Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"? If the police come, they will arrest all of you for leaving this girl to die while you were downstairs getting into the groove. – Dean Munsch ; Just like Footloose. – Kappa student in 1995

Wait why are you holding a fund-raiser, though? - Jennifer; To show my voters that I'm a serious candidate and it isn't just a popularity contest. – Zayday ; But all your voters are in this room. You could have just told us. – Jennifer

See, I did some research down at the library When? Last night. I didn't see you there. Which library? – Both ; Baker Street. – Pete ; North Jackson. – Denise ; Oh. Okay.Yeah. – Both

I mean, why else did we all join a sorority in the first place? – Chanel ; My sense of personal identity is completely external. If I didn't have Kappa to define me, I really don't have much to offer. – Chanel #3 ; I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone. But with Kappa as my calling card, everyone seems to overlook that. – Chanel #5

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders. – Chanel ; So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot? You're welcome. - Frat Dudes

Miss, you're at an awesome scary haunted house. This is not an emergency, okay? You should go back in and enjoy the awesome haunted house and know that non-emergency calls to 911 waste hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars every year. – 911 Operator ; You actually make a real good point about the taxpayers wasting they dollar, and when I become the president, I'll really try to fix that. - Zayday