It was a wonderful день in Canterlot, until some ponies started panicking.

Con: What's going on?
P: Discord is back, and he's murdering еще ponies!
Con: I'll stop him!
Discord: Keep it up! Everypony in this town must die!
Korean ponies: Affirmative! *kill each other*
Discord: Don't kill each other! Only kill the ones that live here.
Con: *shoots Discord*
Discord: Ты really think that pistol of yours will work?
Con: I shot Ты in the arm! Why aren't Ты bleeding?
Discord: Because, I'm invincible!
Con: *takes away invincibility* Not anymore.
Discord: That's it, you're screwed! Everypony, drop the nuke!
koreans: *drop nuke*
Con: Oh, fu- *wakes up* Oh thank goodness. It was only a dream.

Con's cell phone then started to ring

Con: Mane here
P: Con? Discord is back.
Con: And too bad I just woke up. *hangs up*

Fillies, and gentlecolts! I present to Ты the 6th Con Mane adventure, On Celestia's Secret Service

Starring

Doughnut Joe.................................Con Mane
Rarity..............................................Rareesa
Discord................... .....Ernst Staverald Discord
Pinkie Pie.............................................P
Spike....................................................S
Fenix Lighter....................................Himself
German ponies................................Good guys
Swedish & Korean ponies................Bad guys

Cars provided by

Chevronet
Coltillac
Dodge
Fillys
Flam
Flim
Laune

Con reported at P's office.

Con: I got your call, what's Discord up to now?
P: He is now trying to kill agents from various organizations.
Con: He must have a Список with him.
P: He does. His first three targets are you, Fenix Lighter, and Rareesa.
Con: Really? Couldn't he kill some other pony?
P: He will, after he kills Ты three.
Con: *sighs* I'm on it. Should I see S before I leave?

The answer was yes.

S: Hello 0007.
Con: Hi S, what do Ты have for me?
S: Glad Ты asked, because it will blow you, and your enemies away.
Con: A ракета shooting car?
S: Precisely, Chevronet Corvette with machine guns, and missiles behind the headlights.
Con: Both are behind the headlights?
S: Yes, and they pop up to, so you'll give your enemies a surprise.
Con: What about my gun?
S: A Nambu pistol, with a choice of automatic firing, или semi automatic.
Con: Nice.
S: And one еще thing. Remember that pen I used to tranquilize somepony?
Con: How could I forget that?
S: I'm giving that to you. Not only is there a tranquilizer setting, but a confusion, as well as poison.
Con: Who knew words could kill?
S: I did. You'll be heading to Rareesa's Главная in Trottingham England, and make sure Discord does not kill her. Fenix, and some other M.I.3 agents will be there to help.
Con: Affirmative.

Con arrived at Rareesa's home.

Rareesa: Con, so glad Ты made it.
Con: Of course, I gotta make sure the sexiest mare in all of Equestria doesn't get killed.
Fenix: Along with me.
Con: Correction. I must make sure the sexiest mare ever, and my best friend don't die.
Fenix: Ja.
Rareesa: How long have Ты two known each other?
Con: Since we were colts.
Fenix: Right, and now we gotta go stop Discord.

The three ponies went for a walk toward a горнолыжный спорт, лыжи resort. Rareesa lives in a really cool part of town, literally.

Fenix: I have some soldiers stationed by here. They'll be able to get us from here to Discord's base.
Con: Alright, in the mean time the three of us can go skiing.
Koreans: *arrive on snowmobiles*
Fenix: или not.
Con: Go get those soldiers, we'll cover you!
Korean pony62: Hello Ты two.
Rareesa: Hi.
Korean pony62: Don't think about running, because we are getting help from Sweden.
Con: Ты need all the help Ты can get to stop us. *shoots korean pony* Take his snowmobile!
Rareesa: *leaves on snowmobile*
Korean pony85: Alright Ты two, as we planned.
Con: *skis down hill*
Sweden pony24: *follows Con*
Con: *switches to automatic firing*
Sweden pony52: HA! He has a small pistol!
Con: *kills sweden ponies*
Korean pony85: *passes & shoots at Con*
Rareesa: Oh brilliant!
Korean pony85: *shoots at Rareesa*
Rareesa: *teleports behind pony*
Korean pony85: What?!
Rareesa: *breaks the pony's neck*
Con: Rareesa! Ты ok?
Rareesa: I'm alright darling. Where are the Germans?
Fenix: In helicopters!
Con: Excellent.
Fenix: Hop in, and we'll get to Discord's base.
Con & Rareesa: *Get in helicopter*
German pony35: *Flies helicopter*
Con: How many ponies are here?
Fenix: 12, and they're all willing to fight alongside you.
Con: Excellent. Where is Discord's base?
German pony35: Right in front of us.
Korean pony86: Intruders!
Swedish pony48: It's the Germans!
Fenix: Con, get on ze machine gun.
Con: *gets on MG, & shoots enemies*
Swedish pony66: We need a rocket launcher!
Swedish pony23: Here! *gets bazooka*
Con: *destroys bazooka*
German pony35: We have to land.
Fenix: Then do it.

All three choppers landed on the base, and all 15 ponies stormed out.

Fenix: Con, through this way!
Con: I'm right behind you.
Swedish ponies: *fire at Germans*
Germans: *fire at Swedish*
Con: *shoots enemy* Whoops! Forgot it was on automatic. *reloads*
Rareesa: I'll cover you. *shoots two enemies*
Korean ponies: Ты Swedish scum can't do anything right! *Shoots Germans*
German pony47: We have 4 down!
Con: *heals them* Thank god for being a unicorn.

The fighting went on for two еще minutes, until Con, & Rareesa decided to continue on, while the Germans would wait by the helicopters.

Con: *searches for Discord*
Rareesa: I can't find him anywhere.
Discord: *hits Rareesa*
Con: Whoa! You're not supposed to hit mares!
Discord: I don't care, I'm not a pony.
Rareesa: *hits Discord*
Discord: I have two intruders, and need back up.
Swedish ponies: *run toward Discord*
Con: Rareesa, get out of here with the others. I'll handle this. *fights Discord*
Swedish ponies: Hold your fire!
Con: *teleports himself & Discord on cable car*
Discord: *pushes Con*
Con: *holds onto ledge*
Discord: *grabs gun*
Con: *jams it with magic*
Discord: Ты goddamn unicorn. *hits horn*
Con: *climbs back up*
Discord: Stay down there! *hits Con*
Con: *grabs pistol*
Discord: *Fixes his gun*
Con: *Shoots Discord*
Discord: *Falls off cable car*

Now Con just had to escape Discord's army.

Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.

Fenix: Con! On here!
Korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Rareesa: Con!!
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.

Koreans, and Swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call

Con: Hello?
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as Ты can!
Con: I gotta go *floors it*
Korean ponies: *follow in other cars*
Con: What did Ты do?
Rareesa: The helicopters were getting shot down, and I left.
Con: Ты just abandoned the Germans?!
Rareesa: I made them invincible for 5 minutes.
Con: Oh thank Celestia. We need to escape these ponies now!
Koreans: *shoot at Con*
Con: I wanna try something *drops grenades*
Koreans: *blow up*
Rareesa: So much for them.
Swedish leader: But Ты forgot about us.
Con: *teleports into Ponyville raceway*
Swedish pony56: *steals race car*
Con: *shoots other race cars* That should block his path, and make him go into that lake.
Swedish pony56: *Crashes, and goes into the lake*
Swedish leader: *Shoots at Con*
Con: *Turns left*
Rareesa: What are Ты doing?
Con: Blowing him away *Shoots missile*
Swedish leader: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! *dies*
Con: *teleports off race track*
Rareesa: That was cool.
Con: thanks *Repairs car*
Fenix: Rareesa! Thank Ты for making us invincible.
Rareesa: It was the least I could do, since Ты were about to die.
Con: *laughs* Ты know Rareesa, I've been thinking..
Rareesa: What?
Con: I know we've only known each other for less then two weeks, but..
Rareesa: But what?
Con: I Любовь you. I know I'll never find another mare like you. Will Ты marry me?
Rareesa: *kisses Con* Ты mean it?
Con: Yes.

So it was settled, Con & Rareesa got married the Далее day, and the two were cruising down a road in Con's Corvette.

Con: I got a week's leave, so I'll hang with Ты until I have to go.
Rareesa: I'm planning on joining the C.I.E.
Con: Ты are? What about M.I.6?
Rareesa: Forget them, you're not in it.
Con: *Stops car*
Rareesa: *Grabs flower* Любовь me
Con: I already do
Rareesa: Infuriate me.
Con: I would never!
Rareesa: In..
Con: In.. In a great honeymoon.
Rareesa: *laughs*

While the married coupled were kissing, Con was in for a surprise.

Korean mare: *driving by*
Discord: *shoots at Con*
Con: It's Discord! *gets into car* Discord.

Rareesa was killed, and Con tried to bring her back to life, but his horn was broken. Discord shot it. And 0007 swore to get revenge on the asshole that just killed his wife.

The End

Con Mane will return in Diamond Tiara's Are Forever


Here are three previews to other Фан fictions from SeanTheHedgehog.

Con Mane: You'll Only Live Twice - 2013

We begin our story in Beijing, which was violently taken over by the koreans.

Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* еще like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do Ты need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that Ты know this, I gotta let Ты go *kills Con Mane*

A few days later the C.I.E found Con Mane dead in the warehouse.

P: Bring him back to life!
Doctor: We can't. It's past 24 hours.
S: Well, at least he died on the job. That's how he wanted to go down.
Moneybit: Yeah, *cries*
P: What happened that got Ты into this Con?

Hedgehog In Ponyville With A Vengeance - 2012

As Pinkie Pie shot a rocket, a grenade was being cooked, and thrown towards us. "This can't be good." Pinkie said. I knew this was bad, so I had to act quick. "Chaos Control!" I shout, as I Переместить us away from the explosion. There was just one downside from what I just did. We were no longer in Equestria, but in another place I knew. "Where are we?" яблочная водка, яблоко, кальвадоса asked. I had no idea, but as I looked around, I soon realized where we were. Then I saw an '81 Impala with a California License Plate. It also had a год on it, "Oh damnit." I say "What's wrong?" яблочная водка, яблоко, кальвадоса asked, "Where are we?" "San Francisco 1982." I tell her. We time traveled back 32 years, and soon we were greeted by a guy wearing a mask, carrying a brown bag. "Hey!" he shouts. As I hear him shout, I floor it. The burglar then tried to shoot me, but missed breaking the window of a Mercury behind me. After I escaped the burglar I tried to use Chaos Control, but the sight of police lights behind me makes the изумруд fall out of my hands, onto the floor. яблочная водка, яблоко, кальвадоса shouts at me, but I can't hear her because of the engine in my car, so she shot the officers behind my car. Pinkie Pie was the only one to help us out of this. "Pinkie, Поиск in the перчатка, перчатки compartment for a chaos emerald, ok?" I ask. Instead of getting a chaos изумруд though she looks at me confused, "Aren't we already causing chaos?" she says. How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that?! The police are behind me, and we have to get back to Equestria, and help радуга Dash, and Shredder take Doughnut Joe's from Discord's control. "Please just look for it Pinkie!" I say. I didn't mean to shout at her, but I nearly crash into a mustang. Pinkie then finds the изумруд and hands it to me. "Ok good job. Chaos Control!" Soon we arrive at the battle for Joe's.

1960 - 2015

Karl: I got a decent car for free. *Laughs to himself*
Cop: Attention all units, be on the lookout for a 1957 Ford Fairlane stolen from a Hertz rental place just outside of L.A.
Cop 4: Ten-4, we'll keep an eye out for the car.
Cop: The rental company doesn't want any damage on this car. Understood?
Cop 4: Roger.
Karl: *Yawns* Why do I feel so... sleepy? *Falls asleep*

Song: link

Karl: *Swerving to the left, and right*
Ponies: *Honking their horns*
Karl: *Hits the brakes, and turns left. He goes faster*
Cop 4: That car is speeding.
Cop 3: Might also be the stolen car we're looking for.
Cop 4: *Drives after Karl*

The police turned on their sirens, but Karl was still asleep.

Karl: *Turns left, then right*
Pony: *In a station wagon, swerves to prevent herself from hitting Karl*
Cop 4: *Stops. The station wagon is blocking their path*
Karl: *Turns left into a parking garage*
Ponies: *Staring at Karl*
пони 4: He's asleep.
Karl: *Leans on the horn, but that still doesn't wake him up. He lifts his head up, leans it on the window to his left, then turns right to go up*
пони 7: *In another car, about to Переместить вперед until she sees Karl*
Karl: *Turns around, and starts to drive out of the parking garage*
Ponies: Look, he's coming back.
Karl: *Turns left after exiting the parking garage*
Garbage Ponies: *Accidentally spill garbage on the road*
Karl: *Swerves left to avoid the garbage, then gets on the right side of the road*

A corvette was slowing down in front of him to stop at a intersection.

Karl: *Passes the Corvette*
Ponies: *Stop to avoid hitting Karl*
Karl: *Slowly opening his eyes, but closes them again staying asleep. He starts going up a hill*
пони 18: *Driving a truck towing a flat trailer carrying boxes that contain air conditioners*
Karl: *Having a dream, and honks the horn twice* Get outta the way, and learn how to drive.
пони 18: *Hears Karl honking his horn, and moves out of the way*
Karl: *Passes the truck, then goes downhill*
Police Pony: *Sees Karl pass him* That guy's asleep behind the wheel! *Follows him, and turns on his siren*
Karl: *Goes into a racing stadium*
Racing Ponies: *Racing around a figure 8. They are on the 100th lap, and won't stop until they hit 300 laps, или when all cars are destroyed*
Racing пони 53: *Crashes into another car, and drives off the track*
Racing пони 0593: *Pushes another racer off the track*
Karl: *Drives his car onto the track, and passes a few race cars*
Racers: *Crash into each other to avoid hitting Karl's car*

Another race car crashed into the wall, making this noise for five seconds: link

Karl: *Drives around the track, then turns off, and heads for the exit*
Police Pony: *Waiting for Karl at the entrance*
Karl: *Passes the police pony. The left front tire hits a rock, and the car is close to flipping over, but leans all of the way to the right*
Police Pony: *Staring at Karl, and continues to chase him*
Karl: *Having another dream as he goes up the холм, хилл again* No Leslie, Ты can't drive. I'm better at it then Ты are.
пони 90: *Sees Karl driving his car on two wheels, gets scared, and spins out of control in his Desoto. He hits another car*
пони 87: *Goes down an embankment, and crashes into a boulder*
Police Pony: *Stops to see if everyone is okay*
Karl: *Passing a Cadillac, nearly getting the left side on the car*
Cadillac Pony: *Stops*
Karl: *Goes down the hill*
Ponies: *Looking at Karl's car*
Karl: *Gets the left side of his car down, and slowly wakes up* Where am I? What happened? *Stops*
Pony: Sir, are Ты okay?!
Karl: Yeah, where am I?
Pony: Bakersfield. Are Ты sure you're okay?!
Karl: Yeah, thanks, you've been a real help. *Drives away*
пони 35: What was that all about?
Pony: *Shrugs*