Medley: (Touching Link’s hair)
Link: Will Ты stop that
Medley: But I can’t help it
Link: Well, Ты better try and help it, otherwise, I’ll cut off your head
Tetra: No Ты won’t
Link: (Angrily) No I won’t
(Later, at Forest Haven)
Link: Oh, not these annoying hippy bastards
Tetra: Oh, they can’t be that ba-
Great Deku Tree: Oh, Link, it is good to see Ты again
Tetra: AHH
Link: Told you
Great Deku Tree: Calm down, little one, no need to wor-
Tetra: Stay the fuck away from me, Ты creep
Great Deku Tree: Goodness you’re rude.
Link: Yeah, try having her drag Ты around like a dog.
Great Deku Tree: Well, anyway, Link, I need Ты to take this bottle of water
Link: Okay.
Great Deku Tree: Get into your boat.
Link: Got it
Great Deku Tree: Then travel to eight different islands
Link: Wait, what.
Great Deku Tree: Pour the water onto eight different trees
Link: What.
Great Deku Tree: Before the water dries out in twenty minutes.
Link: Are Ты fucking serious.
Great Deku Tree: (Happily) Yes, I am fucking serious.
Link: That ship can barely get to one island in an hour.
Great Deku Tree: That is none of my concern. Now, get out of here and get to work.
Link: Motherfu-
(Later, at a smaller island)
Link: Goddamn, we only have one last island left, and we still have five минуты left. I think we’ll make it (Notices there is no way towards the other side of the island but to fight off monster, and jump across platforms) Fuck. My. LIFE.
(A few минуты later)
Link: (To Korko) Okay, here is the damn water
Korok: OUR PEOPLE WILL RULE OVER Ты PATHETIC HUMANS
Link: Fantastic. (Pours water on tree, but nothing happens) Was that supposed to do something
Korok: THIS IS HUMAN WATER! IT IS INEFFECTIVE!
Link: WHAT! You’re telling me that I just went through all that shit, and now, I have to go through all that shit again.
Korok: YES!
Link: MOTHERFU-
Medley: (Flies by) Link?
Link: WHAT?!
Medley: I got Ты another bottle full of Forest Water, so that way, Ты won’t have to go through all that again.
Link: What, Ты really did this? Why? I mean, I do treat Ты like crap, and I do try to kill Ты in your sleep ever since тетра invited Ты onto the ship. Why would Ты help me.
Medley: Because, I Любовь you, Link. Sure, I do smell your hair, and I do try to chain Ты up to the Стена to make Ты mine forever, but, I do care about you.
Link: … Well, I guess I could-
Korok: WATER! POUR ONTO TREE! NOW!
Link: Okay, fuck (Pours water onto tree, making it grow)
Tree: HA HA HA! THANK YOU, PATHETIC HUMAN! NOW, US дерево PEOPLE WILL RULE THIS WORLD! TAKE THIS AS A SIGN OF OUR GRATITUDE! CHARISHE IT WITH WHAT LITTLE TIME Ты HAVE, HUMAN! (Spits out two hundred rupees)
Link: (Not Caring) Hooray
(Later, on the ship)
Medley: So, Link, do Ты care about me now.
Link: Medley… I hate everyone alive. I could create massive genocide, and the deaths of millions wouldn’t affect me. I could chuck a brick at a newborn baby, and wouldn’t feel sympathy for it. Same goes for anyone.
Medley: Oh…..
Link: But, I guess I do have some respect for you, Medley… Do know that it is little. Still, it’s еще respect than I have for anyone.
Medley: (Happily) Okay, I’ll take that. Does that mean we can have sex now
Link: Still not gonna happen. Not a chance in hell I will commit bestiality just because I respect you.
Medley: Can I at least feel your hair.
Link: Fine
Medley: (Feels his hair, moaning with pleasure)
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: Will Ты stop that
Medley: But I can’t help it
Link: Well, Ты better try and help it, otherwise, I’ll cut off your head
Tetra: No Ты won’t
Link: (Angrily) No I won’t
(Later, at Forest Haven)
Link: Oh, not these annoying hippy bastards
Tetra: Oh, they can’t be that ba-
Great Deku Tree: Oh, Link, it is good to see Ты again
Tetra: AHH
Link: Told you
Great Deku Tree: Calm down, little one, no need to wor-
Tetra: Stay the fuck away from me, Ты creep
Great Deku Tree: Goodness you’re rude.
Link: Yeah, try having her drag Ты around like a dog.
Great Deku Tree: Well, anyway, Link, I need Ты to take this bottle of water
Link: Okay.
Great Deku Tree: Get into your boat.
Link: Got it
Great Deku Tree: Then travel to eight different islands
Link: Wait, what.
Great Deku Tree: Pour the water onto eight different trees
Link: What.
Great Deku Tree: Before the water dries out in twenty minutes.
Link: Are Ты fucking serious.
Great Deku Tree: (Happily) Yes, I am fucking serious.
Link: That ship can barely get to one island in an hour.
Great Deku Tree: That is none of my concern. Now, get out of here and get to work.
Link: Motherfu-
(Later, at a smaller island)
Link: Goddamn, we only have one last island left, and we still have five минуты left. I think we’ll make it (Notices there is no way towards the other side of the island but to fight off monster, and jump across platforms) Fuck. My. LIFE.
(A few минуты later)
Link: (To Korko) Okay, here is the damn water
Korok: OUR PEOPLE WILL RULE OVER Ты PATHETIC HUMANS
Link: Fantastic. (Pours water on tree, but nothing happens) Was that supposed to do something
Korok: THIS IS HUMAN WATER! IT IS INEFFECTIVE!
Link: WHAT! You’re telling me that I just went through all that shit, and now, I have to go through all that shit again.
Korok: YES!
Link: MOTHERFU-
Medley: (Flies by) Link?
Link: WHAT?!
Medley: I got Ты another bottle full of Forest Water, so that way, Ты won’t have to go through all that again.
Link: What, Ты really did this? Why? I mean, I do treat Ты like crap, and I do try to kill Ты in your sleep ever since тетра invited Ты onto the ship. Why would Ты help me.
Medley: Because, I Любовь you, Link. Sure, I do smell your hair, and I do try to chain Ты up to the Стена to make Ты mine forever, but, I do care about you.
Link: … Well, I guess I could-
Korok: WATER! POUR ONTO TREE! NOW!
Link: Okay, fuck (Pours water onto tree, making it grow)
Tree: HA HA HA! THANK YOU, PATHETIC HUMAN! NOW, US дерево PEOPLE WILL RULE THIS WORLD! TAKE THIS AS A SIGN OF OUR GRATITUDE! CHARISHE IT WITH WHAT LITTLE TIME Ты HAVE, HUMAN! (Spits out two hundred rupees)
Link: (Not Caring) Hooray
(Later, on the ship)
Medley: So, Link, do Ты care about me now.
Link: Medley… I hate everyone alive. I could create massive genocide, and the deaths of millions wouldn’t affect me. I could chuck a brick at a newborn baby, and wouldn’t feel sympathy for it. Same goes for anyone.
Medley: Oh…..
Link: But, I guess I do have some respect for you, Medley… Do know that it is little. Still, it’s еще respect than I have for anyone.
Medley: (Happily) Okay, I’ll take that. Does that mean we can have sex now
Link: Still not gonna happen. Not a chance in hell I will commit bestiality just because I respect you.
Medley: Can I at least feel your hair.
Link: Fine
Medley: (Feels his hair, moaning with pleasure)
TO BE CONTINUED