал(-а) "I picked out Carter and Shawn." Dad сказал(-а) "really? Ты should pick a strong majestic African name! I like Rafiq!"

Kate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I asked "what the heck kind of name is that?" Kate сказал(-а) "that sounds like a character in the lion King!" I сказал(-а) "he's not going to be able to spell that when he gets older! I don't want anything too weird или something with like 20 letters in it!" Dad started laughing and Kate сказал(-а) "I personally like Shawn better as the first name but; it's up to Ты AJ!" Dad сказал(-а) "I like Carter better!" I сказал(-а) "you guys don't make this any easier on me! Carter Shawn, или Shawn Carter? What one do I like better?" I wrote both options down on a piece of paper and asked "which one looks better to Ты guys. Kate grabbed the piece of paper from me and dad looked at it from over her shoulder. They both сказал(-а) in unison "Carter Shawn! Yeah; definitely Carter Shawn!" I сказал(-а) "good because that looks better to me too!" Dad kissed my stomach and сказал(-а) "hi little Carter Shawn! I can finally stop calling Ты baby или it!"

July 11, 2008,

Today is Kate's last stay here because she has to go back to work in two days. She was sitting in the living room with the family and сказал(-а) "there; I bought my tickets for November so; I can be here a few days before Carter is born and stay here a few days after his birth." I сказал(-а) "since today is your last день here; you, dad, and I should go to Дети R us!" Kate сказал(-а) as I put on my feathered mask" I'm so excited!" Dad сказал(-а) "I'm just letting Ты know beforehand that the paparazzi can be a little annoying and whatever Ты do don't respond to their questions! As far as I'm concerned; they can think that I'm shopping for someone else's baby! Word can't get out yet that AJ's pregnant because it will be complete disaster!" Kate nodded her head and сказал(-а) "don't worry; I won't say anything!"

As we got into dad's Rolls-Royce and he put the key in the ignition, Kate сказал(-а) "this car is amazing!" Dad сказал(-а) "thanks; it was definitely well worth the money I paid for it!" Kate сказал(-а) "I didn't know that Ты can drive Michael!" He сказал(-а) "yeah I do drive myself places but; it's not very often when I'm able to!" I сказал(-а) "next year; Ты have to teach me how to drive dad because I'll be old enough to get my drivers permit!" He сказал(-а) "yeah; don't remind me!"

When we got to the store, word had gotten out that we had moved back to Los Angeles and the paparazzi had crowded the entrance. We got out of the car and shoved our way through. Once the manager realized who my dad was, he got everyone else to leave the store so none of us would have Фаны coming up and interrupting us!

As they walked down the aisles, Kate asked "is it this crazy every time Ты guys go out?" I сказал(-а) "every single time! That's why us kids wear masks in public that way; when were not with dad we don't have to wear them and we can live as normal a life as possible." She сказал(-а) "I never looked at it that way; that's a really smart idea!" Dad сказал(-а) "there's always a method to my madness that people don't understand! The paparazzi just jump to conclusions and say whatever they want about me. Most of the time, what they say is just downright mean; especially when they say things like wacko Jacko! или they call the children socially deprived because of my life!" Kate сказал(-а) "well; I don't believe any of that crap!"

I looked at one of the shelves and сказал(-а) "there's baby wipe warming machines; really?" Kate chuckled as she put it in the тележка, корзина and сказал(-а) "well yeah; Ты don't want the baby to freeze!" Dad laughed and сказал(-а) "that brings back memories from when Ты were little AJ!" I picked out a furniture set and then we went over to pick out a car seat. I stood there with Kate and dad and we must've looked at 50 different styles. I сказал(-а) "I didn't know that picking out a car сиденье, место, сиденья would be this hard; each one is adorable!" Dad сказал(-а) "there's a red and black one over there inside the matching stroller!" The секунда I saw it I сказал(-а) "this is the one!"

After we gave the store the shipping address for all the big items, we went outside into the ambush of paparazzi waiting for us. They shouted "how's your health Michael? When did Ты Переместить back to LA? Will your brother's be part of the new tour? Who are Ты shopping for? Who is this woman? Is she your new wife? Is she your girlfriend? Are Ты having another child Michael?"

Dad gently guided me into the back сиденье, место, сиденья while Kate sat in the passenger seat. We quickly sped off and Kate сказал(-а) "Michael; I can't believe they just assume that I'm either your girlfriend или your wife!" Dad laughed and сказал(-а) "anytime I go out in public with a female they ask that! It could be a 90-year-old woman for God's sake and I'll see the Название of a magazine say 'wacko Jacko is getting married to the wrinkly woman of his dreams!" We all burst out laughing and I сказал(-а) "we all just learn to laugh at it because we can't really do much about it!" She сказал(-а) "I've had so much fun with Ты guys! It sucks that I have to leave tomorrow and at 9 AM!" Dad сказал(-а) "I don't want Ты to leave either because we all had fun with you! Most of all though; it means that I'm going to have to get up in the middle of the night again!" I сказал(-а) "I'm going to miss the weird conversations Ты and I had at midnight while we ate the fast Еда Ты picked up!" Kate сказал(-а) "don't forget that I'll be back when you're still pregnant, a couple of days before Ты have Carter so it isn't the last fast Еда conversation the two of us have!" I hugged her and we drove back to the house.

October 2, 2008

Dad came into my room and sat down Далее to me. He сказал(-а) "only one еще месяц left until little Carter Shawn it here!" I сказал(-а) "I'm so done being pregnant; everything hurts!" He сказал(-а) "I wish we could find somebody to paint a mural to go along with the nursery side of your bedroom!" I сказал(-а) as I smiled "I think I know a guy!" He сказал(-а) "you should call him because we have to paint the nursery today!"

3 hours later there was a knock at the front door and I heard a whole bunch of feet shuffle up the stairs. Dad opened my bedroom door and сказал(-а) "AJ; your Друзья are here!" Colton, Sketch, and Brandon stood in front of me and we gave each other fist bumps. I asked "dad is it okay to use spray paint on the walls?" Dad сказал(-а) "yeah but; Ты can't be around it until the room airs out from the smell because Ты are pregnant." I сказал(-а) okay; these are my Друзья that I was telling Ты about, Brandon Colton, and Sketch." Dad looked at me puzzled as we left the room and asked "why do they call him Sketch?" I put my hand on his shoulder and сказал(-а) "you'll see!"

Over five hours later, the guys came downstairs and сказал(-а) "it doesn't smell like spray paint anymore and we're done the mural so; Ты can check it out!" We all went back upstairs and I slowly turned the doorknob to my room. Dad and I stood there staring at the one Стена in my bedroom with giant graffiti letters that say 'Carter ‘in all different shades of blue. Dad сказал(-а) "this is amazing! Ты guys are really talented artists! Now I can see why they call Ты Sketch!" Brandon smiled and сказал(-а) as he fist bumped me "no problem; it's the least we could do! We're really sorry that Damien is being such a jerk! Every time he gets on his MySpace page, we tell him that he needs to get his butt here to LA and be with you! Oh and by the way; thanks for paying for our flight down here Mr. Jackson!" Dad сказал(-а) "of course and now that I see that Ты guys are nothing like Damien is, Ты can hang out with AJ еще often! Probably not a lot now because her first priority is being a mother but; every now and then is fine!"

November 16, 2008,

I was sitting on the диван, мягкий уголок when the doorbell rang. I yelled "dad; I think Kate is here!" He opened the door and сказал(-а) "it's so nice to see Ты again!" She ran into the living room to see me and сказал(-а) "hi AJ!" I сказал(-а) "hi; I would get up to hug Ты but; I'm stuck!" All three of us started laughing and Kate sat down so I could hug her. She сказал(-а) "you look exhausted!" I rubbed my eyes and сказал(-а) "I am; I just want him out now!" Dad сказал(-а) "I don't think you'll be saying that when he is ready to come out!" Kate chuckled and asked "did Ты set up all the nursery stuff we bought in your bedroom?" Dad сказал(-а) "I'm sure you've heard from the guys that Damien and AJ hang out with that they painted the mural on the bedroom wall." Kate сказал(-а) "they still haven't stopped talking about it! They were like 'dude; Michael Jackson's house is huge! We've never legally spray-painted anything before! He paid us $500 each for that one mural! He seems like such an awesome dad; AJ is so lucky!'" Dad сказал(-а) "we wanted to wait until Ты came to set up the furniture because Ты helped us pick everything out." She сказал(-а) "well; come on! I want to go see the mural too!" I asked "okay but; one of Ты needs to help me up because I wasn't exaggerating when I сказал(-а) I was stuck!" The two of them laughed as they helped a very pregnant me off of the couch.

The three of us made our way upstairs as I grabbed onto dad for support. I opened my bedroom door and Kate was shocked by the state of my room. She сказал(-а) "the mural looks amazing but; there are clothes everywhere! Not to mention all the video games cases all over the floor!" Dad сказал(-а) "I was planning on cleaning up in here a few hours before AJ comes back from the hospital." She сказал(-а) "that's fine; I'll clean it! Just promise me that Ты won't let your room get like this again after the baby is born!" Dad сказал(-а) "I'll make sure that she doesn't let it get like this again because I won't stand for it with a baby around!" She took a sigh of relief and сказал(-а) "that's good!"

As she picked up things in my room she noticed the Стена opposite of the one with the mural on it. Almost 100 posters of Jesse McCartney were taped up there and dad сказал(-а) "oh; I see you've discovered Alanna's secret infatuation with J – Mac!" I сказал(-а) "dad; I can call him that but; it's creepy when Ты do!" By the way Kate; I don't have an obsession with Jesse McCartney; no matter what my dad says!" She сказал(-а) as she pointed at the Стена "you can't tell me that Ты don't have an obsession with him with a Стена like this! You're lucky that Damien can't see this because he would probably rip them all down! He hates the boy band type singers! He ripped all of his sisters Jonas Brothers posters down because I think he's jealous that they have girls falling all over them!" Dad chuckled and сказал(-а) "alright; enough about Jesse McCartney! We've got some decorating to do!"

November 18, 2008,

We were all sitting at the кухня таблица when I got up and dad asked nervously "where are Ты going?" I сказал(-а) "calm down dad! I'm just going to the bathroom! When the baby is coming; you'll be the first to know!" Kate rolled her eyes and сказал(-а) "oh my gosh Michael; AJ and I weren't nervous at all but; you're making us nervous! The last thing we need it for AJ to be nervous!"

I whispered from down the hall "Kate; come here!" She walked over secretively and saw that I was standing in a bloody puddle. She сказал(-а) "your dad's going to freak out!" She walked out back into the кухня and dad asked "where's AJ?" She calmly responded "her water just broke." Dad stared at her in shock for a few секунды and сказал(-а) "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GO NOW!!!" Kate сказал(-а) "if you're like this Michael; Ты going to stress her out! Ты need to stay calm!" He took a deep breath and сказал(-а) "you're right! We really do need to leave though!" I сказал(-а) "can we talk about this another time!"

Dad and Kate walked me out to the car and helped me into the back seat. Kate got into the driver’s сиденье, место, сиденья and started the car as dad sat down Далее to me. Dad сказал(-а) "it takes 15 минуты to get to the hospital! Are Ты in any pain yet?" I сказал(-а) "a little bit so far." He held out his hand and I сказал(-а) "no; I don't have to hold your hand; it doesn't hurt that bad!" Dad сказал(-а) "trust me; you're going to want to hold my hand!" I сказал(-а) "I'm fine dad!"

We pulled up in front of the hospital and dad was surprised with how calm I was. We got out of the car and walked inside. Kate walked up to the front стол письменный, стол and сказал(-а) "we have someone whose water just broke!" The staff brought a wheelchair out to me and we slowly started to go down to our hospital room all the way at the end of the long hall. When we were halfway there dad and Kate noticed the spontaneous change in me. Dad asked "are Ты okay Alanna?" I put my hand over my forehead and сказал(-а) "I think I'm feeling it now!" Kate сказал(-а) "we're almost there; just a few feet away." I can say now that that walk down the hall seemed like it took hours!

I slowly moved from the wheelchair I was in and into the hospital bed. Dad asked "is the doctor coming?" Kate сказал(-а) "yeah; I can hear footsteps." A female doctor came into the room and сказал(-а) "I've heard that we have a baby on the way in here." Dad shook hands with her and сказал(-а) "nice to meet Ты Dr. Benson" as he read her name tag. She looked at me and asked "how are Ты feeling?" I сказал(-а) "it's slowly getting еще intense by the minute. It's not excruciating yet though!" She сказал(-а) "that's good! Let's see if you're really ready to have this baby!"

After examining me, she сказал(-а) "you're not ready yet! I'll be back in about 15 минуты to check again." She left the room and I asked as I looked up at Kate who was sitting beside my hospital постель, кровати "how long is it going to be before I can start pushing?" She сказал(-а) "who knows; it could be минуты или it could be hours." I сказал(-а) "hours!" Dad kissed my forehead and he could tell that the pain was getting increasingly worse but; I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to Показать my discomfort easily!

15 минуты later, Dr. Benson came back into the room and сказал(-а) "it seems to me like you're ready now!" I сказал(-а) "thank God" and dad сказал(-а) "the pushing is the painful part!" At this point, I was already sweating and trying my best to hide my tears. I asked "you mean to tell me that it's going to be еще painful than it already is right now?" Kate сказал(-а) "so much worse! Like the worst pressure you've ever felt in your life!" Dr. Benson asked "would Ты like to have the epidural или natural childbirth?" I asked confused "what's an epidural?" She responded "it's a needle full of medicine that numbs everything so Ты can't feel any pain." I сказал(-а) "no I don't need that; I'm doing it naturally!" Dad сказал(-а) "AJ; I suggest Ты use the epidural; I know how Ты are and Ты don't want to use it because Ты want to be tough!" Kate сказал(-а) "I've done it once naturally and once with the epidural and I agree with your dad completely! I really think Ты need to just go along with what we are suggesting! Ты have to remember that your only 14 and I'm telling Ты that Ты are going to be in some serious pain if Ты don't choose to go with the epidural; I'm just letting Ты know!" I сказал(-а) as I looked up at Dr. Benson "no; I want to do this naturally." She asked "are Ты 100% sure because once Ты start pushing there is no changing your mind?" I сказал(-а) "yeah; I'm sure!" Dad and Kate looked at each other worried and dad sat in the chair Далее to her.

A few минуты later, Dr. Benson сказал(-а) "okay; push as hard as Ты possibly can for as long as Ты can!" What I felt with that very first push I couldn't possibly explain to you; I guess I guess I could compare it to someone slowly ripping the skin off your body! Not to mention the tremendous pressure that Kate had warned me about. Dr. Benson сказал(-а) "okay push again!" I started crying as I attempted again and the Далее thing I knew dad had grabbed my hand! I сказал(-а) "I told Ты I didn't need to hold your hand dad!" He сказал(-а) "stop being so stubborn and push AJ!"

While I pushed for the third time I must've practically crushed dad's hand with how hard I was holding it! By the fourth time, I сказал(-а) "I WANT HIM OUT NOW! I'm going to kill Damien for putting me through this!" Dr. Benson сказал(-а) "I can see a head! It should only take about one еще BIG push to get him out! Kate switched places with dad so he could help Dr. Benson guide the baby out and suddenly I finally felt the relief I had been searching for!

секунды later, I heard my son cry for the first time and dad came over to me with tears in his eyes. He kissed the вверх of my head and сказал(-а) "you did it; he's here!" I started crying uncontrollably and сказал(-а) "I want to see Carter!" Kate walked over to where the nurses were evaluating him and сказал(-а) "he's beautiful AJ!” One of the nurses shouted "AJ; he weighs 7 pounds exactly." Dad went over to look at his grandson and I asked "will Ты bring him over here to me now?"

Dad walked over to me with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms and сказал(-а) "here's Carter; don't forget to support his head!" That was the first time I saw my son and he was even cuter than I had imagined. Kate stroked his head while he was still in my arms and I passed him to her and she сказал(-а) "hi Carter; I'm your grandma!" I сказал(-а) while growing impatient "I want him back now!" Dr. Benson сказал(-а) "he seems pretty healthy so; instead of going for further evaluation, Ты can keep him in here with Ты guys! A nurse will come in and help Ты finalize his birth certificate in about two hours!" Dad сказал(-а) "thank Ты for everything Dr. Benson!" She сказал(-а) "no problem; this is why I Любовь my job!"

I passed Carter to dad and looked out the window that was Далее to me. I looked down at the parking lot and сказал(-а) "I think Ты guys are going to want to see what I can see from over here!" Kate and dad got up and looked out the window. Dad asked "is that Damien? It is!" Kate сказал(-а) "he must've used my credit card to buy a plane ticket out here!” I bit my lip angrily and сказал(-а) "now after all this time he shows up!" Dad сказал(-а) as he grinded his teeth "I'm sorry about this Kate but; I'm about to go down there into the parking lot and kick your son's ass!!!" She сказал(-а) "go right ahead! I think I might Присоединиться you! I'm seething with anger right now!" I сказал(-а) "whatever Ты do don't let him come up here because I'll bash his head in! Yes I'm aware that I just had a baby but; at this point I don't care how exhausted I am he deserves it!" Dad сказал(-а) as he ran out of the room with Kate "don't worry; he won't want to after I'm done with him!” Forgetting that he had Carter in his arms, he quickly ran back into the room and passed him back to me!

As I saw the two of them storm to where Damien was; I decided to open the window so I could hear what was going on. Dad looked at Damien and asked "what do Ты think you're doing here?" Damien сказал(-а) "I'm here to see my son!" Kate сказал(-а) "you're about nine months too late for that!" Damien сказал(-а) "I'm going to see my son!" Dad pushed Damien seeming to want to instigate a fight and сказал(-а) "no you're not!" Damien asked "you want to go? I'm not scared of Ты Michael!" I сказал(-а) under my breath "well; Ты should be!"

The two of them put their fists up and started to перфоратор, удар, пунш the air around the others face!" Dad сказал(-а) "come on and перфоратор, удар, пунш me then!!!" Damien swung his fist in the air but missed! I couldn't help but laugh and dad сказал(-а) "let me Показать Ты how it's done jerk face!" I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could hear dad's fist make contact with Damien's face. Damien fell to the ground and Kate сказал(-а) "don't come back here! If Ты think it's cool to run off like that then don't bother coming back to the house when Ты go back to Vegas either! I'm canceling my credit cards and Ты can have fun trying to make it on your own in the real world! Don't come crawling back to me when Ты can't do it anymore! Until Ты get your priorities straight and apologize to AJ; who I'd like to remind Ты is the mother of your son… Just don't come back until Ты grow a pair and own up to the stupid choices Ты have made!" Damien stumbled off looking like he had sprained his ankle when he fell to the ground!

Dad and Kate came back upstairs to our room and I сказал(-а) "wow Kate; I didn't know that Ты had that you!" Dad asked "was it just me или did Ты smell alcohol on Damien's breath too?" She сказал(-а) "I could too; I'm used to it though! He's been drinking since last year!" I shook my head in disbelief and dad smiled as he сказал(-а) "I can't believe I gave him a black eye! I don't think he will come back unless he grows up!" I сказал(-а) "if it doesn't bother Ты Kate; I'd prefer to have Carter's last name be Jackson instead of Hayes because I don't think Damien deserves the right to have the same last name as his son! If he can prove to me that he does then I will have it legally changed!" She сказал(-а) "of course and I agree with you." I сказал(-а) "I can't wait to bring my little Carter Shawn Jackson Главная tomorrow so he can me everyone!"

November 19, 2008,

We were just arriving back to the house after leaving the hospital when I could see Blanket running excitedly down the driveway. I opened the car door and he сказал(-а) "I want to see Carter!" I сказал(-а) while whispering "you can see him when we get inside but; Ты have to calm down and be quiet because he’s sleeping!" Dad and Kate walked inside behind me while I carried Carter in his car seat.

As I picked Carter up out of his car сиденье, место, сиденья he started to cry. I was freaked out by this because I don't really know how to figure out what he needs yet. Dad came over and took him from me. I сказал(-а) "I don't know what he needs!" Dad asked as his eyes widened "well; are Ты ready to learn how to change a diaper?" I сказал(-а) "I might as well learn how to now!" Dad сказал(-а) "I'll talk Ты through it!"

Kate put a blanket down on the диван, мягкий уголок and I laid Carter on it. Dad сказал(-а) "you don't have to clean him up with the wipes for 15 минуты AJ; oh my gosh!" I сказал(-а) "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right dad! Would Ты rather I not be so meticulous about it?" He сказал(-а) "I like that Ты want to be thorough but; you've got to go a little bit faster или he might –! I asked "he might what?" Dad and Kate looked down and сказал(-а) "do that!" I looked to see what they were talking about and jumped up. I сказал(-а) "ewww Ты didn't tell me that he would pee on me!" Dad сказал(-а) while laughing along with Kate "we tried to but Ты wouldn't listen!" I shouted all the way from the bathroom where I made an attempt to save my рубашка "that's so disgusting; it's not funny Ты guys!" Kate сказал(-а) "just so Ты know; everything about Дети and toddlers is disgusting; something is always going everywhere или all over you… Welcome to motherhood AJ!" Dad сказал(-а) "he only got a little bit on you! Just wait till it's 2 in the morning one of these times and Ты have to take a душ because of that!"

(awww i'm sad, the chapter after this one is the last one with Michael alive)