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posted by Canada24
SCENE 1:
Michael: (speaking to his new group) We're all professionals, we all know the score.. We run in, do what we gotta do. I need heavy pressure on the workers and security. Citizens, are to be handled calmly.
Luster: Now.. We WERE gonna try something еще complicated. But considering the place of business, something еще simple may be better.
Micheal: Exactly.. We're in and out in 90 секунды guy.. So make it count.
DRIVING TO THE HEIST:
Micheal: Alight. We're about to be accomplishes in a major crime. I need to know I can depend on each one of you. So let's give some backgrounds. Me first. I'm Michael. And I've been doing this for my whole life. So I should hopefully be a good boss.
Franklin: I'm Franklin. I'm new to this type of shit. Bu-
Michael: (rudely) Ya, ya. Great.. Next?
Gustavo: (speaks but nobody understands him).
Micheal: Alright than. (whispers Franklin to stop the van, Franklin dose so)
Micheal: (turns to Gustavo) Out! Get out!
Gustavo: What?
Micheal: I сказал(-а) GET OUT!
Gustavo: (nervously leaving van) I think Ты tripping, yo. (finally gets out, but unfortantly for him they leave him stranded there and keep driving).
LATER:
Micheal: This is your moment people! Please don't make us waste the hard work your plastic sergins spent on your parthic faces by giving us a reason to SMASH EM IN!.. On the floor, all of you!
(Micheal and the crew start smashing the diamond glasses, and stealing what's inside)
Hacker: Time is running out boys!
Micheal: ya, ya. Tell me this when I actually CARE what your saying. (they run out once all the dimonds are stolen! Where Micheal saves Franklin from a suspicious security guard) "Forget a thousand things everyday, why not make sure this is one of them."


SCENE 2:
Trevor: Give me some of that!
Redneck: What?
Trevor: Come on! My throats as sore as a mother fucker! And I want some of that beer!
Redneck: No way creep!
Trevor: WHAT DID Ты FUCKIN SAY!
Redneck: *points gun* Ya, Ты heard me! I called Ты a creepy mother fucker!
Trevor: *headbutts him and steals gun* WE WERE SAYING! *the rednecks start trying to calm him down*
Trevor: I'LL KILL EVERYONE OF YO-... Wait.. Sorry about that *lowering gun* It's just. It's this fucked Canadian lifestyle of mine, always has me made at 'everything'. Please forgive me..
Redneck: It's okay.. But your still creepy
Trevor: *angrily* FUCK YOUUUUU! *shoots the guy, and the game gose into rampage mode*.


SCENE 3:
Trevor: Give me some of that!
Franklin: No man! We're leaving.
Trevor: I want a taste of the other side of the box.
Dealer: No. Go away.
Trevor; *flips the finger to the dealer* FUCK Ты MOTHERFUCKER *angrily stomps off*
*silence*
Trevor: ... *calmly comes back* I'm sorry, that was uncalled for of me. I just get so angry sometimes.
Dealer: ... Your still not getting any.
Trevor: FUCK Ты I'M NOT! *fights him for it, revealing its not what it's suppose to be*


SCENE 4:
Jimmy: (trying to make YouTube series): Yo, this J doog, up in the hood.
Micheal: (angrily walks in) stop talking like that. Your a fat white nerd. Start Актёрское искусство it.
Jimmy: SHUT UP DAD!
Micheal: Ты shut up!
Jimmy: Your ruining the show!
Micheal: *mockingly* I think it was 'already' ruined *laugh track is heard, and Micheal smirks proudly as words appear, saying "That's Micheal"*


SCENE 5 (censored):
Trevor: (seeing the game's Theropist): I'm telling Ты doc! I grieved him! And wasn't even (bleep)in dead!
Doctor: And how dose that make Ты feel?
Trevor *getting angry*: (bleep) you, why Ты always asking about my 'feelings'
Doctor: It's my Jo-
Trevor *angry* I had a tough life alright! MY DADDY! WAS NOT! NICE TO ME!
Doctor: And how dose that make Ты fe-
Trevor: (bleep) YOUUU! *runs over to the deck and violant slides stuff off it*
Doctor: Hey! That's my stu-
Trevor: AHHH!! *punches hole into wall*
Trevor: *insanely* KNOW HOW I (bleep)IN FEEL YET!?
Doctor: Sir. I need Ты to cal-
Trevor: *dose to the doctor, what he dose to Johnnny Klibitz* (bleep) YOU! WITH A (ten bleeps at once) AND BUCKET OF (bleeeeeep)!
Trevor: *starts destorying the room, while literary 'everything' he says is being bleeped out).

SCENE 6:
Steve: *doing his show* Hi. I'm Steve., and.. I. Well.. GET THAT FUCKIN CAMERA OUT MY FACE *attacks the camera man, and please stand by scene appears*
added by Seanthehedgehog
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Ponies: *Drag racing with Porsches*

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Stallion: *Going down a холм, хилл in a Silverado, and goes through a big muddy puddle*

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Ultimate Deadman: I have something special to share with you.

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Tim: *With Captain Jefferson* We're gonna have to find a different way to stop those off-roaders.
Captain Jefferson: The State Troopers could give us a Suburban to get the job done.

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Tim: If I win this race, Ты three will be arrested!
Ultimate Deadman: What happens if one of us wins?
Tim: I leave Gran Turismo for good.

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car...
continue reading...
added by Canada24
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added by Seanthehedgehog
The best song in Raiders, for the best scene in the movie.
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added by Windwakerguy430
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Welcome back to the shittiest TV shows ever.
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Here's your Избранное Крипипаста Windwaker.
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Source: funnyjunk
I prefer the original opening, with the Touchstone logo.
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