King of Red Lions: Well, here it is. Dragon Roost Island
Link: I knew that
King of Red Lions: How
Link: Well, the name of the island just materializes on the вверх of the screen
King of Red Lions: Oh, well, Ты go ahead and see whats going on
Link: Aren't Ты coming with me
King of Red Lions: I would, but, Ты see, I have things to do, and- Oh right, I'M A FUCKING BOAT
Link: Okay, Mr. Smartass, I'll go look (Walks off)

Link: Wow, its a place filled with bird people. I feel as though, that this must be some sort of alien race
Postman: Link, hello again
Link: Hello... you
Postman: Ты don't recognize me. I am Postman. I live amongst the tribe of Postal Bird People and deliver mail to worship или Mail Gods
Link: .............. That's stupid
Postman: Yes, its is. Anyway, let me introduce Ты to our king
King: Ah, hello, young hero.
Link: My god, what is it with this place and its crazy bird human hybrids
King: We are this way to worship the Mail Gods.......... Also we live near a nuclear waste facility.
Link: So, I guess I should get through the near by temple quick
King: Pretty much
Link: So, what do I do
King: Just go and talk to my daughter so she can give Ты a letter to give to my son
Link: Why didn't Ты just give me the letter
King: I.......... Don't know...........
Link: Nevermind, I'll just get this stupid letter to give to your possibly stupid son
King: (Laughs) It's funny cause its true

Medli: Oh my... Are you...... a human
Link: Yes, I am, and Ты are a creepy human bird hybrid girl.......... Eh, considering my sex life, I'd still hit it
Medli: So, did my father send you
Link: Yep, and.... What's with that syringe
Medli: Oh, no reason... Эй, what's that
Link: Huh (Turns) (Medley pokes Link with syringe) Ouch
Medli: Sorry about that. I just need to check for.... diseases............ Could I have a pluck of your hair, please
Link: Yeah, I am just going to take this letter and go. Bye (Runs off)
Medli: (Whispers) You'll be back human, and I'll be waiting

Link: Hey, are Ты the kings dumbass son
Komali: Oh, my god. I'm not stupid. My dad is just a prick
Link: That's great... By the way, can I have that ball. I need it and it will be a great way to help me avoid the temple
Komali: NO! FUCK OFF! ITS MINE!
Link: Okay, guy. Geez. I'll just get the ball some other way

Link: Well, shit, I'm out of ideas. And there is no way I am going into that temple. Right Na- Oh right, Navi isn't here........ Tad- No, not Tadle either........ What about Kebora Gebora........... Midna............... Not even Fi.............. Anyone........... Got this game is lonely........ Oh well, I guess I can just-
Medli: Link
Link: Oh thank god. Someone.
Medli: What
Link: Oh nothing. What is it
Medli: I can help Ты get to the temple
Link: And I wish I was left alone again
Medli: Don't worry. I'll help Ты all the way through
Link: Well, I guess I don't have a choice. So, what should I do
Medli: Just throw me up there and I'll help Ты get in
Link: Okay (Picks up Medli) Wow, Ты are a lot lighter then usual
Medli: Well, all I eat is seeds and stuff. I am a bird human hybrid after all
Link: Okay. One. Two. THREE (Throws Medli into a wall) Oh shit, are Ты okay
Medli: Yes, I am fine
Link: Oh... in that case- (Throws Medli again)
Medli: Ouch, what was that for
Link: To be honest, its actually really funny
Medli: Can Ты please just throw me up there
Link: Fine fine (Throws Medli at wall) (Laughs) Okay, seriously this time (Throws Medli over wall)
Medli: Okay, now I will throw this bottle at you
Link: A bottle. How will this get me up there
Medli: Just figure it out....... или look up a walkthrough on Youtube, I really don't care. I'll just go on ahead and not get kidnapped. Bye (Runs off)
Link: Well, this will take fore-

Link: I still can't believe that bottle helped me get all the way up here
Medli: (In cell) Oh thank god, Link. My math was wrong..... I got kidnapped
Link: Called it
Goblin: Hey, what are Ты doing here
Link: Ты let that girl..... bird.... thing.... go right now
Goblin: Oh, I'll let her go, right after I Показать her a little thing called ra-
Link: (Stabs goblin in the chest)
Goblin: I was... going to say..... rare raco collection (Dies)
Medli: Oh Link, thank Ты so much...... About that pluck of hair-
Link: Can I just go and kill the temple boss
Medli: Sure sure, he's behind that door

Link: Yoo-hoo, level boss
Gohma: Hey, who are you
Link: I am Link, and who are you
Gohma: I am Gohma
Link: Gohma? Wait, didn't she die... And wasn't she a girl
Gohma: .......... Shit, okay, my name is Joe
Link: That's kinda boring
Gohma: Says the guy who is named after URLs.
Link: So, can we fight
Gohma: Fine, but remember, I am the first level boss, so I am invici- (Link kills Gohma)
Link: Okay, time to get out with the portal. (Gets in portal and starts spinning) Wooooooooooooaaaaaahhhh

Link: (Ends up outside)
Medli: Oh thank god, your безопасно, сейф Link
Link: (Vomits)
Medli: Link, are Ты okay
Link: I'm fine, just really sick.... That's going to happen in every temple, isn't it
Medli: Anyway, my brother has something to say
Komali: Эй, asshole, I did some thinking and I think I'm going to become a rock star, so I won't need this shitty ball anymore
Link: Fine, then I'll take it, douchebag
Komali: Fine take it. I hope Ты choke on my ball
Link: .....................................
Komali: Wow, that did not come out right
Link: Yeah, I'll just go, and I probably won't see Ты guys again, especially for story reasons. Bye (Walks off)
Medli: You'll be back, Link, and when Ты do, I promise, I will catch Ты imprison you, and most definitely rape-
Link: Huh
Medli: Oh, um, I said, bye Link. Good luck on your journey... and shit
Link: Oh... okay (Walks off)
Medli: I really need to stop thinking outloud
TO BE CONTINUED