Nick VS Bicyclists
Nick: (Drives car down the street) Ah, a peaceful drive (Drives like a maniac) I hate it. It’s better to drive like a maniac (Bicyclist rides in front of him, and Nick stops the car) Wait, why am I stopping. I oughtta hit him (Honks horn) Hey, get out of the way
Bicyclist: (Listening to MP3 Player, not being able to hear Nick)
Nick: Oh, come on (Tries to look past him, to see the road) This is a catastrophe (Honks horn some more) IT’S CALLED A BIKE LANE FOR A REASON, Ты жопа, попка (Bicyclist turns to the opposite street, with a lamp pole now in the way, but Nick is too distracted by the Bicyclist to notice) Yeah, Ты better keep ride- (Crashes car into lamp pole) OH COME ON!!!!!
Nick: (Sitting on curb, as car gets towed to mechanic.
Cody: (Walks by) Hey, Nick, never would have expected to see Ты outside.
Nick: Quiet. I’m thinking
Cody. About what
Nick: About how to get revenge on those goddamn bicyclists, of course.
Cody: What are Ты talking about?
Nick: A bicyclist came by, cut me off, and made me crash my car. I will not stand for this.
Cody: What do Ты stand for?
Nick: Anyway, I need to find out how to get revenge on them
Cody: Well, Ты can’t stop them. Bicyclist are a very active group of people.
Nick: In case Ты forgot, your talking to the same guy who got rid of the Litterbugs in this town, или at least the entire университет district. Now, shut up, and let me think in peace.
(Bulldozer passes by)
Nick: Goddamn it, can’t a guy think in this stupid town.
Cody: That looks like one of the bulldozers coming to get rid of the abandoned parking lot.
Nick: Since when was there an abandoned- Bulldozer, Ты say……….. Well, see Ты later (Walks off)
Cody: Huh, I wonder what all that was about.
Cody: (Walking to his dorm, after class, then see a giant bus in the way of the road) Nick, what’s this.
Nick: None of your business.
Cody: …….. Is this the university’s bus
Nick: What part of none of your business did Ты not understand.
Cody: Nick, what are Ты doing.
Nick: Okay, since you’re so nosy, I’ll tell you. After Ты told me about the Bulldozer, I had the best idea. I am going to block the road with the bus, take the Bulldozer once it gets here and destroy the bike Магазин in town, so that I won’t have to ever deal with any еще bicyclists again.
Cody: Of all the terrible ideas you’ve had, this is the worst.
Nick: Not really. The fireball spitter idea was the worst. And, this is a great idea. Dont Ты want to be rid of bicyclists.
Cody: No, because I am not a psychopath, like you.
Nick: Oh, come on, I am perfectly fine. I am 99.9% sane, with a very very very very VERY short temper.
Cody: Yeah, I noticed.
Nick: Now, Ты can either help или leave me alone
Cody: Nick, Ты are not going to destroy a shop
Nick: Oh yeah, try and stop me.
Cody: Okay, fine (Gets ready to hit him, but Nick hits Cody in the head with his crowbar and knocks him unconscious)
Nick: Never underestimate the power of a crowbar
(Bulldozer comes by)
Nick: Okay, here we go.
(Bulldozer stops at the bus)
Driver: What is this.
Nick: (Taps on the Bulldozer)
Driver: Yes
Nick: Excuse me, but, do Ты know the directions to the Airport?
Driver: Ты just go down this road and take a left, and it should lead Ты to it
Nick: Oh, thank Ты so mu- Oh, um, Ты got something on your nose.
Driver: (Wipes nose) Did I get it?
Nick: Not yet. Here, let me get it (Wipes his nose with a handkerchief) There
Driver: Hey, why does that thing smell like chloroform (Falls unconscious)
Nick: Perfect (Drags him out of the Bulldozer) I’m coming for you, bike Магазин (Drives Bulldozer to the bike shop)
Bike Salesman: (Waits at counter) God, this job is terrible. People just come, take bikes, and drive in front of my car. I sell the garbage I hate. Why won’t someone just tear this hellhole down
Nick: (Drives toward the bike shop) There it is
Cody: (Walks in front of the bulldozer) Nick, I can’t let Ты do this. If Ты tear this place down, Ты will be denying people their dreams. These people bike for a reason. If Ты want to tear this place down, you’ll have to go through me first.
Nick: …………. Okay (Keeps driving)
Cody: Damn, thought that would work (Jumps out of the way of the Bulldozer)
Bike Salesman: (Sees Bulldozer) Oh, thank god (Runs out the backdoor, as the Bulldozer crashes through the building)
Nick: Ha ha, take that, bicyclist
Cody: What did Ты do
Nick: Why do Ты care. Ты don’t bike
Cody: Well…. I always wanted to.
Nick: Eh, don’t worry. Ты aren’t missing something. I never learned how to ride a bike, and look at me. I’m doing great
Nick: (In jail for destroying the building) Yep, still doing great
End.
Nick: (Drives car down the street) Ah, a peaceful drive (Drives like a maniac) I hate it. It’s better to drive like a maniac (Bicyclist rides in front of him, and Nick stops the car) Wait, why am I stopping. I oughtta hit him (Honks horn) Hey, get out of the way
Bicyclist: (Listening to MP3 Player, not being able to hear Nick)
Nick: Oh, come on (Tries to look past him, to see the road) This is a catastrophe (Honks horn some more) IT’S CALLED A BIKE LANE FOR A REASON, Ты жопа, попка (Bicyclist turns to the opposite street, with a lamp pole now in the way, but Nick is too distracted by the Bicyclist to notice) Yeah, Ты better keep ride- (Crashes car into lamp pole) OH COME ON!!!!!
Nick: (Sitting on curb, as car gets towed to mechanic.
Cody: (Walks by) Hey, Nick, never would have expected to see Ты outside.
Nick: Quiet. I’m thinking
Cody. About what
Nick: About how to get revenge on those goddamn bicyclists, of course.
Cody: What are Ты talking about?
Nick: A bicyclist came by, cut me off, and made me crash my car. I will not stand for this.
Cody: What do Ты stand for?
Nick: Anyway, I need to find out how to get revenge on them
Cody: Well, Ты can’t stop them. Bicyclist are a very active group of people.
Nick: In case Ты forgot, your talking to the same guy who got rid of the Litterbugs in this town, или at least the entire университет district. Now, shut up, and let me think in peace.
(Bulldozer passes by)
Nick: Goddamn it, can’t a guy think in this stupid town.
Cody: That looks like one of the bulldozers coming to get rid of the abandoned parking lot.
Nick: Since when was there an abandoned- Bulldozer, Ты say……….. Well, see Ты later (Walks off)
Cody: Huh, I wonder what all that was about.
Cody: (Walking to his dorm, after class, then see a giant bus in the way of the road) Nick, what’s this.
Nick: None of your business.
Cody: …….. Is this the university’s bus
Nick: What part of none of your business did Ты not understand.
Cody: Nick, what are Ты doing.
Nick: Okay, since you’re so nosy, I’ll tell you. After Ты told me about the Bulldozer, I had the best idea. I am going to block the road with the bus, take the Bulldozer once it gets here and destroy the bike Магазин in town, so that I won’t have to ever deal with any еще bicyclists again.
Cody: Of all the terrible ideas you’ve had, this is the worst.
Nick: Not really. The fireball spitter idea was the worst. And, this is a great idea. Dont Ты want to be rid of bicyclists.
Cody: No, because I am not a psychopath, like you.
Nick: Oh, come on, I am perfectly fine. I am 99.9% sane, with a very very very very VERY short temper.
Cody: Yeah, I noticed.
Nick: Now, Ты can either help или leave me alone
Cody: Nick, Ты are not going to destroy a shop
Nick: Oh yeah, try and stop me.
Cody: Okay, fine (Gets ready to hit him, but Nick hits Cody in the head with his crowbar and knocks him unconscious)
Nick: Never underestimate the power of a crowbar
(Bulldozer comes by)
Nick: Okay, here we go.
(Bulldozer stops at the bus)
Driver: What is this.
Nick: (Taps on the Bulldozer)
Driver: Yes
Nick: Excuse me, but, do Ты know the directions to the Airport?
Driver: Ты just go down this road and take a left, and it should lead Ты to it
Nick: Oh, thank Ты so mu- Oh, um, Ты got something on your nose.
Driver: (Wipes nose) Did I get it?
Nick: Not yet. Here, let me get it (Wipes his nose with a handkerchief) There
Driver: Hey, why does that thing smell like chloroform (Falls unconscious)
Nick: Perfect (Drags him out of the Bulldozer) I’m coming for you, bike Магазин (Drives Bulldozer to the bike shop)
Bike Salesman: (Waits at counter) God, this job is terrible. People just come, take bikes, and drive in front of my car. I sell the garbage I hate. Why won’t someone just tear this hellhole down
Nick: (Drives toward the bike shop) There it is
Cody: (Walks in front of the bulldozer) Nick, I can’t let Ты do this. If Ты tear this place down, Ты will be denying people their dreams. These people bike for a reason. If Ты want to tear this place down, you’ll have to go through me first.
Nick: …………. Okay (Keeps driving)
Cody: Damn, thought that would work (Jumps out of the way of the Bulldozer)
Bike Salesman: (Sees Bulldozer) Oh, thank god (Runs out the backdoor, as the Bulldozer crashes through the building)
Nick: Ha ha, take that, bicyclist
Cody: What did Ты do
Nick: Why do Ты care. Ты don’t bike
Cody: Well…. I always wanted to.
Nick: Eh, don’t worry. Ты aren’t missing something. I never learned how to ride a bike, and look at me. I’m doing great
Nick: (In jail for destroying the building) Yep, still doing great
End.
