Motivational Posters

Yo momma so fat, scientists have declared her жопа, попка to be the 10th planet.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Your momma's so poor she can't even pay attention!

Your mamma is so fat she's on both sides of the family.

Your mamma is so fat when we were having sex I rolled over 9 times and I was still on the BITCH!!!!!

Yo momma so ugly your Grandma threw her on the улица, уличный and was charged for littering.

Yo momma so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into тако колокол, колокольчик, белл and everyone ran for the border.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells...

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

After any salary raise, Ты will have less money at the end of the месяц than Ты did before.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Don't be irreplaceable, if Ты can't be replaced, Ты can't be promoted.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to Ты the rest of the day.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Following the...

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If Ты smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every минута of it.

If ignorance is bliss, Ты must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. Ты Will Be Assimilated.

Born free... taxed to death.

The еще people I meet, the еще I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

There's...

Some great tips on Любовь and relationships by kids between the age of 5 and 10...

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WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me awife." (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a секунда date." (Mike, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO Kiss SOMEONE?

"You should never Kiss a girl unless Ты have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have Видео of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

CONCERNING WHY Любовь HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR...